Author Archives: Kevin McFadyen

About Kevin McFadyen

Kevin McFadyen is a world traveller, a poor eater, a happy napper and occasional writer. When not typing frivolously on a keyboard, he is forcing Kait to jump endlessly on her bum knees or attempting to sabotage Derek in the latest boardgame. He prefers Earl Gray to English Breakfast but has been considering whether or not he should adopt a crippling addiction to coffee instead. Happy now, Derek?

Feature image

Come for a Moment

Well, it has been some time. Through a series of escalating events, I have been quite busy and unable to attend this little piece of digital space. First, I found myself seeing to the care of guest for a month longer than expected. Then, just as that was finishing, Nano happened and I was neck deep in writing that had fallen to the wayside. And, of course, Nano usually starts a pretty long dry spell as we spill into the holidays.

So that is pretty it. Unfortunately nothing exciting like international intrigue or combating the forces of evil or unearthing long-forgotten secrets.

There was a brief respite in there, however. And that is what I would like to close this year off discussing. You see, my uncle recently moved to the east coast. This was an unexpected development, especially for my mother who had tickets to attend Come From Away with them at the Royal Alexandria in Toronto. My uncle was clearly not flying over half the country to attend the play now so my mom had some spare tickets. She graciously offered me one.

Course, this was not just a ticket. It was a whole day affair. We went through some travel company which meant we were riding a bus into Toronto and we got dinner out of the whole event. It also meant that I was squeezed into a herd of individuals with a median age of 68. So I was the sole, young and sprightly member surrounded by a sea of experience.

Which is a convoluted way of saying that the theatre is mostly for old people. Course, that’s been the case for a long time now. It’s not like theatre tickets are cheap and when you’re going to see a popular show like Come From Away, you’re not going to find ticket offices trying to coerce people into unsold seats. As such, my mom and I were hardly in prime seating territory though we had an orchestra row which at least meant that we wouldn’t be distracted by behind the curtain action.

Accessed from https://9720b0612bc8605f64c6-de7813019ae974d812f84b0177f05d0b.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/de/cache/shows/49/poster_Show_CFA_2018.jpg
Come From Away and all associated images and whatnot belong to Irene Sankoff, David Hein, Mirvish theatre and however else you source musical theatre.

Also, our tour guide was absolutely in love with Come From Away. While certainly part of her exuberance would have been played up for her patrons in the hopes of selling more tickets (either to another showing or whatever other tour they would offer for the next show), she seemed genuinely happy to be seeing the play again. This is the point wherein I share my hipster concern. It is hard for me to get excited for a show that has seen universal acclaim. Primarily, this is an indication that the producers have shot for general appeal with hardly anything new, interesting or risky in the material. Wide appeal is typically indicative of safe work. Which is usually indicative of derivative work. Nothing is safer than that which has already been proven to work.

This likely is why I get confused for hating everything.

Well, guess what critics, I liked Come From Away! Nay, I really enjoyed Come From Away! I may have even adored it!

There’s really no simple place to start with discussing the play. It’s a straightforward, well-done musical. Is it an instant classic? I’m hardly one to make that distinction. But I can’t remember having this much fun at a musical since seeing The Evil Dead and being one row from the splatter zone.

I suppose I can discuss the story. Come From Away is the sort of heartstring tugging schmutz you’d expect it to be. It’s a story about the small town of Gander being overrun with foreigners when America suddenly closed their airspace during the 9/11 attacks. Given that the creators clearly had their sights set on Broadway, the play really focuses on this American connection, to the surprise of no one. Course, there’s a fair number of Newfoundlander characters as well though the entirety of the emotional journey rests on the American passengers.

I would say the most interesting part of Come From Away’s narratives arise when there’s mention of the other travellers. It’s easy to focus on the people whose country was attacked by the terrorists but the ripples of the event stretched much farther than that. There a moments when the people of Gander need to accommodate those that don’t speak English and there’s the added fear and confusion of, say, African passengers being stranded in the middle of world they don’t even know. And of course, Gander is hardly equipped to handle this level of international pressure.

This is where, of course, the entirety of Come From Away’s strengths lie. It’s the little stories and struggles that people face which has been turned into compelling pieces. No one would expect a shortage of sandwiches and blankets to really resonate with audiences but the writers have cleverly focused the story through the lens of about a dozen characters on both sides of the situation. There’s no conflict other than the uncertainty and anxiety of dealing with the unknown: whether that’s what do you do with almost seven thousand visitors in a town of the same number or how do you cope with the terrifying realization that a terrorist attack has been committed on your home and you were so close to it yourself that people aren’t even sure if you are a potential threat or not.

The way the writers weave their narrative of emotion is through combining the real life stories into several cornerstone individuals. So, there’s the first American female pilot, the Gander veterinarian, the town’s mayor, an American environmental business consultant, mother of a New York fireman and many more. Here, the different real life stories have been condensed so that these twelve individuals experience the whole gamut of human emotion as they struggle to either comfort or cope with the loss and tragedy around them. Structurally, Come From Away is a one act play. From what I can gather, this is a novelty for musical theatre. However, it does lend itself to a fast and frantic atmosphere, leaving the whole production as just a brief moment in everyone’s lives – including the audiences.

Course, this does leave very little time for the play to cover all the action. The pacing feels like it was, at one point, a two act play with how thoroughly it introduces the characters and setting. About three quarters of the way through, however, things are rushed to an ending. While this is a great way to demonstrate the whirlwind of feeling and action, it also leaves the motivations and emotional development of several its character along with their arcs undeveloped. A few characters relay decisions that are not fully understandable in quick succession while the emotional climax of the piece reaches its crescendo… then quickly wraps up with a time skip final song that tries desperately to tie all the action into a messy little bow.

Accessed from https://9720b0612bc8605f64c6-de7813019ae974d812f84b0177f05d0b.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/de/cache/shows/49/hero_CFA_CANADA_S_0279.jpg

It’s inelegant and the only blemish I have for the play. Technically, however, it’s absolutely a marvel. The stage is mostly several wood pillars, twelve chairs and a central rotating platform. From that, however, the cast is able to seamlessly transport you across airplane cabins, holds, Gander’s Tim Horton’s, a scenic lookout and various shelters and buses along the way. There’s very little in props but between the motion allowed by the rotating platform and the physicality of the actors, the audience receives a terrific sense of motion and pace that makes them feel like they’re flying through the three tumultuous days.

And the actors’ performances were top notch too. There’s very few scenes where all twelve of them aren’t crowded on the stage, flipping between the four or five characters each one of them is tasked with bringing to life. But regardless of the minimal costume changes, you’re never left wondering who is playing what. There’s excellent application of accents but it flows so effortlessly that it’s hard to pin down which technique adds the most clarity to their personas. But it’s very impressive to observe.

The music is catchy too. The band takes the wings of the stage, showing up to play as local bandmembers whenever it is cute. The songs are uplifting and joyful though I would have liked to see a bit more Newfoundland flair to them. My biggest complaint is, however, my highest compliment. Watching Come From Away only makes me wish there were more Come From Away.

There have been a lot of stories about the unforeseen impact of the twin towers terrorist attacks. Many of them even search for the positive and human reaffirming lens that lets people heal from the tragedy. Come From Away hits these notes but doing so without coming across as preying upon a simple and straightforward topic for easy emotional capital. More than anything, it felt like the creators really wanted to honour this small town that opened its doors and its heart for these strangers that came from everywhere. Having travelled to Newfoundland myself over the summer, the hardy folk that call it home truly are something else. It really is a delight to see and whether you want to watch some clever technical prowess or simply be lost in the music and people, you’ll discover something to love from the production.

And Come From Away really goes to show you can find something truly special in even the most unlikely of places.

Hammer, Sickle and Giant Steel, Comrades

You know what the world needs? More mechs. But I don’t mean Japanese mecha, I mean old style giant-tin-cans-on-legs mechs. We’re talking about the old Mechwarrior from the nineties mechs, where it took forever to turn and your vehicle was huge, plodding and carrying the weight of something that would be thousands of pounds. Japanese mecha are cute but are basically samurai with guns.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Accessed from https://cf.geekdo-images.com/opengraph/img/OroKc5LPGoND4I9_uXn13pLCMxM=/fit-in/1200x630/pic3163924.jpg

Scythe and its associated imagery and whatnot belong to Stonemaier Games. Though, I’m uncertain how accreditation works given the controversy over its art. I’ll let Stonemaier deal with that.

So over the past month, I got the privilege of playing a boardgame that fulfills this desperate gaping hole in our societal’s foundations: Scythe – a Stonemaier Games release designed by Jamey Stegmaier. For my friends who are super into boardgames – and let’s be clear, I am not super into boardgames – this was an exciting release. The art is gorgeous (though evidently mired in controversy) and the gameplay is pretty interesting. I wanted to give the game a shot, and a large part of that was the massive steam powered mechs set in a turn of the nineteenth century Europe struggling with a shift from agrarian society to an industrial one. But beyond the neat setting for the game, there’s a number of interesting gameplay mechanics that made the game standout.

Sadly, Derek and I never really got an opportunity to try the game together when it lauched. Derek played it a bunch, however, so when he invited Adam and I to a campaign for the final expansion release, I felt I was at a bit of a disadvantage. Scythe had already two substantial add-ons – Invaders from Afar and The Wind Gambit – and Rise of Fenris was billed as being its biggest addition yet. I had some catching up to do and I was essentially thrown at the wolves in order to do it.

Let’s begin with what I learned from my first game.

Scythe involves players choosing a faction which provides them with a lovely little hero figurine that depicts their character and their animal companion. I’m not certain why every character has a pet. From what I can tell, they never factor into the gameplay itself, but each seems to be designed carefully around matching the animal and character with their general culture on which they are styled. A faction is a fantasy version of an old turn-of-the-century nation state. Derek chose them randomly for our session and we had Saxony (Germany), Nordic Kingdom (Norway) and the Togawa Shogunate (Japan). We were then randomly assigned our factions with Adam on Germany, Derek on Norway and myself as Japan. Derek was excited since he got to play his favourite faction. I was fortunate since I was the only expansion faction and had additional rules to learn.

We then played our first game of the Rise of Fenris campaign.

Thankfully, Rise of Fenris is specifically designed for idiots like me. It introduces the elements of the game gradually, with only the campaign log sheet as the new element to juggle on the first match. This let me focus on learning the base of Scythe. Which, despite its appearance, isn’t as formidable as I initially felt.

Scythe is a rather misleading game that appears like it would be fantastical Risk on a strange board. Every faction starts in a predetermined location. The original five start on isolated islands with the two expansion factions (Scotland and Japan) taking up the distant corners of the map. The board is separated into hexagonal territories associated with a single resource. There are four resources on the board – wheat (or honeypots as we called them), iron, wood and oil. You need wheat, iron, wood and oil in order to enlist lieutenants, build your mechs, build your structures and upgrade your board actions respectively. Along with your faction board, every player is handed a random action board at the start of each match. These boards have the same actions split across four columns but the top actions are randomly paired with the bottom actions on each board. That was a confusing sentence.

Accessed from https://9to5toys.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2017/11/scythe-board-game.jpg?quality=82&strip=all&w=1600Let’s break down the action board since it’s the meat of the game. If you are dealt, say, the Patriotic board, then you will have the Move action on the top of your first column and the upgrade on the bottom. On the other hand, the Industrial board has the Bolster action over the Upgrade action on the first column. The way your turns work is that you will select one column and then perform the top and bottom actions (if able). Some of the top actions have a cost associated with them but they’re usually pretty small like paying a coin. The bottom section, however, all have much higher costs. These costs, of course, are determined by your action board so those Industrial and Patriotic names aren’t just for show. They will generally steer your style of play with your faction.

It’s an interesting way to mix-up the game’s strategy. Each faction has a unique element that generally makes them strong at a portion of the game. Saxony may place any number of their accomplishment stars for winning battles despite the game’s win condition. This naturally pushes them towards war. Norway, however, can cross rivers with their workers prior to building the associated mech which grants that ability. Thus, Norway is pretty good at territory control. Japan drops traps and I have no idea how they work because expansion factions are weird. But while you may pick Saxony as your faction you might end up with the Agriculture board that makes your mechs cost four iron to build. That’s a lot of iron and may direct you towards a more peaceful approach to the game.

So how do you win?

Each player has six star tokens to track their progress against twelve or so tasks. These tasks range from winning a battle, building all your mechs or maxing out the power tracker on the game board. The first player to place all six stars immediately ends the game. But this doesn’t necessarily mean they win. Factions are then scored on the number of territories they control, the amount of gold they have accumulated and the number of stars that they have placed. How high your score is on these three factors is further influenced by your popularity with the people. It’s possible (and happened twice!) that you could trigger the end of the game and still lose the match – much to Adam’s chagrin. From what I can gather, reputation is king and you want to get as high as you can on that track so that all your other objectives will push you ahead of your opponents. There’s a bit of a wrinkle with this reputation tracker, however. Whenever you battle an opponent and win, you force that opponent to retreat his units back to his starting territory. If some of those units are workers, then you lose reputation equal to the number of workers that were forced to retreat.

So despite the initial appearance of trying to dominate the board and scoop up all the resources, there’s a real cost to just rampaging which will be reflected in the people’s dislike of you as a war tyrant.

In fact, I did very well during the campaign by minimizing my combat engagement. I mostly adopted a strategy of trying to pump my popularity as high as I could while constantly improving my action board and building the little buildings. There are the four different actions on your action board, after all, and mechs only really contribute to combat. Buildings provide four different bonuses. They’re pretty small and mostly improve your action economy when taking the top action on your board. Your monument, for example, can improve your popularity by one every time you take a bolster action. The windmill allows you to produce an additional resource on the tile that it’s built. Your mine allows greater movement between certain tiles on the map and the armoury improves your power on the power tracker.

There’s a lot of moving parts to Scythe and while the game mechanics are fairly simple, knowing what to do is pretty complicated. I made a goal of trying to reach the factory for my first couple of games. The factory space is located in the centre of the board and when you arrive you may look at the top two cards of the factory deck and choose one to keep. This gives you access to an additional action that you may take. The value of this action, however, varies wildly between what your goals are and the card you draw. I saw a lot of factory cards throughout the campaign and can confirm that they are not all built equally. Sadly, controlling the factory also counts as three territories at the end of the game scoring. I say sadly because I never was able to maintain it throughout the campaign due to the presence of far stronger military factions that could chase me out whenever they wanted. But it does mean that the factory always holds strategic value and a point of interest even after you scoop up that factory card.

So that’s regular Scythe in a nutshell. It’s meaty enough that even after a couple of runs through the regular game, I still don’t know what’s the best way to address it. But as the campaign progressed, a regular game quickly became a fleeting thing.

Accessed from http://www.heavymetal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/jakub-rozalski-1920-dog-in-the-fog-small.jpgSee, Scythe: Rise of Fenris adds a whole slew of wrinkles to this formula. I believe there was a new mechanic pretty much every game. And there were eight matches to be played throughout Fenris. A lot of these new elements were mostly to add variance to basic aspects of a regular Scythe game. For example, later on in the campaign you can randomly select the tasks that you place your stars on. The expansion also included mech and infrastructure mods. These are powerful tokens that can really change the nature of your faction. Mech mods allow you to customize the abilities your mechs provide. Oh! I didn’t talk about mech abilities (because there’s so much of the darn game to cover). When you build a mech, it provides a new bonus that applies to your character and all your mechs for the rest of the game. Some of these are simple things like giving you an extra movement when you take a move action. Others give you greater advantages in combat like if you are fighting alone or if you’re defending. Some let you enter the lake tiles or move from lake to lake. Since you can’t take the same action twice, these little changes can give you an advantage whenever you take your movement action. The mech mods allow you to further customize and specialize your faction for a specific game plan.

Infrastructure mods, however, are the real bees knees. Most of these give you a free use of a bottom action board action. This is really valuable in the early game when you’re unlikely to have four iron to build your first mech which could take upwards of four turns or more to achieve. All three of us immediately latched onto grabbing as many infrastructure mods as possible and I’m uncertain about their value outside of a campaign game. It did make the campaign feel a bit manageable since it shrank the length of the games (and we had to squeeze three games in each time we played). I could see infrastructure mods being an excellent way to introduce a handicap for a mixed-skill play group, however. Give your beginning players a free infrastructure mod or two while the more experienced players get nothing. It’s a little advantage that can give the beginner something to be more competitive and a pretty simple addition that doesn’t require a lot of explanation.

I’d say the biggest mechanic the Rise of Fenris adds that would get the most play are the two new factions. These are pretty advanced when compared to the original factions released. And, as luck would have it, Adam and I both ended piloting them in our games. I was in control of the Vesna faction which is all about variance. Vesna’s mechs actually start with two blank abilities and her other two mechs have very underwhelming abilities. However, she has a pile of her own mech mods that she picks six randomly at the start of each game. You then tailor your mechs to the mods you chose and the goal of that match. For a more experienced player, I can see how this would be very valuable. I mostly just picked random ones because I had no idea how to use my mechs. Her other ability, however, I really enjoyed. At the beginning of the game, after setup, she gets to draw three factory cards that she has access to from the very start of the match! This is extremely powerful but comes with a significant downside. Once she uses a factory card, she must discard it. This applies to the factory card she picks up from reaching the middle of the board as well. However, early access to these cards seemed very powerful and I think Vesna is a strong early game faction meant to rush out an early advantage then close the game before her enemies can catch up.

The Fenris faction, however, is almost the exact opposite. Led by Rasputin, Fenris is all about war. They have a stack of eighteen influence tokens. Whenever Rasputin moves, he can drop these tokens on the board – one on his square and one anywhere else. Later, with a mech ability, Rasputin and his mechs can jump to influence tokens. This gives Fenris unprecedented mobility but there is a cost. Each influence token held at the end of the game counts as a negative victory point! Thus, Rasputin begins with a massive deficit in victory points that he’s trying to offload. A further wrinkle, however, is that enemy players may move onto influence tokens. Doing so claims the token but also results in negative victory points at the end of the game. Rasputin also has a unique board in that he naturally has less and gains less popularity. No one likes weird Russian mysticism. It’s hard for me to evaluate the strength of Fenris, especially since Adam came into it so late in the campaign and accidentally had a perfect setup to play them (since he was initially Saxony, all his infrastructure mods were for pumping out fast mechs which is Fenris’ goal). Even worse, Adam was able to leverage his superior mobility (and our low player count) to secure Tesla for the final match of the campaign.

Tesla I think may be the least useful element of Rise of Fenris. I didn’t like him and I’m not saying that just because he made me lose or that he’s ridiculously broken in the Fenris faction. Tesla operates as a second hero for your faction, with all the abilities of that hero. Only one player can control Tesla but when it means that Adam can toss influence tokens at twice the rate, it really negates the negative of Fenris while also making it near impossible for us to counter him. I was able to eke out a victory in the final map, but as it turns out, final scoring basically assured Adam the win after his run as Saxony. Seriously, if you want to win the Fenris campaign, grab Saxony. Their ability to complete multiple quests per game and get as many stars as battles they win is silly since you can claim those victories as any goal during the final scoring. More than half your final score is determined by how many rows and columns you complete on your campaign log and Saxony ensures that, no matter what random board or victory condition you pull, you will always be able to fulfill your missing requirements for those rows.

Accessed from https://i1.wp.com/www.123inspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/1920-Jakub-Rozalski-6.jpg?fit=676%2C942Granted, Derek did teach us the game wrong so we were all playing with one victory condition near impossible to complete. That might have skewed things a little as well.

Overall, I think I liked the Rise of Fenris expansion. It adds quite a lot to the Scythe experience but its greatest strength is providing more variance so you can breathe new challenges and strategies into matches if you’ve played it enough to turn the base game stale. There’s far too many fiddly components in it, however, so I think you’ll only ever end up playing with one or two different components in any given match. At the very least, Vesna and Rasputin should give a lot of exciting games on their own with their very strong faction abilities.

And I don’t want to brag too much, but for having never played the game before, I ended up winning five of the eight matches. Maybe I was given an unfair advantage between having Japan and turning their start location into the incredibly mobile Vesna.

Or maybe I’m just a Scythe savant. Though it’s more likely that I’m an idiot savant.

Feature Image

Tall Tales

We’re continuing our month of things I love and I thought I’d write about something special today. It’s the movie entry and it’s an older movie too. It may not be the best movie. In fact, there are plenty of people who would say it’s not even a good movie. But every now and then you’ll come across something that just hits you on all levels.

And Big Fish is one of those special movies to me.

There was certainly lots of criticism when it came out. And there are certainly things about it that I recognize as being weak and flawed. I’m certainly not won over by Ewan McGregor’s work in the film but that’s easily compensated by Albert Finney and Billy Crudup’s portrayals which do a fantastic job of selling the grounded portion.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Accessed from https://filasiete.com/wp-content/uploads/2004/03/bigfish4.jpgLet’s first cover what Big Fish is. It’s one of those emotional father-son stories that explores the intricacies of a strained relationship. Billy Crudup plays Will Bloom who is a realist who has never really gotten along with his father. He puts up with him due to obligation and through encouragement from his mom but when he learns his father is dying of cancer, he has to come home and reconcile himself with the terminus of the paternal figure in his life. To Will’s credit, his father isn’t particularly honest with him. Edward Bloom is a renown teller of tall tales. No doubt he’s got quite the charm and reputation around town for spinning fantastical webs but this has only alienated Will who feels he’s been pushed out of important aspects of his father’s life.

While staying home, Will and his wife Josephine explore the house and find mementos that remind Will of all the stories his father told him. The film divides itself between Will’s last days with his father and the story of Edward’s life as told with Edward’s flair. Edward has a huge propensity for the dramatic, starting with his telling of his birth involving flying through the hospital halls like a fumbled football. His childhood is riddled with fantastical machines and scary witches. When he’s in high school, he’s the star quarterback of his school’s team. But after graduation, he feels he’s become all he can be at home and so sets off into the larger world.

There, Edward Bloom comes across a giant and convinces him to stop terrorizing the countryside’s sheep and encourages him to join the circus. There, Edward falls in love the moment he spies his eventual wife Cassandra while time literally comes to a standstill.

It’s important to note that Edward’s section of the movie is filmed with incredible whimsy. The colour and lighting is brighter and reflects more of a 50’s aesthetic. There’s tremendous use of special effects and props to bring the fantastic world of Edward Bloom’s imagination to life. It’s a visual feast that reminds me strongly of the charming visuals that made Pushing Daisies such a treat.

Anyway, in order to learn the mysterious woman’s name, Edward works for the ringmaster for three years doing all manner of horrendous jobs. But he does it with a smile and his characteristic cheer because he knows it’s all worth it for the woman he hopes to meet at the end. The ringmaster fulfills his end of the bargain when Edward’s contract closes and Edward rushes off to finally speak with Sandra. Only, this become complicated when the war breaks out and Edward is conscripted.

Accessed fromhttps://yourhappyplaceblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/t2ypy2vgyf.jpg

Big Fish is directed by Tim Burton, distributed by Columbia Pictures, based on the novel by Daniel Wallace and associated images and whatnot belong somewhere among that medley.

The film veers into his silly wartime stories and when Edward returns he becomes a travelling salesman. At this point, frustrated with his father’s insistence on maintaining the veracity of his crazy stories and refusing to tell Will the truth, Will sets off to find some of the people and places from Edward’s tales. It’s then that Will comes across a few of the people that Edward has told him about – they’re still portrayed by the same actors though obviously aged to reflect the passage of time. And here Will learns what he wanted. While Edward’s stories all revolve around kernels of truth, the reality is far more plain than Edward recounts.

In fact, the people that Will meets all say they prefer Edward’s whimsical recollections over the crushingly depressing truth of what happened. But Will disagrees. He’s quite happy to finally learn what actually happened and is satisfied to know that his father was nowhere near the remarkable man he made himself out to be.

Will then gets a call that his father has suffered a stroke. Hurrying back to the hospital, he finds his father awake but clearly on death’s door. With his final moments, Edward asks Will to tell him how his life ends. This is, of course, the film’s denouement wherein Will realizes that his father’s stories aren’t lies but how he views his life. His father is simply incapable of accepting mediocrity or the mundane so has wrapped his own failings and weaknesses into these grand battles of mythological gravitas. Will obliges, accepting that his father will not change and Edward passes with a smile.

The film continues on to Edward’s funeral and Will is surprised to see just how much of Edward’s stories were based on real people who come to celebrate the life of the man who touched them. His father’s lies were the truth of his father’s character. And while the two characters could never truly reconcile their personality differences, Will does understand his father.

I think the film does lend credence to Will’s criticisms, whether that was the authorial intent or not. Edward does try to hide and escape from negative decisions and consequences by re-spinning every action into a sweeping success. His stories are, for the most part, lies meant to forget the hardships they cover. But I’m not convinced that the movie was ever about promoting Edward’s character as anything more than a flawed father which a son has to come to terms with. For every child, there’s an element of idolizing their parent and viewing them as the hero of their lives. In turn, part of becoming an adult is recognizing that their parent is far from ideal. They make mistakes. They hold ugly opinions. Hell, most of the time we can’t even make them better.

Thus there’s a thread of melancholy that weaves through the saccharine flavour of Big Fish. There’s really no redemption for Edward. All that’s accomplished is Will recognizing his father’s foibles. But perhaps understanding is all that can be gained. If nothing else, it will prepare Will for the difficulties in raising his own child. And in knowing his father and his mistakes he can avoid them in turn. Will can learn from his father even if Edward never will.

And at the end, the ultimate message is that despite all the missteps, the characters acted out of love. Thus, indulging an old man’s delusions on his death bed is preferable as it gives agency in how he can be remembered rather than tainting the relationship past the point it can ever be changed.

I kind of like that the relationship is never really salvageable. I like the focus on storytelling and troubled familial relations. There’s just something that clicks for me with Big Fish. It won’t change the world. It won’t even change the characters. But sometimes you don’t need that.

Sometimes you just need to let an old man have his tall tales.

Feature Image

That Swinging Beat

Well, it’s that time of year again folks. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The temperature is soaring higher than an eagle making all that outdoor nonsense even less appealing. During this season of sun and fun, I do my annual “Let’s talk happy things!”

This little event happened a few years ago after I was unduly criticised for hating everything. Well, let’s push all that negativity away and focus on the positives! So for the next couple of weeks, I’m going to be sharing with you some of my favourite “things” from a whole bunch of different entertainment mediums. The world out there may be rapidly changing into something scary and unfamiliar but have no fear, I’ll always be here for you. You are my favourite person. Yes, you. The one reading this with the shirt. You’re the best and never forget that.

Oh, before we dive into this weeks fun, a bit of housecleaning. The Clockwork Caterpillar has now reverted to its original pricing. My condolences if you didn’t manage to catch it during its massive sale. But that shouldn’t hold you back. The digital copy is only $3.50! So you can still get it for pennies and enjoy the thrilling adventures of Felicity and crew!

Now on with the show.

Truth be told, even though I discussed my list of great things with Kait over our holiday, I don’t actually remember what I had planned to write. So if today’s band wasn’t meant to be my musical selection then you might get two artists this summer! You lucky devils you.

This little band may be quite unfamiliar to a lot of people. They are another European band (it seems my heart belongs to the EU). But what really got me loving their style is this fantastic fusion of old and new. Here’s a tidbit about me that you may not know: I used to do swing dancing.

Accessed from data:image/jpeg;base64,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

It should go without saying that I own none of the rights to Caravan Palace and their associated imagery. They are on the Wagram label, however.

That’s right, the crazy 1930s jaunt that involved short skirts and legally throwing girls around the room was a past time of mine during my university years. A friend of mine and I made a point to go out to the Swing Club on campus every Friday and stumble around in ungainly coordination in the hopes that someday we wouldn’t step on someone’s foot. It was a blast and I particularly enjoyed doing the Charleston which – woah Nelly – really builds up a sweat.

Sadly, I never got to throw my partner through the air like a sack of sausage but I did get to watch more advanced couples enjoy the rebellion against gravity and friction. The other great thing about swing dance is that swing music is so lively and upbeat in order to get its dancers moving with fury across the floor.

And there are quite a few old swing artists that I enjoy. Benny Goodman’s Sing, Sing, Sing comes to mind. If you haven’t heard it, you should check it out. But this isn’t meant to be a grave dive and we’re going to let those artists lie today. Instead, I was surprised and amused to discover there has been a resurgence of sorts for swing music. Maybe revolution is more accurate.

The band is called Caravan Palace and the genre has been dubbed “electro-swing.” It combines old swing melodies, often sampling from some of the famous songs of the times, and puts it to house or electric dance beats. It creates a rather catchy and addictive tune that I keep coming back to listen to again and again. I really dig this interesting concoction of old and new. It cleverly exemplifies how art isn’t about making things from scratch. It’s an iterative process and sometimes the old gives birth to something wholly new.

It’s also a good example of why copyright laws that are extended ad infinitum can be so regressive. But there’s no reason to drag that debate up now. We’re smiling and having fun which is the exact feeling I get when I listen to Caravan Palace’s work.

Accessed from https://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0004/343/MI0004343619.jpg?partner=allrovi.comThere’s a myriad of other artists making electro-swing music too. Jamie Berry and Parov Stelar are two excellent artists with just as catchy music as Caravan Palace. To be honest, I could have highlighted any of them. I ultimately went with Caravan because they were the first that I heard from the genre.

For samples of their work, I recommend checking out Rock It For Me. I think it’s one of their earlier numbers and certainly one of my favourites. It really highlights the twangy vocals that you can imagine ringing from the old gramophone or radio. You’d never even guess that the band was French either.

My other recommendation is my current obsession: Lone Digger. Oh, it’s sublime! I could listen to this on repeat for hours. I… may have actually done that too. Be warned, however, the music video is something else. I don’t even know how to describe it or how it connects to the music. But hey, we’re here for the jams anyway and I’ll grant that it certainly oozes style. I’d argue it’s more “modern” sounding than their earlier work too though it still retains its classic swing elements.

Hopefully this is a lovely demonstration of the exciting work that’s out there which may not always get mainstream coverage. Or, if you already knew about Caravan Palace, then you can happily enjoy the fact that you’ve been listening to a lovely gem for awhile now. The band is ten years old this year so they’ve got some lovely legs on them. I hope we can get ten more of their delightful take on a classic sound.Accessed from https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/811t8tV743L._SY355_.jpg

Feature Image

Save a Gandy Dancer Foundation

Well, we have exciting news for everyone! It’s been three months since The Clockwork Caterpillar has been put on sale. And we’ve got a special announcement for it. We’re discounting the digital copy of the story to $0.99! That’s right, just $0.99! It’s less than the price of coffee. I assume. I don’t actually know the price of coffee anymore. I walked into Starbucks once and now I’m on welfare.

The discount only lasts for two weeks, however, so don’t sleep on this once in at least three month deal! As an aside, two weeks is the exact same amount of time that I’ll be on vacation. So, unfortunately, this is the last you’ll hear of me until August. And then the International is happening so you’ll probably hear about that soon after. Hope you like your Dota 2 news!

Oh, I should also add that this discount is (to my knowledge) only available on Amazon. Both the American and Canadian site should have the discounted sale price. I’ll link them below for convenience:

 

All rights belong to Between The Covers Publishing

Here’s the lovely cover for The Clockwork Caterpillar. So cool!

Canada

America

Just to clarify, this is only for the digital version. The hard copy is still the original price. But hey, if you’re normally a page turning enthusiast but have recently been considering what all that back-lit screening fuss was all about, then now is the best time to try it out!

And for those who are going to or have already made a purchase of The Clockwork Caterpillar, perhaps I could convince you to just scribble a few of your thoughts on whatever platform you made the purchase? As a self-published author, it is hard to get exposure and the algorithms used to link customers with other products they like rely partly on customer feedback. You can be part of something big by helping to spread the word and start a movement over The Red Sabre series!

It’s like being your own digital pioneer! And there are even pirates to avoid in this cyberspace!

And just a final word of praise. I’ve really appreciated all the support and love from you guys for this release. It really means a lot to hear so many enjoying the tale of Felicity and her crew in the wild frontiers.

May your rails always be clear and profitable!

Feature Image

Look Who’s Back

So I have a friend and one of our favourite past times is to watch really bad movies. And when I say really bad, I mean Flash Gordon bad. A peruse of Netflix’s horror section will show a large list of things that’ll make you question why they were ever made. Yes, I contribute to the existence of the Sharknado series (even though we have yet to start it – beginning with the last and working our way back of course).

It’s our equivalent of “mindless entertainment” though mostly it’s revelling the sensation of confusion than anything else. And who knew there was such a large bafflement market?

Granted, a number of these movies are quite likely honest attempts at art which produced questionable results. The more earnest the creator, the more guilty the pleasure.

Thus, when my friend discovered a comedy about time-travelling Hitler who starts his own news program, we thought we were in for a treat.

What we didn’t expect was an actual good movie.

There is something to be said for foreign films and their liberty from the Hollywood blockbuster mould. That conversation can be saved for another day, however. But that German film isn’t as beholden to rigid American film standards certainly made Er ist wieder da a far better better experience than one that would be filmed in the oppressive heat of Los Angeles, California.

Accessed from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Look_Who%27s_Back_(film)

Er ist wieder da is based on the Timur Vermes novel of the same name. It is directed by David Wnendt and distributed by Constantin Film.

On it’s face, Er ist wieder da is a rather uninspiring film. Its premise is that Adolf Hitler (yes, the Adolf Hitler) is transported in time to a decided modern 2014 Berlin. It’s your typical “fish out of water” but with slapstick comedy towards the homicidal Fuhrer of history. When he first awakens, he discovers three youths playing soccer and earnestly asks them for directions to his Chancellery. The film is overlaid with Hitler’s internal monologue and at first he sees everything through his outdated viewpoint for comedic effect. The children are disappointingly useless. Hitler wanders towards Brandenburg Square only to be mobbed by a host of tourists wanting selfies with the tyrant. He eventually stumbles across a newsstand and, upon learning the actual date, passes out.

And here is where I need to discuss the film’s peculiar format. It’s really a movie about two stories. One focuses on a failing reporter (the one attempting to do a maudlin piece about inner city youths and their need for soccer as a coping mechanism to today’s hardships) who discovers Hitler and hatches a plan to use him as a means to upgrade his freelance work for a social media company to a full-time position. The other story is how modern Germans react to Hitler in their midst.

One of these stories is not like the other.

There’s a curious blend of fiction and reality traced throughout Er ist wieder da. Fabian Sawatzki (the reporter) mistakenly assumes that Hitler is just a very devoted method actor. Him and his bosses are more taken by Hitler’s dedication than his words and view him more as a joke or novelty than the villain of their history books. It really is just all fun and games with the politics at MyTV being the primary motivator for the different characters to continue to aid Hitler.

And this disbelief directly feeds into the second story.

While Hitler is being attended by the newsstand agent, he is told that his clothes are filthy and he should go get them cleaned. A flummoxed Hitler then enters into a dry cleaning service. It’s at this moment that the film gets strange.

The interaction between the clerk and Hitler is decided “off.” It’s a scene played for laughs – Hitler is determined to find a dry cleaner that will wash his undergarments – but there’s no denying the uncanny realisation that these clerks aren’t… well… actors. It becomes readily apparent that Er ist wieder da has adopted some of the Sasha Baron Cohen style satire wherein the filmmakers (ostensibly unwittingly) discuss and film real life people when one of the attendants looks directly at the cameraman as if to ask whether this is really happening.

But rather than dispel the meta-fiction of the movie and it’s premise, this splicing of real life scenes elevates Er ist wieder da from some overdone trite cliche into a rather disturbing and effective movie.

The change is grossly subtle and that is the point. Sawatzki drags his newfound Hitler about Germany like a show puppy on parade. They attempt some humorous news segments like Hitler commenting on the German coastline (before being hit by a storm) or trying to buy a puppy (which he promptly shoots for biting him). Sawatzki’s attempts to sell Hitler to his boss prompts another unscripted scene where Hitler offers to make them some money by falling back on his talents as a painter by doing (rather poor) caricatures of tourists in a German town square.

It should be no surprise that most people treat these interactions as a joke. Certainly it is unbelievable that Hitler could travel through time (even the fictional characters cannot believe it) so many tourists play along with the actors and laugh at Hitler’s comments about imprisoning vagabonds and breeding strong, pure Germans. It’s to Oliver Masucci’s credit that this film even works because he never once breaks his portrayal of Hitler. The audience may even be lulled into a sense of empathy as Sawatzki and Hitler are threatened in the town square by some rather irate looking locals about a Hitler “impersonator” and the inappropriateness of their publicity stunt.

But the filmmakers are unyielding in the message. Hitler’s commentary is crystal clear: he’s only returned to continue on with his original work. When Sawatzki hits a dead end with his variety type programming, Hitler suggests that they should do a series on political commentary. He then interviews a local foodstand owner to learn what issues she has with the government that are being ignored. She almost immediately leans into the problems of foreigners and Muslims, which Hitler is quite eager to seize upon and encourage.

It does not take long for his unscripted moments to change from slapstick laughter to horrified laughter. The audience is captive as Hitler begins stoking these angers and fears of everyday Germans. He sits down with prominent members of the community, saying that they need to purify Germany by expelling the foreign invaders or rounding them up into camps. And the people agree. One official, when asked if he would vote for Hitler should he run, even admitted that he would – only after asking that they turn the camera off (which the filmmakers do not).

But this isn’t the clumsy racist reveals of Cohen’s Borat character. Er ist wieder da is far more elegant in using this naked satire because of how blunt it truly is. There’s no ambiguity in the movie. People are talking to Hitler. And the more he talks, and the more they agree with him, the harder it is to ignore that this isn’t Hitler before them. The movie may have shown that Masucci isn’t a particularly accurate double of Hitler but his mannerisms, speech and positions are.  With a Sasha Baron Cohen film, people are interacting with caricatures that have no baggage and history. Borat is as much to the people as he is to Cohen: a coat to be adorn to parade around in a role but ultimately discarded. People’s racist or frightening beliefs can be dismissed as those getting “pranked” by the actor.

But not so with Er ist wieder da. Hitler is Hitler. We know what the conclusions of agreeing with him entail. We know the end results he’s striving for. There’s no amount of deception here. This is Hitler, scapegoating undesirable members of society and enlisting German support and affection in doing so.

And that’s what’s so terrifying about the movie. There has been a lot of discussion and other films that warn the factors of 1930’s Germany were hardly unique. Most people can, on some basic level, recognise that another Hitler could arise. But it’s a wholly different story to see it happen shamelessly before you.

The fictional story of Er ist wieder da proceeds as you’d expect it. The MyTV quickly becomes a platform to broadcast and expand Hitler’s reach in communicating with the people. His brash, anti-establishment stances garner a lot of support and applause. Youtubers create endless videos promoting Hitler’s words chasing after the high views and positive reception he garners. When footage of Hitler shooting the dog leaks, Hitler is only briefly waylaid. He’s fired from MyTV with the executive who never supported him taking over. Sawatzki takes Hitler in and Hitler turns to writing a book about his life and experiences while in modern Germany.

Mein Kaumpf 2.0 is, unsurprisingly, a hit that garners Sawatzki film rights to shoot the movie version. MyTV, now floundering without the success they had from Hitler, try desperately to get him back (going so far as to recreate the memetic scene from Downfall but showing the social media executive officer as Hitler). It’s only once Hitler meets the grandmother of Sawatzki’s girlfriend that Sawatzki starts to realize what is happening. The grandmother correctly identifies Hitler as who he is (the other characters dismissing it as her dementia) and Hitler himself is simply disappointed to learn that she was Jewish. He leans into his anti-Semitism and, as is unfortunately always the case, Sawatzki only then decides to look into Hitler’s background once someone he cares is hurt. It’s at that point that Sawatzki sees in his own filming that Hitler appeared at the site of his old bunker in a cloud of smoke and realizes that this man is the real article.

The movie, as you can probably predict now, ends on a rather low note. Sawatzki is imprisoned for his mad ravings. Hitler’s movie is a success, owing in part to the attack on him by neo-Nazis who think he’s being disrespectful to their idol. Course, as we saw in prior unscripted segments, real neo-Nazis are rather easily swooned by a strong arm figure and they quickly are wooed over to Hitler’s banner. Hitler takes to a ride around Berlin with his new publicist by his side (the prior disgraced executive of MyTV), ready to announce his intentions to enter the political sphere. As he drives by, the camera dutifully captures each Nazi salute as he passes.

Accessed from https://www.indiewire.com/2016/05/look-whos-back-how-a-german-comedy-about-hitler-predicted-donald-trump-288721/

Oliver Masucci delivers a stunning performance of Adolf Hitler that it’s hard not to point out both his skill and guts. I doubt I would enter a neo-Nazi clubhouse and accuse them all of doing a terrible job.

This movie, of course, isn’t saying that modern Germany but one step away from fascism and all its citizens are SS members in disguise awaiting the return of their glorious leader. Of course people think it’s a joke and not real. But the movie is very clear in that regard. Hitler starts off as a joke but the more people spread him and encourage him, it’s a very sudden turn until it stops being funny.

Thus, there is a conversation to be had about making comedy pieces about Hitler, Nazis and fascism. Charlie Chaplin famously said he would have never created The Great Dictator had he known about the concentration camps. I think Er ist wieder da rather straddles the line of that debate. It leverages its humour as a criticism against fascism while simultaneously acknowledging that such humour can normalise and assist those it’s meant to stop.

Er ist wieder da is, like a Sacha Baron Cohen piece, a weak test of modern society’s susceptibility to what we all know to be wrong. And, predictably, our society fails even the most rudimentary challenge. This isn’t an indictment of our modern institutions and beliefs. It’s a reminder. Social democracy wasn’t achieved through apathetic passivity. It was a struggle and fight to implement. It will always be a tenuous thing at best, irreparably flawed and prone to collapsing in on itself within the slightest moment of inattentiveness. It requires constant work to maintain.  We must be diligent and stand on guard against those that would do it revocable damage whether intentionally or not.

Feature Image

Clan Warfare

So, it’s been awhile. Kait and I have been very busy. Derek hasn’t been seen for years. Thus, our blog has sort of been neglected for a bit. For that, I am sorry. We’re working on something… that should be announced soon. Hopefully. It’s been taking a lot of time and we’re desperately short on that resource.

However, I have something to share today. If you’ve come for gaming news, you might have noticed that I talked quite a bit about Summoner Wars here. Well, for those not up-to-date, Summoner Wars is dead. The company that made it has retired the game after releasing the last second summoners for the factions that hadn’t received it. It was perhaps a touch bittersweet. I’ve been playing and thinking about Summoner Wars for a couple of years and now it is finished. The cards, of course, still exist and we can play it at any time but there’s something to be said for the excitement of new releases.

On the other hand, however, Summoner Wars had some issues which I’ve discussed. It was a flawed little gem. It was fun, different but held back by intrinsic design flaws that could never truly be designed around. In some sense, it was like Team Fortress 2.

Unlike Team Fortress 2, however, Plaid Hat Games has announced a sequel.

Alright, that’s a lie. Plaid Hat has done no such thing. But they have released a new game that contains a number of similarities that it’s hard to not draw a line between the two products. I’m talking about Crystal Clans and I’m excited to share some of my initial thoughts with you about the game.

Image accessed from https://www.plaidhatgames.com/games/crystal-clans

Crystal Clans and associated media belongs to Plaid Hat Games. You can check it out at their website, https://www.plaidhatgames.com/games/crystal-clans

Crystal Clans represents a first for me. It released in March and I’m talking about it in June! That has to be a record for relevancy from me. Typically I’m a year or more behind on the latest hotness. Three months makes me almost cutting edge! It’s also the first game I’ve purchased sight unseen. I typically like to try things before I buy them. I’m a cautious consumer and hate “wasting money.” Anything I get needs to be used enough for the purchase to be worthwhile. So if it’s something that isn’t enjoyable I’ll still feel a compulsion to play it.

Which makes things difficult if the game is two player.

I had been meaning to hit up a boardgame cafe and try Crystal Clans. I was eager about it when Plaid Hat announced it almost a year ago. Unfortunately, there’s been very little floating around after its release so I was a touch nervous committing to my purchase. But I recently bit the bullet and here we are.

Consequently, I haven’t put enough time into the game to provide a proper review. You’ll have to wait for that whether you want it or not. What I can do is talk about my initial reactions and feelings. Because those are valuable, right?

Let’s start off with a general overview. Crystal Clans is a competitive two player battle card game that involves moving your cards across a board. Each deck represents a unique clan with their own heroes and units. Sounds familiar right? Crystal Clan’s relationship to Summoner Wars is both a blessing and a curse. It offers a level of familiarity that puts off those originally unsatisfied by the predecessor and lures in those that wanted a bit more of the same.

However, outside of its superficial qualities, Crystal Clans is very much its own game.

For one, there is no enemy summoner. In Summoner Wars, the game was one only once the commander of your opponent’s army was killed. In Crystal Clans, you are fighting with your opponent over the game’s namesake. There’s a dozen or so crystal cards (sorry, I don’t actually have the game beside me and I’m too lazy to get up and count them) that form a deck, three of which are ever available for acquiring. To get these crystals, you must march your little armies out and hold two of three special crystal spots on the board, king-of-the-hill style.

And when I say army, I don’t mean some strange metaphorical extraction of game pieces into a fantastical representation. You can literally stack three of your units into one cohesive force. This adds their defence and attack together, while also slowing the battalion down by the most sluggish unit amongst the lot. However, only the top card of the stack benefits from its unique ability (generally speaking). Thus, there’s some strategy to how you organize your units. For example, if you’re the Meteor clan, you probably want your Titan Knights leading charges across the battlefield because they reduce the activation cost of your battalion while they lead. But once you reach the frontlines, you want to swap things around so that your Citadel Knights benefit from both their tactical expertise and allow you to trigger the clans unique ability, Prediction.

But it’s not just stacking your units that is a massive departure from the Summoner Wars formula. Your deck is only composed of units. There are no events in this game so everything can be thrown on the board. There’s also no dice. This may seem like combat is a boring deterministic affair where the person who draws the best squad first wins. However, when two armies meet, both players must play one card from their hand (or their deck if they are unfortunate enough to have no hand). These units now act as battle cards and each unit in your deck has different effects depending on the relationship of the symbols played between you and your opponent.

There are three types of battle cards. I don’t really care what Plaid Hat calls them, they’re the Bull, Turtle and Fox. Generally speaking, Bull battle cards add attack to your squad. Turtle adds defence to your squad. Fox does random things. But there’s more interaction between these types for each battle card has two effects whether its played against its antagonist symbol or not. One effect is typically stronger than the other. Bull (attack) beats Turtle (defence). Turtle (defence) beats Fox (random). And finally, Fox (random) beats Bull (attack).

It’s an interesting sort of guessing game wherein you’re trying to either wipe out your opponent or save your stack while figuring out what your opponent is going to play. There’s an emphasis here on attack that makes exchanges generally a bloody affair. There’s a reason for this: it makes the game all about the cost of exchanges.

For there’s a very interesting mechanic that separates Crystal Clans not just from Summoner Wars but most other games I’ve ever played. The economy of Crystal Clans is built and played out by a shared initiative track. Whenever you summon a unit, you pushed the little crystal down the track towards your opponent. Once it passes a neutral band, your turn ends and your opponent’s begins. It’s a fascinating exchange wherein the more you spend, the more you give your nemesis. Expensive turns produce explosive counter plays. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that conservative play will rule. The specialized design of the clans means some benefit from rushing while others want to slow down and grind things out. Furthermore, crystal scores are highly expensive acts, costing upwards of eight or nine initiative to snag a crystal. Lastly, ignoring crystals and constantly butting heads means you’ll eventually run out of your deck. When that occurs, you shuffle your discard and make a new draw deck but your opponent gets a free crystal without needing to pay or control two zones.

Image accessed from https://www.plaidhatgames.com/games/crystal-clans

The Crystal Clans board is significantly smaller than the Summoner Wars board. While I was initially skeptical, I actually have no complaints with the cramped playing field at this time.

And every action costs you. You want to draw cards? That’s three initiative. Want to move your units. Depending on your battalion, that’s one to three initiative. Attacking requires spending initiative (unless you perform it at the end of a move). You can also force your opponent to discard cards if you control their home zone but this action also costs you three initiative.

There’s a strange flow in this initiative passing that I haven’t quite wrapped my head around. Intuitively, it makes sense to try and leave your opponent with as little initiative as possible. But sometimes a large summon can force your enemy to spend more to respond to it. In fact, because drawing cards requires spending initiative, I feel that the game is less about favourable economic exchanges in terms of summon costs but more about economic exchanges in terms of card usage. If you can win a battle using two units to your opponent’s three, then you can force them to draw more than you. Do that enough times and they’ll run out of deck and you’ll get a free crystal.

Alternatively, if you score three crystals, then you effective put your opponent on a timer. If they run out of deck, you’ll automatically win when they have to reshuffle and claim the fourth and final required crystal. There’s a tempo here that’ll take time to understand and utilize and it’s one of the things that leaves me most excited for Crystal Clans.

As I’ve said, Kait and I have only just begun to play the game. Of all the changes to the Summoner Wars formula, I feel the biggest is in Crystal Clan’s simplicity. Summoner Wars struggled with some fairly counter intuitive mechanics and play elements like killing your own units for economy and the dangers of crossing the middle line due to reinforcement and board control based on wall plays. In this regard, Crystal Clans makes sense. You want to rush your units out and claim those crystal zones. You want to win battles. You want to beat your opponent’s units. The hardest thing to grapple, outside of learning the strengths and weaknesses of six fairly unique decks, is figuring out when to do these. Winning a big battle and taking board control is great but if you score a crystal without a hand, you could open yourself up to a rather brutal counter attack as you have no control over your battle card plays. Learning when to discard cards in your hand, when to replenish, when to push and when to score definitely takes some time.

I’m happy to say, however, that the game doesn’t feel as unfair. Without dice, there’s always a sense that you could have done something else to take back the match. There’s still some element of luck. You can’t control what crystals are available for claiming. You can’t control what order your cards come up in your draw pile. But really outside of that, it’s all on you. And at least for now, it feels a lot more fair.

Hopefully later I’ll be able to go into more detail about the clans, once I have more experience playing with them. But I’m excited that I could spend a whole post just talking about the mechanics without any mention of all the unique cards or the clans special mechanics. Each one changes a fundamental aspect of the game and while some are certainly far better than others, that they give each clan an identity is great design.

Plus, Plaid Hat Games has announced six new clans to be released at a future date so there will be plenty more Crystal Clans to discuss in the months to come!

Feature Image

How to Write: Lesson 6

Accessed from http://www.wga.hu/index1.html

Oriental Writer Cutting His Pen by Benjamin Gerritsz Cuyp (1640).

Well here is a blast from the past.

I haven’t written in the series for awhile. Sorry for anyone who has been following intently on my advice. It’s a good thing that this isn’t a university course. On the other hand, you get what you pay for.

I’m not certain where we left off in my advice for young writers. But I want to address something a little less concrete today. For this How to, I’m going to talk about something a little more personal.

Today’s How to will be all about discovering your voice.

I’m going to be perfectly honest here and tell you the inspiration for this post came from my current project. As of this writing, I’ve been going through a number of my prior works and in looking them over I started to notice a few common threads. There’s a shared tone and theme across a number of my stories and this reflects on me as a writer. It’s the sort of thing that you discuss in English class over long dead artists and it was a little strange to analyse my own work, even as fleeting an analysis as it was.

My first reaction was to think that maybe I was being a bit stale. But on further reflection I realised that this is what I offered as a writer. We all have our own unique perspectives and experiences. This helps shape us as individuals and provides that intangible quality as artists which separates us as writers. My interests are not the same as Georgette Harriet and, consequently, my stories are nothing like hers. Which is good, of course. We wouldn’t want all our artists to be the same, now would we.

But voice isn’t just a difference in content but also how one approaches it. I strive to tell something with my stories. These aren’t just little tales of fantastical worlds. Personally, I like to create strong characters who come across as believable. This often means presenting flawed individuals with perspectives that I often don’t share. It’s creating characters who are both honourable and ignoble while presenting them in situations that are rarely clear cut. It’s this struggle in morally grey situations with imperfect individuals that really intrigues me. The most I can do is hope that others are interested in those kinds of situations as well. From a business perspective, this helps define my niche and allow greater levels of discover-ability amongst content distribution platforms.

Or something. We’re still working out the marketing angle.

At any rate, I feel it’s important to find and hone your voice as a writer. Unfortunately, while a technical skill, this isn’t an easy one to develop. I think the first thing to do when trying to find your voice is to practice some mindfulness. Look at your own work. What is it that you like to write? What are commonalities amongst your characters or plots? Are you someone who likes to explore society’s outcasts? Perhaps you’re more intrigued by individuals who are torn between dualities like the expectations of their positions against their personal desires or morals. Maybe you’re a big fan of the underdogs who triumph over impossible odds and insurmountable opposition.

Perhaps, however, you’re not certain your stories share any elements. You can always examine your favourite stories or art by other artists. Think about what it is about their work that inspires or draws you to their words. Applying a critical eye to your own entertainment consumption can help with your writing.

Course, just identifying what you like doesn’t mean you’ve got a handle on your voice. You’ve done the groundwork but honing this into an effective portion of your writing will take more effort. Gathering information is an important step but now you need to apply it effectively. First, finding shared interests in your work and your favourite writers can simply lead to copying if you don’t take your interests into a new direction. Copying effective techniques from successful writers is good for honing skills but not great for sharpening your voice.

You need to take your interests and explore them. This should, in theory, be the easy part. Or at least it should be an enjoyable part because you’re examining things you naturally like. This is where your own personal experiences can help and the old adage “Write what you know” is truly applicable. Personally, I try to explore these story elements that I enjoy in as many different ways that I can. Just because I like a certain characteristic in my heroes doesn’t mean I can’t look at whether these attributes are inherently good. I can cast characters that I normally like in a negative light. I can change their situation or background and find if it has appreciable changes. There’s some usefulness in learning that characters operate the same in different circumstances. But if you like a certain theme, like the success of underdogs, then you can also try playing with that theme in ways you haven’t seen or tried before. Perhaps make your villains the underdogs or come up with stories wherein the underdog protagonists aren’t necessarily so clear cut in the right.

Small variations on themes can lead to quite a bit of variety. And while you practice and explore these similar characters and themes you start to find more effective ways of communicating them. Writing is an iterative process so the more you focus and rework a similar vein, the stronger and more efficient you become on it. And since these are all things you naturally enjoy, your enthusiasm and enjoyment can keep you focused and on track whenever you run up against adversity.

So, to find your voice you must first fine what you like. Look at your old work and identify commonalities. Pay attention when reading others about what naturally draws you to certain themes and attributes. Then practice, practice, practice. Your work will take on a life and identity of your own. You will find your voice.

Feature Image

Clockwork Caterpillar Audiobook!

All rights belong to Between The Covers Publishing

Here’s the lovely cover for The Clockwork Caterpillar. So cool!

Alright, I’ll admit this is a misleading title but I’m just so excited to share some news with everyone. First, it’s May which means my month of crazy writing is over! As such, hopefully my posts can be a bit more regular. Sorry for the inconsistencies.

Second, we have some more great news concerning our latest release The Clockwork Caterpillar! If you’re a fan of Concerned Newscaster #1 in this Stellaris’ trailer for Apocalypse then you’ll be excited to know we’ve snagged the incredibly talented and immensely charismatic Felicia Valenti to read the first chapter! It’s broken into three parts and available on our Youtube channel.

Yes, we have a Youtube channel! Tell your friends. Tell your relatives. Tell your friends’ relatives! We’ve loaded it up with a bunch of free content so you can enjoy the world of Athemisia and see all the colourful characters fighting on the rugged frontier.

You can find the first part of our pseudo-audiobook-but-not-really-we-wish-we-had-more-money right here!

So, yeah, that’s the news. I’m sure we’ll have some more rants, raves and rambles coming up in the coming weeks so thanks for staying tuned. And if you’d like to hear more from Felicia Valenti you can check out her Youtube channel here as well. She has video game covers and she’s been in a podcast for indie game development in Toronto and could very well be in an upcoming video game coming to stores near you!

Feature Image

Clockwork Caterpillar Chapter 1 – Part 2

My second novel, The Clockwork Caterpillar, should have released by now. Links to the digital copies on Amazon can be followed here and the digital Kobo link can be found here. Last week I posted the first half of the first chapter. Here’s the second part. The rest can be found in the book itself! Hope you enjoy.

All rights belong to Between The Covers Publishing

Here’s the lovely cover for The Clockwork Caterpillar. So cool!

* * *

There was the briefest of hesitations: enough pause to make her rebelliousness known. But the weapon dropped nonetheless.

In one quick motion, Hopkins’ boot sent the weapon tumbling over the edge of the bridge into the great beyond.

Felicity cried out, making a useless grab. As she shifted her weight, Hopkins struck her back, sprawling her across the bridge as her hat tumbled loose. She coughed and groaned as he hunched over her.

“You see, life out on the frontier ain’t a simple thing. Some men got to do what they got to do. You take some jobs other folk ain’t. You get a name that some ain’t like. But as I tell you, you live and better than the rest. That’s all that matters.”

He grabbed her by her hair, pulling her to her feet with a yelp.

“And sometimes you get some blood on your hands. But this land ain’t for the weak. Take a look on them hills. They’ve been bathed in the stuff. Always been since them savages learned two stones smashed against each other creates an edge that could paint in crimson. You either fight and live or you get put into the ground to pay the earth her due.”

He pulled her to the bridge’s side, forcing her upon its razor edge. Her arms flailed, fingertips clutching for ribbed steel. He held her tight by her knot; her head pulled uncomfortably back. Her eyes could only see the top of the canyon. Its dark line wound as far as the eye could grasp.

“You can hear the groans of all them stiffs. First was them savages with their constant fighting and hollering. Then them kuli’s in those junks they sailed across the waters with long nails and shaved tails like rats fleeing a sunk ship. Got them cities digging right into the coast all the way up to the mountains. Been nothing but sieged for generations.

“This land is a harsh one.”

He pulled her back, throwing her to the bridge’s planks. He stood over her like a rancher evaluating a lame mule. He half-smiled, watching her fingers tighten around the boards. But she did not move as he crouched.

She coughed and he turned his head, losing her words in the distant cry of an eagle.

“Hunter’s on the wing,” he grinned, reaching down and grasping her chin. He turned her face to look in her eyes, noting with amusement the fierce glare. “So what were them pretty last words you wanted?”

“Should have come willingly.”

He raised a hand to strike her, but thunder cracked against the canyon walls. Hopkins turned to the sky, searching for the phantom storm, but a clatter off his shoulder pulled his attention. One of the barrels landed upon its side, rolled along the wood and bounced against the discarded tools. Hopkins spun to his feet, taking a step towards the wayward vessel while berating its clumsy handler.

Just as unexpectedly as the barrel’s descent, the ruffian fell to the ground. Unlike his parcel, he didn’t move as a dark pool stained his shirt.

Hopkins’ strangled criticism drowned in a second sharp clap.

“Sharpshooter!”

The warning worked its way down the line as bodies dropped behind what cover they could. Eyes scanned the skyline, searching the craggy sides around them for the source. Hopkins dropped to the planks of the bridge, but as he fumbled his revolver, Felicity scampered to her hands and knees. She snatched her hat, fitting it squarely on her head.

“Kill her, fools!”

But the gunmen were slow in loosening their shots. She leaped over a pile of iron girders, pressing tightly against their backsides. The metal sang with the ricochet of bullets. One wayward shot struck the barrel Hopkins had saved and he felt his heart still.

“Stop! Idiots! You’ll hit the kegs!”

It took a few seconds for his order to carry. That floppy hat poked from its cover and regarded both Hopkins and his escort with equal disdain. Hopkins slipped away from its side least another stray shot catch it. He noticed the barrel’s lid had slipped loose. A thin line of black powder traced back to the body of its fallen owner.

A sullen silence filled the bridge.

“So what’s the plan, Hopkins?” Felicity called, her voice ringing clear in the respite. “Things be a little dire unless you’re going for a final stand.”

Her head poked again and the outlaw’s pistol fired. But the shot was off the mark. Hopkins lay on his stomach, hand still shaking with the thought of that barrel exploding. He turned like an engorged snake, inching towards his steed standing obediently at the edge of the bridge. If he could get mounted, surely he could seek escape along the old mule trail into the canyon and away from the sharpshooter’s angle.

But before he could get far, the sound of iron shoes striking wood drew his gaze. All eyes on the bridge turned to its far side. A rider bounded towards them without a single shot to greet him. None dared their cover least they invoke the sky’s wrath by providing a clear line.

The stallion drew upon them with flanks glistening from sweat and exhaustion. Upon the back was a hunched young man as ridiculous as he was stylish. His hair was slicked and immaculately placed. A crisp suit with full breast pockets, polished shoes and a high banded collar clasped about his slender frame and was tailored professionally to his cut. Aside from the light dusting, the clothes were peculiarly clean compared to the rest of the bridge’s visitors. His was a guise more fitting the busy streets of old Rhea Silvia than the rough plains of the frontier. It was as if the Lord had plucked him from across the ocean and dropped him at the very edge of the wastes.

Hopkins leveraged his pistol and released a preemptive shot, dispelling the paralysis holding fast his compatriots.

At such a distance, the shot was too wide, but it served as the vanguard of an entire swarm. The horse cried, kicking at one shot that found mark in its flank. It bucked and knocked its rider free. Frightened and directionless, the beast made the only sensible decision and fled. Its owner scrambled for cover behind the scattered rubbish.

“What are you doing?!” Felicity called.

Crawling on all fours, the gentleman dodged and wove amongst the barrels and wood piles.

“Reinforcing! It appears your lovely self is in quite a bind.”

There was no telling how many of her men remained. Hopkins abandoned all subtlety, emptying chambers to cover his escape.

“Toss me your pistol!” Felicity cried.

“Where’s yours?”

“It got misplaced.”

“Misplaced? After all of your lecturing?”

“Schroeder!”

Her tone was weapon enough and Hopkins pressed up against a thick girder fearing a discharge. He waved for his hands to move and flank them. But the craven snakes shook their heads, hunkering further within their cover despite their clear advantage in numbers.

Hopkins shouted at the closest spring calf and when his head shook a second time in defiance, Hopkins deposited a lead ball in his brainpan as payment.

“Kill her!” Hopkins scream. “Or I’ll kill you!”

There was reservation as the outlaws debated between the untamed they knew and the ones they didn’t amongst the rocks.

A pistol tumbled through the air and bounced, twirling along the planks until it came to an abrupt stop well short of Felicity’s position.

“You throw like a girl.”

“But I love like a man!”

Hopkins raised his jittering firearm towards the lonely weapon. This was an opening. If she stepped out to retrieve it, he could strike her down. He followed the slow inch of her wide hat as it worked along the beams. Then, a large hand reached out and he squinted in concentration. He squeezed, trying to keep the shaking of his arm from reaching his fingers.

The shot missed, but the arm retreated.

“I hope you are satisfied.”

“I’d rather Pacal.”

“My captain, you wound me!”

“At least he can throw!”

It happened before Hopkins expected. From the newcomer’s cover flew a hammer, catching the stranded pistol and sending both skittering to Felicity’s waiting arms.

There was no hesitation.

Felicity dashed to the fallen barrel, popping out the chamber and removing the bullet. Hopkins raised his pistol for a second shot, but the woman kicked the barrel away. It tumbled across his sight.

She fell to the ground but not from a strike. She held the cocked hammer close to the stretching black line of powder and pulled the trigger.

The spark was so brief as to be almost invisible. The flame from the discharge ate the powder greedily, rushing up its twisting path like a frenzied lizard. It popped and hissed as its rolling parent fed it a direct course to the huddled gunmen.

Hopkins’ heart stopped as he saw her game. He flew from his cover—the sharpshooter be damned. Little else pressed upon his mind as he scrambled for the horse. Others shouted and ran. Most were too late.

They fell like pegs hammered into the rail by a grand, unseen hammer. Those that weren’t struck down were caught in the blast.

The explosion was spectacular. A great geyser of splintered and burning wood mixed with charred metals into a hailstorm of deadly debris. The force of the blast knocked those closest to the ground and sent Hopkins tumbling roughly into wood and dirt. He coughed, gasping for the air pounded from his lungs. He looked towards the bridge.

The planks burned fiercely and the steel shook and groaned. Burning wreckage fell like the Lord’s divine wrath. Some of those fiery pieces caught other barrels.

The fireball was spectacular. Metal girders bent before its majesty. The bridge twisted like a loosened rope. Its death rattle shook the canyon itself. The fate of the Glorious Belt Bridge was sealed. Like lips of a parting mouth, the structure peeled back to reveal the gaping maw of the canyon’s throat. Greedily it drank the wreckage, swallowing whole tools, towers, supports and bodies indiscriminately.

Hopkins scrambled to shaking feet as the floor beneath him buckled. He lurched forward, tossing any useless fool who fell across his path backwards into the abyss. He heard the pitying cries of his horse and he made for it with single-mindedness.

The woman’s shout followed his heels.

“Schroeder!”

He dared a glance. Dislodged steel beams tumbled across the collapsing surface, striking those clinging against boards tilting at unnatural angles. The supports gave out in rapid succession and the well-dressed man stumbled in his attempts to keep pace with the woman. He fell and she stopped to grab him as both bodies threatened to spill over the edge.

It would be the perfect shot. Hopkins paused, looking between the horse and the hunter. He could plant a bullet right between her shoulders and be done with them both. The survivors of his gang ignored the vulnerable pair, tripping over themselves as they sought firm footing. Hopkins raised his gun, tasting blood on his lip.

But he felt the earth shudder beneath his feet and his eyes carried across the widening gap between him and his promise of pay. He shoved his pistol into its holster and ran for the sure deal.

His horse was stamping madly but, mercifully, had not taken flight. He grabbed her reins, shouting obscenities as he pulled harsh on her head to reestablish dominance. He was just checking the latches on the saddle to ensure they had not shaken loose in her frenzy when he heard the crunching of gravel.

He caught a flash of brown coat and floppy hat before the woman was upon him.

His fingers instinctively wrapped about the handle of his pistol. But the collision with the ground jolted the weapon from his grasp as the two bodies entwined in the dirt. He struck with boots and she lashed with knees and elbows. He managed to plant a solid kick to her side. She was knocked from him. He crawled through the dust, snatching up his pistol.

She struck like lightning as he turned. The trigger squeezed and the muzzle spat. Felicity grunted as the bullet caught her leg. But her assault continued unimpeded. Fists lashed. She struck again and again. Each knuckle was like a jagged rock pulverizing Hopkins flesh. Her hand gripped his in a struggle for the firearm. In the contest, the weapon spat and Hopkins shrieked as the stray shot tore his shoulder. With his strength sapped, Felicity tore the gun from him. Her punches didn’t abate, however. One strike caught his jaw and his head snapped back, meeting the earth in a shattering impact. He cried. His arms raised uselessly to stem the onslaught.

“Clemency, I beg of you!”

Miraculously, it was granted. Felicity stood, grabbing his fallen pistol. Hopkins’ face was a burning storm of pain and heat. He felt thick liquid upon his skin and reached fingers to a nose that bleed profusely. Numerous cuts oozed hot sanguine over his swelling bruises.

“Stand.”

He simpered. The toe of her boot pressed against his chest as air fled him.

“Not so pleasant, ain’t it?” she asked while he wheezed. “To think all them folk you saw fit to string or worse. It will be more than a pleasure to watch you dance before the noose, you pathetic pond-sucking parasite. Now stand!”

Hopkins sobbed as he lifted to one knee. Felicity’s command grew more stern, but he only shook his head.

“Stand!”

“I can’t!”

Great unseen fingers wrapped about his torso as Hopkins was lifted effortlessly upright. He stumbled. Turning, he found a massive specimen of a man wrapped in thick muscles beneath a wide, golden frame barely contained within worn clothes. But though his dress lacked remarkability itself, he was bedecked in odd adornments. Around his wrists and ankles were thick roped bracers, a trio of deep purple feathers covering their length. The tendons of his hands were highlighted with bright ink running along his knuckles and well beneath his sleeves. A clatter of polished green rocks etched in the shape of round, stylistic faces jangled from his neck. Each head was deformed with massive tongues, large ears or great almond eyes. A strange mantle rested about his shoulders fashioned from brightly dyed cloths woven into intoxicating patterns and fringed with tattered coloured feathers.

And over one shoulder was slung a marksman’s rifle.

“Baax ka waalik, captain. Fine day for catch.”

Felicity smiled at the southerner.

“Fine shooting, Pacal. Couldn’t help notice you shaving things awful close.”

“Forgiveness, captain. Had to pay Kukulcan respects. But you Zaccimi touch.”

She looked at her leg and the wound which spat blood. She shook her head.

“I’ll be fine. Best see to Schroeder, though.”

“I shall yet live!” Only now did Hopkins see the suited man seated upon the brink of the new precipice, nursing his ankle while looking thoroughly less respectable than when he arrived. “But your sun will not visit anywhere it has not travelled already. How about we get these two back to the surgeon and see if we cannot postpone their visit to the Lord’s gate for another day.”

“Ain’t hardly nothing,” Felicity protested. “T’was you who nearly died in that explosion!”

“You have your story, captain, and I have mine.”

“Should have let you drop.”

“And lose a visage like this?” Schroeder smiled. “I believe there is scarcely a replacement in all of Athemisa or beyond.”

“Surely, the Graces would weep,” Felicity sighed. She turned to Hopkins, pulling loose a knotted handkerchief. “Now if you don’t mind rightly, I’m going to need to ensure you don’t try biting off your tongue and choking to death before we get you back all nice and sorted.”