I saw London Has Fallen on the weekend. You may not have heard of it. I didn’t know about it until I went to the cinema to watch it. It’s a sequel to the blockbuster and cultural cornerstone Olympus Has Fallen starring Gerard Butler in his depressingly ageing attempt to appear youthful and relevant in an action hero role. Evidentially, he could not beat Henry Cavill’s audition for Superman.

It’s worse than Olympus Has Fallen. If you want a more in-depth review of the movie, go here and simply replace all instances of Olympus with London:

http://somewherepostculture.com/olympus-ballin/

I’m serious. This movie gives an awful sense of deja vu. Not just because the premise and weaknesses of its predecessor are out in full force but also because the movie spends a helluva lot of time aping other famous movies in an attempt to crawl out of the cesspool of its own excesses. I suppose it’s kind of an achievement that it made me think back to Olympus Has Fallen fondly, as though I were witnessing the mis-appropriation of some time held classic soullessly resurrected in the name of easy profit.

And if Olympus Has Fallen is unrealistic, London Has Fallen has ramped up its glorified American flag-waving delusions to the umpteenth degree. What’s even more infuriating about the movie is that it does pull on current issues–specifically middle eastern radicalism and the blow back on western society–but does it in such an empty gesture as to provide no nuance or greater understanding for the audience. Those devious Muslims are killing noble, family-loving westerns because we’re good and they’re bad and that’s just the way it is.

They also have an inordinate amount of money that would make Augustus St. Cloud blush. And that sentence just makes me wish I was discussing Venture Brothers instead of this pile of rubbish.

Anyway, if you’re bored and cursed with too much cash than you know what to do with, I recommend you see Zootopia.

On the other hand, there’s been new Summoner Wars announcements! Take a gander at this fantastic art!

Summoner Wars belongs to Plaid Hat Games and associated individuals and whatnot. It can be found here: http://www.plaidhatgames.com/. And no, I have no idea what’s going on with that girl. I’m assuming it’s the result of Take Your Child to Work Day.

I’m excited. It should give me something to discuss for a good month or so. Though it’ll probably be a month of complaining. Oh well! Happy March Break!