When I was at University, three other girls and I rented a house for our second – fourth years. It was a small, run down place with its own special charm. One of the charming features was the lack of inssulation and the increadibly cold temperature of the building. We once put an ice cube on the baseboard – it took more than a day to melt. Another feature of the house was the toilet in the only bathroom. Most notably was its inability to function all the time. The following prayer hung above that tempermental fixture for three years.

The best kind of toilet is one that flushes consistantly.

Prayer to the Toilet Demons

To the Demons in my toilet, I really have to go

To the Demons in ny toilet, please let the water flow

To the Demons in my toilet, I am begging you to say

That you’ll be so kind as to let the toilet flush today

I am ever more grateful for the proper functioning of a good toilet. I think this is one of my favourite inventions of all times.

Certainly it is one of the things I would miss most if I was forced back in time. Yes, I have thought quite a bit about toilets over the years. They are great – when they work.