Category Archives: Blog

My Garden

First you must appreciate that I am not really good at gardening. It is something I am learning to like – in small quantities. I mean, I like the look of gardens but I am not fond of the work. Certainly I am not good at the constant, expected maintenance required for a truly beautiful garden. I generally find myself interested in the garden for a day or two in the spring. Otherwise, I want to look at not weed the plots.

At one time I would purchase annual flowers from the local store, faithfully plant them in the ground and watch as they died over the course of the summer. This death was partly due to the fact they were annuals and destined only to live for one short growing season and partly because I am not good at caring for plants. I really have a Darwinian approach – once placed in the ground the plant will either live or die as it sees fit.

My focus now is vegetables. After all what good is a pretty plot if you cannot eat it? I enjoy mixed success with the species I plant. Cherry tomatoes tend to do very well. Last year I had a crop of tasty peas, but I was unable to replicate that success. Instead, this year I am happily harvesting beans. While I am stubbornly attempting to grow corn, I have yet to actually harvest any cobs from the plants.

Not my pumpkin vine, but very similar in appearance.

One of the most fascinating members of my garden is the pumpkin. I am constantly astounded at how large and sprawling the plants become. I have tried starting them as seeds indoors and sowing them directly into the ground. This year, two of my three plants appeared to sprout from a section of soil where I know I didn’t plant any seeds. They are also the healthiest of my three plants and the snaking stalks have stretched some fifteen feet across the lawn. Because the plants have such massive leaves, the pumpkins send out tendrils to help anchor the plant. This has the added bonus of helping it climb over any obstacle that might otherwise hem in its growth.

One of my pumpkins is trying to gown into the small raspberry patch. In my effort to separate the two species and mow the scraggly grass beneath the pumpkin I made a new discover. Pumpkin plants send out additional roots from their stems as they grow. Now doubt these secondary root clusters help to further anchor the plant, thus provide support for the large dinner-plate sized leaves, as well as absorb additional nutrients and water from the ground. I had previously thought they had only the one set of roots at the base of the long stems.

This discovery was almost as remarkable as learning that pumpkins have both male and female flowers. Only female flowers can potentially develop into the actual orange pumpkins (a fruit for those who didn’t know). My plants are always full of male flowers, but very few females. I have seen a couple on my larger plants, so fingers crossed I will get some carving pumpkins by Halloween this year.

While my garden is not the type to garner admiration from others, I continue to find it a remarkable space. Plants are crazy in their variable designs and watching them grow, almost visibly before my eyes, is truly a wonder.

Cake Decorating Course – Epic Fail

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This makes the course appear more interesting. I too was hopeful once.

I have been had. Duped. Played. Conned. All by my once favourite shopping establishment. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration. Michael’s craft store may not have been my very favourite place for shopping – after all, I do love my books. However, it was a place of inspiration and wonder until this past weekend.

Perhaps I should have recognized the signs earlier. Perhaps I should have known it was all too good to be true. But alas, I was naïve and now I have to pay with my innocence.

The tale rightly began a week past when I noticed a small add in the weekly flyer; 50% off cake decorating classes. That is great! I thought. I have been watching TV cooking shows for years – well, sort of. I was drawn to programs revolving around the art of baking than cooking. Baking is a joy to me, cooking is a necessity. Recently I thought it would be fun and highly educational to join a course and learn some of the finer arts of cake decorating. I like pretty things and wanted to create my own intricate designs.

So, with my mother for company (she also had a long standing interest in said arts), I signed us up for a four week course. There was a small struggle to find the appropriate paper work – a subtle sign that I completely ignored. At the time I was more amused to note we were the first people joining this particular course than concerned about it foretold.

Saturday we went back to Michaels to purchase the beginners, course 1 supply kit. The course fees did not includes supplies – something I stupidly did not price out at the beginning of this doomed venture. I was cognisant of the fact Michaels is not cheap, and the course kit was brand name. However, the 40% off coupon should have been applicable when purchasing regularly priced items. Except this week there was a promotion – buy 2 at regular price and receive a third free. Thus neatly invalidating the coupon and skyrocketing my investment. Not impressed.

I finished baking the dozen cookies we were required to bring to class Sunday morning. We then left the house in good time to arrive a few minutes early – arriving before the store even opened! Four people had been lured unsuspectingly into this futile endeavour; two mothers and their respective daughters. Even at that the other mother was absent. I guess we didn’t have to worry about workspace in the smallish-sized craft room.

One diminutive woman, with greying hair and a filthy chef coat introduced herself as our instructor. She did an extremely bland and not at all amusing introduction of her years of experience – at least 40. Then followed this up with a tedious preamble about paper signing and the personalized certificate you receive uponcompletion – how quaint. I thought this concluded the administrative aspects and we were going to launch into the mysterious techniques of sugar and piping bags. I was sorely mistaken.

Nope, another 20 min were wasted watching the monotone leader tell antidotal stories of her past exploits while showing us how to mix icing. Yup, shortening, sugar and an electric mixer make for some exciting times. But hey, the course books finally arrived after that and I got to examine glossy images while the tittering great-grandmother waxed and waned on the glories of Wilton products and their importance in the kitchen. I am not taking advice on how to bake a cake from a woman how believes boxed mixes are just as good as made from scratch! And uses Jell-O cups as cake filler.

But all was not lost, we eventually got to our own supply kits, icing and homemade cookies. Finally, the meat of the lesson, the reason we were all here, the actual purpose of the course was to be revelled. I straightened from the slouched stupor I had acquired over the previous sixty minutes. I dug through my shiny new tools expectantly. I opened the lid on my container of fresh, lemon sugar cookies cut out with round and heart-shaped moulds.

Icing was transferred into the crisp new piping bag. The tip was attached with eager fingers. The practice cards were readied and I waited with baited breath for the first lesson. The sum total of which was making stars. Yup, that was all we were going to do this lesson; talk about the endless products made by Wilton and pipe boring white stars onto flat cookies. 25 stars and two cookies later I was bored. While I passed the piping bag to my mother for her turn, I flipped through the pages of our student support guide for other techniques. I tried three on the next two biscuits to the nearly horrified gasps from the glorious cake coach. Who was ready to remind me there would be time later in the course for trying other things. Really?! Squiggles are too advanced for our first lesson? Seriously, we are going to just drop stars on a cookie?

Between the bland condescension, the vapid stream of dialogue, endlessly un-amusing jokes and the indeterminably slow pace, I would rate this as one of the longest two hours of my life. And it wasn’t even the full 2 hours as we finished early. Suprise, it doesn’t actually take 2 hours to make stars!

Since then, I have looked through the rest of the lesson guide – things don’t seem to pick up much over the next three weeks. However, the number of highly recommended supplies along with the required supplies (your own cake and several batches of icing) does get longer and more involved. So, do I venture back again on Sunday or do I cut my losses and save my sanity?

If nothing else, I have learned several really valuable lessons. Do not take courses through Michaels – more time will be spent pitching product than learning anything. In this area of things, basic is probably too basic for me and anyone else over the age of 8 years old. Before signing up, find out how much materials will actually cost in addition to the course fees. Finally, if the instructor’s name is Diane run far and fast least you be waylaid but inane chatter and dangerously dull comments.

A Difference in Levels

Sticks & Stones

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The tournament of Hearts is on this week. For those unfamiliar with the sport of curling – this is the nationals for the women’s teams.

For those who have never curled, try not to judge the players too hard before you have spent two hours delivering and sweeping rocks yourself. It may look easy on TV but I can assure you – from experience – it is not. I am not referring to strength; anyone can through a rock the length of the ice. And many people can sort of sweep the rocks. However, it is difficult to through it exactly where you are supposed to and even more difficult to know how to call the ice and sweeping for the rock. Even sweeping is not as easy as it looks – you have to combine the right amount of pressure and friction along with a good sense of how fast that rock is travelling and where it will stop. Three years into the sport and I still struggle to make any of my shots.

However, even more interesting than playing the sport or watching the game on TV is learning about some of curling’s rich history. Recently, I was fortunate to talk with an older gentleman who remembers a time when teams played 14 ends (not the 8-10 ends common now) and other mostly forgotten trivia.

Curling was developed in Scotland, the home of golf. Like golf, curling started with 18 ends. Imagine going back and forth across the ice sheet 18 times. Currently teams will play 10 ends in just under 3 hours. Granted the style of game has changed some in that time. There are now rules about guards – mostly the first four guards cannot be removed. This has shifted the strategy of the game and the type of shotes. Previously most shots were take-outs, not draws, meaning the game moved that much faster.

The size and weight of the stones has also changed since its inception. At one time, stones ranged from 40 – 60 lbs – there was no set size. Now, of course they are uniform in size, weight and shape. Only a small running surface on the bottom of the rock is actually in contact with the ice. Further, and most interesting to me, the act of putting a spin on the rock was against the rules. Apparently, skips were expected to guess which way a rock would start curling (spinning and arching across the ice) by reading the ice and the rocks. To add a spin was thought to be cheating as you were directing the rock. Weird.

As the sport evolved, Canada developed its own style and Europe a slightly different variation. One of the big differences being the spin on the rocks. Now the rules are consistant – at least to my understanding.

Evolving along with the rules of the sport are the rules of the social aspect – which many consider just as important. Parts of the country, my club included, follow the social norm where the winning team is responsible for buying the first round of drinks after the game. It is expected that both teams sit together for some time after they play. Perhaps it is this attitude that makes curling so welcoming to beginners at all ages. I have met some players that started after they retired from work, while others have been curlings since they were children. It is impressive that the oldest curler at our club is 96 years young!

It is a great sport and still one of my favourites to watch. Go Ontario Go!