So last week, we checked out Summoner Wars’ new and improved Sneeks. We took a brief preview of his summoner card and events. Today, we’ll be examining his champions. There’s only three cards here, so this should go a lot faster. Well, it should go a little faster. 

Well, we don’t come here for brevity.

First up is the rather disgusting looking Blarf. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a fan of this art direction but I can at least appreciate that the guy looks delightfully horrible. I always appreciate a little filth in my fantasy. 

I’m intrigued by Blarf if only because he comes with two deck building symbols. I wonder what the motivation to make him available to a wider pool is. Is it because his abilities somehow perfectly represent the opera helmet and Venetian mask symbol factions? Or maybe he’s so bad that it doesn’t matter if he gets spread around a little more?

Because let’s be clear, Blarf is bad.

Alright, it’s premature to make categorical claims like that. However, he comes peculiarly weakened from his Summoner Wars original incarnation. His best feature is his cost. At zero, not only is he always affordable but, more importantly, he interacts with Sneeks Sly and events. Which is probably what doomed the poor troll… orc… ugly boy. A pool of six health is an improvement over old Blarf. He can serve as a good one turn distraction for your wee goblins. However, his strength gain is decidedly worse. First, you need to trigger Blarf’s Blood Runes at the start of your attack phase. This means you can’t fuel it with fresh kills this round but must keep some magic from the summoning phase so he doesn’t hurt himself. Granted, missing a Blood Rune trigger is only one damage. Which means Blarf can deny himself without costing you an attack but I’m not certain how often those situations will arise. 

Furthermore, you want to be paying Blarf’s toll so that he can start hitting. Otherwise you’ve a mobile wall. A mobile wall that will slowly turn into a threat that your opponent will always see coming three turns away. But when you consider old Blarf could gain +4 attack at any point, it’s a bit disappointing.

So he’s largely a Sly platform and not much else.

Next up, we have Smeg. 

I’m guessing this is Smeege’s younger cousin. 

I’m not sure what to make of Smeg. He/She/It is obviously a little anemic. Losing health from the transition over to Summoner Wars 2.0 is not a great sign. Sure, they gained a strength but Smeege essentially had 2 attack with Frick’s ability. I think, once again, comboing with Sly has seen Smeg’s effectiveness get downgraded. That said, a healthier Slinger complete with it’s free attack, is still good. And Smeg is still like Smeege where Smeg’s negative can be an upside. Your opponent doesn’t really want to attack Smeg, hoping that Magic Junkie will make their cost exorbitant. But not attacking Smeg means Smeg can lay on the damage. And failing to kill Smeg means Smeg can reliably deny themself at the end of your turn. Plus, Smeg’s upkeep cost comes after you discard for magic so you can be reasonably assured that you can afford the Magic Junkie tax. Positioning from Sneak, Sly and buffing with Enrage the Horde are all added perks. Smeg’s good and I don’t see any reason why Smeg wouldn’t show up in every battle with the sole exception of the game ending before Smeg’s drawn.

Of note, Smeg is one of a very limited sources of ranged attacks in Sneeks’ army too. 

And now, for the main course. 

The Eater was one of the best original Cave Goblin champions. The new Eater still claims that title. He’s received a (probably justifiable) price increase. He comes out heftier (9 health) and stronger (5 strength) but his ability is not as good. He only auto kills your units now at the end of the attack phase so the Eater is more vulnerable to any possible future shenanigans that can change dice rolls. At five strength, he’s likely to be killing most things he’s on, however, unless he’s going after champions. And at five melee strength, he’s apt to be exchanging well with them. The six magic cost is noteworthy if only because Sneeks doesn’t make a lot of magic and Sneeks’ other champions kind of want to skim off your low magic pool each turn. 

It might be a little obvious that you’re saving for him, is all I’m trying to say.

So there you have it. The Eater is great! Smeg is good! Blarf is barf!

See you next week!