Author Archives: Kevin McFadyen

About Kevin McFadyen

Kevin McFadyen is a world traveller, a poor eater, a happy napper and occasional writer. When not typing frivolously on a keyboard, he is forcing Kait to jump endlessly on her bum knees or attempting to sabotage Derek in the latest boardgame. He prefers Earl Gray to English Breakfast but has been considering whether or not he should adopt a crippling addiction to coffee instead. Happy now, Derek?

Balls – Part 5 of 8

< Return to Balls Part 4

Now that I’m feeling better I can proudly return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

—————Break —————

Derrek woke with a groan. Pushing his mind through the haze of unconsciousness, he remembered a warning and immediately reached for his crotch. He sighed with relief as everything was accounted for.
A laugh caused him to roll painfully upon his side.
A lone candle sat in a twisted metal stand, casting soft light upon a figure sitting in a worn chair. A large cat was stretched across the lap with a single, languid hand brushing up and down its fur. The face, half cast in shadow, watched him closely with one eye.
“You have no fear of that from me.”
Derrek reached his hand to his forehead, pressing against the burning pain in his skull.
“You are quite fortunate you found me in time,” his benefactor continued. “The poison had done a number on your system.”
“Poison?”
“But I am most curious how it is you found me.”
His watcher leaned curiously forward, the cat springing from her perch to gaze up at Derrek with expecting eyes.
“I think I’m having one of those days,” Derrek said. Suddenly, he sat erect, as the memories began to come back to him. “What time is it?”
“Well past noon. Why?”
“I still have to register!” Derrek cried, jumping to his feet. He felt weak, like he had been tossed down an endless staircase, but he he couldn’t let his exhaustion stop him now.
“Registered for what?”
“The Challenge,” Derrek said. “I can’t explain, Dian. I must go.”
“I don’t know who you angered, but it is not safe out there.”
Derrek looked about for his missing lute.
“The hat.”
“Hat?”
He found it leaning against the wall and quickly reclaimed it. He tested a few of the strings before turning the instrument over in his hands.
“That’s how I found you. One of your men wore a Colvian hat.”
Dian’s head shook with confusion.
“I do not understand. How did that tell you he was with me?”
“Is not your favourite dish Colvian roasted pheasant?”
“Well… yes, but…”
“And he worked for you,” Derrek said with a shrug. He wasn’t entirely sure what Dian was struggling with as it seemed so obvious to him. He searched about for an exit, heading quickly towards the thin shafts of light he assumed outlined a door in the gloom.
“Why did you come looking for me?” Dian asked, getting out of the chair. Dian moved quickly after Derrek, wedging a light frame draped in modest clothes of a simple northern peasant between Derrek and the door.
“Well, who else do I know that could remedy me?”
“You knew you were poisoned?”
“I couldn’t be hung over.”
Dian’s head shook.
“You are making no damnable sense. What is all this about?”
“The Challenge. And if I don’t get myself registered then Alec is going to win. I can’t explain more.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t understand it yet.”
Dian just sighed with resignation.
“Very well, go get your registration. But know that I will have someone keep an eye on you. It is plain to me that trouble dogs your path.”
“It can’t be too bad,” Derrek said, pausing as he rested his hand upon the door handle. “If they wanted me dead, they would have killed me by now.”
“And who would that be?”
“Still working on that.”
He pushed his way out of the cellar and back into daylight. He could hear the shouting of the hawkers and the buyers echoing down the streets. With a clearer head, he quickly gathered his bearings and made straight for the College of Bards.
He had better recollections of his night. He remembered Mikael’s betrayal and Mairen’s threat. He wasn’t entirely sure how that had ended but no doubt it was them that had him drugged. But that didn’t explain why Alec Carver had ransacked his room, assuming it was Carver which the inn’s Matron referred to as the fat man.
Nor did it explain why all three of them were conspiring to keep him from the Challenge. But there was no doubt that was their ultimate aim. That assurance led speed to his feet as he made his way towards the College.
As Derrek hurried, he couldn’t help but feel a presence following him. It was an unmistakeable sensation, like the soft crawling of cold fingers down one’s neck. Derrek didn’t question these instinctual feelings. If there was one thing the College had taught him it was that a man must always be open to inspiration from his muse. Derrek’s had more a penchant for discerning danger than creative inspiration, but one couldn’t really choose the creative spirit that answered you.
Derrek paused before an armour stall, pretending to peruse the inventory. Specifically, he started examining the shields. He held one after the other overhead, turning it slowly in his hands. After a few seconds of inspection, he would drop one and turn to the next. The merchant made to help him, but Derrek ignored him, picking through shield after shield until he found the one with the greatest sheen.
He then held it aloft, turning it until he could pinpoint the presence stalking his tail.
To his surprise, he caught the reflection of a big, fat black cat.
“That’s who Dian sent to keep me safe?” Derrek wondered.
He returned the shield and continued on his march.
The College of Bards was a rather grandiose structure. It had a single grand tower rising majestically into the air surrounded by the main building and the adjoining bunk houses. Though mostly constructed of imported wood and quarried stone, it was quite clear the original design had been to evoke the grand view of a cathedral. Since few churches or temples had the opportunity to be built in Etreria, the College sought to beat the monks to having the most visually impressive home. Probably so they could claim the monks copied the bards.
The College was a remarkably busy institute. It seemed almost every young girl and boy dreamed of being a successful minstrel. More were drawn with the dreams of being great performers and of illustrious careers in the playhouses and upon the stage. The reality was far harsher. Very few troupes ever achieved great renown and it would be the fortunate graduate who found work remotely related to their studies.
But it was also a curious institute on its own. Derrek believed that you really couldn’t teach talent. Either a person was followed by a muse or they were not. There were no classes that could compensate for that creative force. And those that attempted to fake it produced the most derivative work.
For those blessed with a creative spirit, the College served a much more important function. It allowed the aspiring minstrel or storyteller to forge important bonds and networks with the most influential individuals. Most two bit copper establishments would hire anyone that could squawk a familiar canto or produce a dodgy haiku on the spot. But to see the inside of the grandest theatres took real reputation. The Seeker title bypassed all that and gave one entertainer a free ride to the big leagues.
To be barred from the institute was perhaps the greatest sabotage a rival entertainer could perform. Especially since non-members were unable to register for the Challenge.
There was a small booth erected at the gate. A tired looking secretary sat within, an enormous stack of registration papers by her side. She thumbed a large pair of gilded eyeglasses while she watched each passer by warily.
As Derrek approached, she slipped her glasses over her nose and regarded the man coolly. She gazed behind him then bolted upright, leaning out the front of her booth and waving her hands.
“Is that cat yours?” she called. Derrek looked back at the well fed feline.
“No, it’s not mine.”
“I would hope not. Unsanctioned use of magic is strictly forbidden on College grounds!”
She unlatched the door from inside her booth and stomped around, shooing the creature away.
 The cat mere fell back on its haunches, its fur standing up on end. It opened its mouth, hissing loudly and swiping its paws as the woman drew near. As the woman stomped closer, her hands waving madly, the cat retreated hesitantly – obviously reluctant to leave Derrek’s shadow.
It seemed odd to Derrek that Dian would have the cat enchanted. It didn’t seem in character for Dian to purchase such frivolous expenditures, especially for someone running one of the roughest gangs in the shadows of Etreria.
It also struck Derrek as a rather poor time for the woman to leave her booth unattended. While distracted, Derrek walked up to the woman’s papers, looking over the sheets with interest. One pile was filled will all the accepted applicants and the other contained emptied forms.
With deft hands, Derrek snatched the quill, dipping it in the ink and selecting the easiest filled form to forge.
All he had to do was change the name of the applicant and cover the telling marks with flowery script.
He briefly considered the injustice that Dirrac Gilimari was about to face but was consoled with the fact that, had he been more clever, he would have done this to enter himself rather than rely on the handouts of his family or the College sponsorship. After all, what was a minstrel if he didn’t display some amount of ingenuity?

With sheet filled and filed, Derrek watched the woman chase the feline further away before turning towards the grand hall. He twisted the lute in his hands, played a few encouraging chords, then set about searching for the spot where the competitors were arranged to meet.

Continue to Balls Part 6 >

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Balls – Part 4 of 8

< Return to Balls Part 3

The ever continuing adventures of our fearless bard commence once more!

—————Break —————

           Derrek woke with a start. He could still hear the echoing threat ringing in his head. Immediately he reached for his crotch, sighing with relief to know everything was accounted for. He then looked around, curious to find himself in a familiar tiny room.
           The rafters slanted overhead, the beams musty with the smell of mildew and age. A small wardrobe had been placed near the door just below the steps leading to the alcove that contained the bed. A writing table was directly across from the wardrobe.
However, his papers were not stacked neatly upon them. Instead, his supplies had been violently scattered across the floor. Dried ink ran down the long leg of the desk and fragments of ceramic told of the containers last moments. All his papers had been thrown about, caught in a small whirlwind that materialized with the apparent intent to destroy his stuff. The wardrobe doors were pulled open and clothes thrown forth as if the cabinetry had vomited them out.
Derrek pushed himself till he sat on his bed. Then he quickly clutched his head as the room began to swirl in his vision. He felt like he was free falling through the air and the walls were spinning like a child’s top. Strings of pain laced across his brain. He immediately felt like lying down again.
“Is this what it feels to be hung over?”
Derrek was not a stranger to liquor but possessed the enviable knack for never suffering from his drinking the morning after. It didn’t matter how much or little he consumed, he always woke bright and cheerful with the start of each new day.
This day, however, was far too different. He stomach seemed to flop within him like a beached fish squirming with its last strength for the safety of water. His body was sluggish and unresponsive, as if his thoughts were unable to make the journey to his limbs.
He turned to the window, immediately regretting the action as sharp pain responded to the blast of light filtering through the torn curtains. He immediately collapsed against his moth eaten pillow, seeking refuge beneath its stained comfort.
What had happened last night?
It felt like a bad dream and nothing was distinct. He remembered being surrounded by half naked men, really disappointing wine and some questionable acting. There was something else that skittered just at the forefront of recollection. A recognizable voice that made him think peculiarly of spoiled fish.
Also, there was something about orbs. Something that seemed important enough to warrant further investigation.
Ignoring the pounding of his head, Derrek tumbled from the twisted embrace of his blanket, crawling pitifully along the floor until he found some trousers and a decent tunic. Most his other clothes appeared in too disrepair, either torn and covered in dirt and ink, to be wearable.
He pulled on his boots and grabbed his lute and coin purse before stumbling feebly out his door.
He had to lean heavily upon the rail as he nearly rolled down the stairs. There was little activity on the main floor of the tavern. The matron was puttering about, sweeping beneath tables covered in chairs. There was a stirring behind the bar and Derrek stumbled his way over.
“Innkeep!” he hollered, his voice thick and slurred.
The large man stood up from beneath his counter. Derrek couldn’t help but reflect on how most innkeepers were often quite large and dressed in similarly stained aprons.
“I have a name,” the man grumbled.
“Your finest meats and cheeses, if you’d please. I have a busy day ahead!”
The innkeep eyed Derrek warily.
“First, I thought you said you’d given up on meat.”
“Your finest cheese then!”
“Second, you hardly look like you’re ready for any day, busy or not. Wild night?”
“I don’t remember,” Derrek said, slumping against the counter. “Think you’d mind adding a mead to the order?”
“I’ll give you water but I can charge you the same if it would make you feel better.”
“Unlikely,” Derrek replied, his lips flopping against the polished wood. He found if he rolled his head at just the right angle, the pressure of the counter seemed to alleviate sixty percent of the pain flashing about his brain.
“Will you be participating in the Challenge today?” the innkeeper asked, eyeing Derrek’s lute.
“I have aspirations,” Derrek muttered from the counter. He lifted his head as a small tray of cheese and a great mug of water were slapped down loudly beside him. “By the way, I didn’t happen to have any visitors last night. Either while I was here or away?”
“Don’t rightly know, I wasn’t working that late,” the innkeep said. “Marta! Oi! Did this fine gentleman have any callers?”
The Matron looked up, slapping the broom handle in her palm.
“What do I look like, eh? Some sort of fancy herald?”
“Don’t give me that lip woman! You know very well that he has been expecting friends for a few days now. Would you turn away all potential customers because you’d rather sit drunken before the fire?”
“Don’t take that tone with me! If it weren’t for my work this whole place would crash down about her piggish head!”
The pair’s raising voices weren’t helping with Derrek’s headache. He tried to politely wait it out by stuffing some questionable bread into his ears. He then focussed his attention on the aging cheese and peculiar water.
“No worry, it wasn’t important anyway.”
“Look, woman! Now you’re upsetting the clientele!”
“Me? He looks positively sick after eating that foul mess you call food!”
“Well, we could serve some decent meals if you learned to cook like a proper wife!”
“Just add it to my tab,” Derrek smiled, pushing himself to his feet and staggering towards the door.
“Hold on a sec,” the Matron called. “There were some folks asking around for you the other night I believe.”
“A woman and two men?”
“I don’t remember all of them,” the lady replied, scratching her frazzled mane. “But I do remember the fat one. Carried an instrument like yours. Seemed to suggest you were old friends or the like. Wouldn’t have let him near your room otherwise.”
Derrek nodded.
“Much appreciated. Oh, and if the three I described before do come, tell them to wait for me up at the Academy.”
Derrek stumbled out the door.
He wasn’t sure where he was headed but given his present state of mind he wasn’t sure of anything. He mostly acted on the urge to find some decent drink and the growing certainty that if he didn’t find some money soon his current room and board would catch on that he couldn’t afford the tab he was quickly accumulating.
And so he did the most foolish thing one could possibly do in the City of Roads.
He wandered.
It was a well known idiom that even if one knew where they were going it was unlikely they would get there in Etreria. The streets had the knack of swallowing up the aimless. Citizens treated the lost posters as just another form of decoration, often besetting on the poor pamphlets with their brushes and paints to make them more decorative than actually participating in any search for the lost souls.
Likely, there was little effort made for the vanished because most knew it was pointless. To say there was a seedy underbelly in Etreria would give the mistaken impression that there was a respectable body to be blemished. Because of so many clashing cultures, no one knew how to properly regulate them. Most foreigners arrived with their own preconceptions of what the laws of the land should be. It was joked that Etreria was home to the most courts and fewest magistrates in the lands.
The original fort still stood, a tiny bastion of lawfulness that, instead of attempting to clean up the bursting civilization growing around it, merely just walled itself in and hid from the ever growing problems. If anyone was ever caught breaking the law, it was almost impossible to figure out how to punish them.
Instead, the wealthiest merchant families turned to hiring their own guards and mercenaries to protect their interests. Thus the main artery roads that saw the most trade were heavily watched but the further one strolled from those main thoroughfares, the more the laws descended into the rule of the wild.
“Und stratz mit ze uldensackt, flutens.”
Derrek paused, noticing his addresser emerge from beneath the tattered remains of a long abandoned stall.
“Hello.”
“Lost, fluten?”
The man was a dirty sort; the kind that found his bed beneath the awnings of forgetful merchants at night and sorted through the wastes for his food. He had distinctive tattoos printed upon his face in pale imitation of the markings of the eastern gangs. Though his clothes were grimy and worn, his fur rimmed hat looked perhaps the most aged.
A startling wave of nausea washed over Derrek and he tipped, leaning against his confronter and looking up at him with bleary eyes.
“You… you look travelled.”
“What are you on?” the man asked, his eyes narrowing as he pushed Derrek back. Derrek leaned against the stall to keep himself upright.
“Leboe. Dian. Take.”
It wasn’t perhaps his most comprehensible sentence, but he hoped the message still got across.
The thug looked at Derrek with confusion. He drew a rusted knife from his belt.
Derrek shook his head.
“No. No, need Dian…”
He would have continued more but felt the muscles of his throat begin to contract and he turned, the remnants of his breakfast and whatever he had consumed the evening prior ejecting upon the ground.
The thug merely turned to his compatriot waiting in the shadows and nodded his head further down the dank alleyway. Derrek just waited, still hunched over as his digestive system worked over what little else it was holding. However, after ridding himself of the undigested food, he begin to feel a slight alleviation in his headache and his stomach felt less like it was tossing on the open seas.
Soon, the sound of stamping feet echoed down the back alley. There was incomprehensible grunting and one of the men pulled Derrek upright. He wavered before a rather rakish individual with much cleaner clothes and a large black patch tied over one eye.
“Take him,” came the stern reply.
Almost immediately, Derrek was hoisted upon someone’s shoulders and bounced down the alley. He really couldn’t gather where he was carried, but there was the sound of a scratching gate before he was pushed through a door into a dank basement.
He heard orders shouted as his lute was pulled from him and he was hoisted upon a table. Hands pinned his limbs as old One Eye appeared above him, peering down with its concerned namesake.
“Drink.”
A cup was lifted to his lips as a hand opened his mouth. Derrek felt the burn of the liquid wash against his throat.

And then he felt nothing.

Continue to Balls Part 5 >

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Balls – Part 3 of 8

< Return to Balls Part 2

Must we pick up with our spoony bard? We must. More balls!

Writer’s Confession – often when I didn’t know how to start a section I’ll just begin with describing the setting and see where things go from there. This can lead the narrative into bizarre directions but I just try and roll with it.

—————Break —————

 The city of Etreria was a city of crossroads. It sat near the border, fed by the famous Eleven Worldly Trails and the magnificent Spine of the World. These twelve trade routes insured an endless supply of travellers and merchants that caused the city to swell with gold and supplies. To say that Etreria was a wealthy city was to say the Infinite Sea merely a puddle.
In its earlier days, the city was little more than a modest hill fort, protecting a small lay-over camp for the traders on the Spice Road. It served little strategic value, it held little desirability for farming and was so far from any serviceable rivers to hardly be considered worthy of any further development.
 And yet, miraculously, the damn place kept growing. The traders from the far east began to set up small trading posts beneath the bored eyes of the presiding knight captain and his men. This provided greater incentive for the distant men to carry more and more goods west, garnering the attention of the thrones to the north and south. However, armed conflict over the miserable spit of rock was far more trouble than the kings wanted, so they commissioned the creation of roads connecting their lands to that outpost.
 With the sudden interest of foreign regents, the ruling family decided that there must be some value in the oft ignored post where military commanders went to be forgotten. Thus, better infrastructure was funded and suddenly three interests were competing to create the most enticing avenue to funnel the confused foreigners.
 The kings entered a fierce trade conflict, each maneuvering to obtain more goods from their foreign visitors than their rivals. What they bought didn’t matter; vases, silks, spices, pets, herbs, goats, grains, berries, alcohol, beads, strange rocks and hats were sold for more than any of the traders would value their worth. With a sudden demand for everything exotic, more and more traders were sent and the roads connecting to Etreria from all angles were paid so much attention that they became renown throughout the kingdoms.
This unexpected boon in trade grabbed the attention of other kingdoms both near and far and suddenly a whole host of new players were throwing their hands in over the fort. But no one dared send a military force to claim the city through force for each ruler feared provoking a collation from the others to permanently oust them from the valuable markets.
And so, the rocky, infertile lands surrounding Etreria were covered in the snaking paths stretching to the far corners of the known lands. Each route vied to be the most enticing to the ever growing number of merchants, seeking to cover their routes with stretches of guard posts, comfortable inns, tax credits and even pleasing banners.
 Unfortunately, given so much choice, the foreign merchants became paralyzed by the decision of who to trade with. Instead, they squatted right down at the foot of the old Etreria fort, building their own storehouses and shop fronts to sell to each investor right at the end of the Spine. It wasn’t long before merchants outnumbered the soldiers and competition sprouted amongst the traders for who could sell the most to their eager customers. They did everything to undermine the fellow sellers: marriages were arranged, courts were created to tie opponents in a mountain of bewildering bureaucracy, assassins were hired to quietly eliminate the more troublesome and adept individuals and some even went so far as to cut their prices.
 With the merchants so entrenched, it wasn’t long before the kingdoms followed suit. And then, Etreria became a jumbled city of peoples, customs, litigation and general market driven mischief. This hotbed of cultures and ambition could not have been a more perfect place for the College of Bards to settle. And so the minstrels and wastrels arrived, adding ever more colour and confabulation to the City of Roads.
 It was a city Derrek had only been to once before but one he had vowed to return. He hadn’t planned on it being as soon as it was, however, but now that he was here he couldn’t help but feel that it was the ever gentle prodding of fate. His journey with his companions had brought him far and wide but to bring their weary feet to Etreria, right near the Challenge, seemed far too fortuitous for it to be anything else.
It was his time to be named Seeker, he knew it. All his experiences, all his adventures, were in preparation for this moment and this time. He just had to pen them down and find the right recourse to express them.
And so he sat beneath the candlelight facing a dozen empty parchments and a full bottle of untouched ink.
His head rested in his palm and mead rested in his spare hand. He stared unblinking at the blank faces of the paper – his mind a complete desert of ideas.
He didn’t know what to write.
He took another swig from his emptying cup, glaring furiously at the papers as if he could will his thoughts upon their surface.
 It was a maddening state to be faced with the greatest opportunity but to have nothing to put towards it. He had been here once more, this exact city and this exact place.
And it hadn’t ended well then.
 “Hopeless.”
He raised a wavering hand over the table, swiping the parchments dramatically from the desk to flutter freely in the air. He watched the last sheaf drift on lazy currents to the floorboard before stooping over and picking them all up again.
 That was the fourth time he’d attempted that method but still no ideas sprouted. Even playing the part of a troubled playwright wasn’t producing results. Perhaps he needed more conviction in his delivery.
“A pox of a thousand and one fleas to infest your armpits!” he screamed. He threw one sheet at a time from his writing table. He then stared at them expectantly upon the floor.
Still nothing.
This was going to be harder than he planned.
A welcomed knock came upon his door and he jumped to his feet, hurrying over for the expected
refreshments.
To his disappointment, it was not the serving wench from downstairs upon his step. Instead, it was the flamboyantly dressed Mikael.
“Friend! What a pleasant surprise it is to see you again!”
 Mikael burst through the door in a flutter of fantastic cloth and waving hands.
“How long has it been? Three, maybe four years? What have you been doing with yourself? You look absolutely fabulous, I must say. Is that a new jerkin? It looks absolutely smashing on you, really brings out your figure. And what a fabulous colour as well! Did you pick it up from here? I don’t recognize the design.”
 The man plopped down upon Derrek’s chair, lifting to inspect his cup carefully. He tipped the drink to his nose, his small nostrils tentatively testing the scent of the beverage. Immediately, a look of disgust painted his face as he sprung to his feet.
 “You know, we should really catch up. Last I heard you were bounding off to study at some school or some such. There must be so much to cover!”
He walked over to the window, pulling against the warped wood until enough space had been cleared for him to pitch the mead out.
 “I know this terrific tavern… though it’s not really much of a tavern. It’s more like a feast hall. Though there’s less feast in the ‘traditional sense,’” he accentuated those words with his two fingers, “but it is nevertheless a very entertaining place. What say you, old friend, shall we paint this town for old times sake?”
 Enough time lapsed between the young man’s words for Derrek to blink. Clearly an indication for him to take a turn to speak.
“What are you doing here?”
 It was perhaps a more forward route than Derrek had planned to ask. However, the words had been sprung to life from the tip of his tongue before any reigns could be harnessed about them. Freed now there wasn’t anything that could be done save wait the response.
 “Derrek! Confidante! Word on the street was that you were back in Etreria and I thought to myself, ‘Mikael, it has been ages since you’ve spoken with your good friend. Proper decorum would necessitate that I make an appearance upon his stoop, would it not?’”
 “I’m sorry,” Derrek said, walking over to his desk and straightening his papers with an air of trained professionalism, “but I am a little busy. Not much time to party and all that.”
“Nonsense,” Mikael said, waving his hand. He strolled over, placing the cup upon the writing desk with finality before clasping Derrek’s arm. “If there is one thing I know, there is always time to party. You’ll have plenty of time to work on your manuscript or ballad or whatever it is you do.”
 There was no point in arguing. It was all Derek could do to grab his jacket before being ushered out his cramped room and down the rickety stairs of the inn.
“How did you know I was back?” Derrek asked.
 “Oh, words have feet and such,” Mikael smiled. “When they finally reached me I knew I just had to drop what I was doing and come see you right away. And, might I add, you are looking mighty handsome after this time. Been eating well?”
 “The stomach doesn’t cramp anymore,” Derrek said. “I spoke to an apothecary and they suggested it was too much meat in my diet. So it’s been nothing but vegetables and fruits.”
 “Oh, I hear you,” Mikael laughed. “I could not agree more! Not one bit. Course, it goes without saying that our four-legged brethren are our most trusted companions and we do them a bad turn by throwing them on our dinner plate.”
Derrek shrugged.
“They just make my stomach upset.”
Mikael led him into the busy street still bustling with the shuffling bodies of merchants and visitors attempting to push their way from the stalls and into the numerous taverns and theatres that dotted the street sides.
Great paper lanterns were strung overhead, their soft red light illuminating the roads beneath. Long banners were hung down store fronts with elaborate designs to both convey the owner as well as advertise the weaver’s great artistic flair.
A woman of deep ebony skin emerged from her crate, stopping Derrek and Mikael as she held up her slender arms. Bells were fastened to leather straps that ran down the length of her arms and body until wrapping tightly about her ankles. She clicked her fingers, the chime of small cymbals ringing cleanly in the air.
The performer looked seductively at both the men before beginning to writhe and twist her body in tantalizing form. Each bell bedecking her smooth skin gave off the sweetest of chimes as her almost silken gown billowed elegantly about her body.
Immediately, both men reached for their coin purses.
Derrek felt the retreat of dastardly fingertips retreat into the pressing crowds as Mikael pushed his way forcefully past.
“My apologies, milady, but we’re not interest!”
Once cleared, he turned to inspect Derrek’s belt and smiled.
“I see you still haven’t lost your reflexes.”
“Tired distractions lacking originality. This city is better than that.”
“I knew it would come back to you!” Mikael laughed, pulling him ever further through the streets.
The sights and smells washed over them while they forged their way along twisting boulevards. Due to its nature, Etreria loved roads and lay them where they could causing the most peculiar shaped alleyways and streets. Paths would hook in on themselves with no reason and budding buildings would create zigzagging passages beneath their overhanging balconies. It was the sort of city one could easily get lost in; swallowed by the turning paths, shuffling mass and drowning colours.
At last Mikael and Derrek emerged before a massive hall with a grand façade. It was almost entirely wood, with grand carvings covering the entire front. Intricate interwoven ribbons were etched about great sculptures of primitive men with bulging muscles wrestling various flora and fauna in their wild nakedness. The doors to the structure had been thrown wide open, the heat and laughter from inside spilling out in reckless revelry.
“Welcome to the Hall of Bears!” Mikael announced.
“Official name?”
“Affectionate.”
Derrek was dragged up its steps and pushed inside.
It was clear the architect was shooting for some northern motive. Once passed the entryway, an enormous fire pit ran straight down the middle of the massive front room. Metal spits held a large collection of foods slowly turning over the flickering flames. Bordering either side of the pit was a pair of large tables with a thin bar splitting their lengths. Beside this area, the tables lined the walls leaving a large space separating the middle seating and the rest. Where a head table would have been was an open stage with large red curtains running along its back.
“Boys!” Mikael called as he entered. “I’m back!”
A raucous cheer rose from the gathered men as goblets and glasses were raised. The heady scent of fine wine and spirits dominated what otherwise should have been a space filled with the mouth watering scent of roasting meat.
However, there was no scent of stuck boar to fill the air below the vaulted timber roof. Only vegetables, roots and fruits were rotating upon the spits. Derrek couldn’t help but also notice a distinct lack of serving wenches.
“Not my typical scene,” Derrek said.
“Come now, my troupe has prepared a special show just for you.”
“An unexpected honour.”
“A celebration for the reigniting of old friendships. Come, we have a seat prepared.”
Derrek was brought to the front of the middle spit. A large man with a penchant for the furs of a wild barbarian moved aside while patting the space invitingly. Derrek slowly buttoned upon the top of his shirt as he smiled and sat down.
“What can I get you?” a bare-chested youth asked walking up to him.
“He’ll have an Ascandian Spirit,” Mikael said, patting Derrek’s shoulders. The young man nodded before departing.
Derrek cleared his throat, running a hand through his luscious blonde hair. The crowd appeared a mixture of rugged aged workers and younger, preened youths. It was the sort of place that Derrek, with his almost feminine features and shape, easily stood out amongst the crowd.
Derrek smiled politely as his server returned with his drink. Once the servers back was turned, he carefully tested the contents to make sure they were genuine.
“Fantastic!” Mikael smiled. “Now give me some time to get ready and we’ll get the show started.”
The man hurried towards the stage, scampering up its side steps and disappearing behind the curtain. Derrek looked around, noticing with some trepidation that all eyes were on him. There were almost twenty patrons, the only two women occupying a far corner beneath the shadows of a large, detailed pillar of a man and buck butting heads.
A soft rumble caused Derrek to turn towards the exit as he watched two of the working youths pull the massive doors closed.
“Shouldn’t we keep those open. Perhaps for fresh air?”
The bear of a man sitting beside Derrek merely folded his arms.
“Don’t want no one interrupting the show.”
A soft drumming echoed from behind the curtains hushing the remainder of idle conversation. The drumming grew louder, joined quickly by the rhythmic stamping of feet. As if rehearsed, many of the patrons began to thump their hands against the tabletops in chorus.
Derrek turned quickly to his wine.
Suddenly, a man burst from the curtains. It took Derrek a second to recognize Mikael Lors beneath the great ironed helm with enormous deer antlers protruding from its studded sides. He had a single red cloth wrapped about his near bare body which he clutched to his chest with his left hand. Derrek hadn’t seen Mikael for a long time and during their absence the boy had obviously misplaced quite a bit of weight. There were still the faint reminders of his rounder days, noticeably in the soft padding of his neck. His skin also seemed slicked, as if he had just been dipped in oil.
Mikael strode boldly to the front of the stage, addressing the gathered crowd with a great, ringing voice.
“Behold my fellow travellers! We stand upon the brink of a great journey, nay, a transformation! For before you stands the great Baldr of the Northern Wilds, a legendary god-man who stood before the might of oppression and tyranny. Behold! For you are about to witness the thrilling tale of liberation and salvation! It is a tale of forbidden love and treacherous betrayal! A tale of personal expression!”
Mikael raised his hands to the hair, the cloth falling from his shoulders to catch about his waist. Beneath the cloth ran a deep red line, clearly paint but fashioned in such a way to appear as a terrific wound that ran all the way down to his navel.
Derrek, of course, had heard the tale of Baldr and the supposed fate that had ended with the legendary man cleaved in two. It seemed a most fitting play given their locale but there was something in Mikael’s delivery that made him sit on edge. Derrek couldn’t pinpoint it, but some mischievous gleam in the young man’s blue eyes tickled the primitive sense of self preservation.
A loud gong rang behind Mikael and the curtains were immediately whisked open, revealing the rest of the cast. Derrek was surprised to note two girls amongst the troupe since he had been convinced he knew the direction this production was heading.
All the men wore fur or tattered breeches with their bare-chests gleaming as if slicked with sweat. The women wore longer costumes of tanned leather. Derrek supposed they were going to portray the wild wolf packs but they looked more armoured mercenary than furry animal.
Another ring of the gong sent the three males rushing to Mikael’s side as they all crouched behind him, reaching around and pressing their fingers against the lead’s wound. A final ring and, in unison, they all pulled their hands back, streaking the red paint as if the blood were exploding from his chest.
One of the women produced a flute, beginning a rapid melody to represent the frantic rise of tension as Mikael squirmed beneath the clawing hands figuratively ripping him apart. The drumming began and many of the patrons joined in, building the feverish tempo.
“Come with me, fellow travellers!” Mikael cried. “Come with me to the end!”
He burst from the grasping arms, leaping from the stage to land upon the middle table. Derrek now realized why space had been cleared and quickly snatched his drink back as Mikael stumbled past, his loincloth now mostly dragging behind him as the cloth fell through the revealed metal rings bound about his hips.
As he descended down the centre of the room, courageous patrons reached up to grasp at the cloth still dangling from his hips, tearing at the fabric with their fingers. The drumming and fluting quickened in beat as the other men of the troupe crawled along the stage like beasts upon their stomachs. They followed the clearly symbolic trail of entrails in their master’s wake.
It was all quite post modern but a little heavy handed.
“Please, how long do you plan to drag this out?”
The voice cut through the revelry like a loosed arrow, killing the musical accompaniment with one, shocked note. The other actors ceased their writhing and Mikael slowed his flight.
The patrons turned towards the shadowed table and the interrupting question. Once again, some prickling warning ran down Derrek’s spine as his ears echoed the words from a familiar voice.
“We… we were at least going to finish the act,” Mikael whispered.
“I’m not paying you for this mindless drivel. Do it now!”
Without further warning, the women drew wicked daggers, leaping from the stage towards Derrek. More surprising, the men stood, producing weapons themselves somehow concealed beneath their meagre clothing.
And it was clear they were coming after Derrek.
He sprung to his feet, hurrying and looking about him trying to size the situation up. However, all the large, burly men in the audience seemed to shrink away from the actors flying off the stage and taking refuge at the furthest edges of the room. Some patrons fled to the front doors, banging uselessly against the barred massive wood.
Reflexively, Derrek reached behind him for his lute but then realized immediately that he had been pulled from his room so quickly he’d forgotten to bring it with him.
The first woman was upon him, striking out with her blades. Derrek didn’t even bother standing for a fair fight. He immediately doused her with the remainder of his drink, before throwing the cup towards the other and scampering for cover.
He cast about for some escape, noting the holes near the roof to vent out the rising smoke from the fire pit. Derrek looked at the pillar he knelt behind, noticing that the intricate carving had plenty of foot and hand holds.
He began his ascent.
There were shouts below him, and he noticed the troupe not even pause as they came tumbling forward. There was no hesitation as they leaped upon the carved bear and muscular man, scampering over them as if it were no more than shimming up a rope. In seconds they were just below him, one reaching up and pulling rudely on Derrek’s boot.
Derrek lost his balance. He landed upon a table and rolled off, laying upon the floor in pain. He turned his head and watched with fascination as Mikael detached the two hoops at his side, holding the items before him with their curious flame styled blades.
They looked remarkably like wind-and-fire wheels.
“Sorry old friend,” Mikael said, bending over in little more than the remaining thin strap of red cloth covering  his decency. He pushed one of the blades to Derrek’s throat, the metal uncomfortably warm.
Derrek then heard a sharp clapping.
“Now, that is a performance I can enjoy. A bewildered, cornered animal with just the right touch of betrayal.”
Walking from the shadowed pillar was a face that he could now identify. Her wavy brown hair tied severely back in a tight knot that appeared to pinch her features and add even more severity to her face. Her freckled features were lined and worn by endless scheming and double-dealing.
“Mairen. I didn’t know you enjoyed this kind of show. If you really wanted a date, you could have just asked. You know, like a normal woman.”
“Save the witty banter, I can barely stand it from Keirn,” Mairen said.
“So Mikael is part of your network now too.”
“It shouldn’t be surprising anymore what one can buy with money. Now, you know what I’ve come for, bard.”
“I’m not done my play.”
Mairen leaned down, the heavy smell of her perfume filled with the scent of desperation and ruined lives.
“I’ve come for your balls,” she said.
“Which ones?”
Mairen drew a long, crooked dagger.

“Well, I believe that is really up to you now, isn’t it?”

Continue to Balls Part 4 >

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Study in Pink Review (Rivals & Ritalin)

Something different for today. I was going to post another piece from that continuing saga about Derek but there’s been something more pressing on my mind. And while my sister got the brunt of my rambling about it earlier I thought perhaps I would try slapping some of it up on this blog since that’s what it was created for.

Recently I got around to watching the BBC Sherlock – a rather interesting retelling of the classic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle character in a modern setting complete with cellphones, computer hacking and a cursory understanding of modern science.  I have no excuse for seeing this show so late since my sister recommended it months ago. Course, she did mention it around the time I saw Elementary – an American take on the same premise. And Elementary is probably the most offensive use of Sir Doyle’s work that I’ve ever seen (and I watched both Guy Ritchie movies).

I should preface that I absolutely love the old Sherlock Holmes stories. When I was young, my mother bought me a huge anthology of the tales and I can still remember clutching the large, red covered hardback in my tiny little hands. Everytime Sherlock exclaimed that he had the solution to the mystery I would slam the book shut and wouldn’t open it until I had puzzled out the answer.

Or, an answer since inevitably half the time Sir Doyle cheated and kept important information or even culprits until the climatic reveal at the end. Certainly a way to keep your audience guessing, but it became quickly apparent that the secret to Sherlock’s expansive genius was less reliant on keen analytical reasoning and more a matter of the little jerk withholding information until he made everyone else feel wholly stupid.

Still, they were fun so I always approach retellings of the tales with a bit of apprehension. Whenever you like the source material it’s always a gamble whether someone’s reinterpretation of the events will be anywhere near the same enjoyment. Hell, Howl’s Moving Castle is the perfect example of that (perhaps a discussion left to another time).

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So, I sat down ready for a grossly disappointing hour and a half when I prepared for a Study in Pink (oh boy – obviously a take on a Study in Scarlet with a wholly less clever name). After getting used to Benedict Cumberbatch’s peculiar look – which isn’t that far a stretch from Holmes’ description anyway – I was pleasantly surprised to find a Study in Pink to be an actually engrossing story. It was, I dare to say, even better than the original and perfectly integrated into our modern times.

It was hardly without flaws, mind you, but most of them are pretty minor. For example, there’s a moment when Holmes corrects a jealous police officer that he is not a psychopath but a high functioning sociopath. Sadly, five seconds of research would tell anyone that the two terms are synonymous and Cumberbatch’s character would certainly have known that even if the writers didn’t. Anyway, minor quibble over a writer’s small attempt at humour.

I suppose I should pause here and warn that there are going to be ample spoilers from this point forward. So, if you care about those things, I recommend you watch the series first if you care to hear the rest of my words on the matter. Currently, it’s only six episodes long so it’s not too great an investment.

There, now that that’s out of the way…

My biggest grievance with a Study in Pink was the bizarre hamstringing of Moriarty in at the end. A quick little lesson on the third most famous character from Sir Doyle’s serial: Moriarty was a character hastily created in a short titled The Final Problem. He was made with a specific purpose; to kill Sherlock Holmes so Sir Doyle could get on with writing about more important things… namely dinosaurs.

In this regard, Moriarty was less the ‘legendary rival’ of Sherlock Holmes that he’s commonly perceived as and more just another villain for the great detective’s Rogue Gallery. Moriarty’s sole tale was began and ended in one particular narrative that involved flinging both characters over the lip of a waterfall and never to be seen again.

Until Sir Doyle realized he could make quite a bit of money by reviving the detective and thus retconning was created.

The reason for Moriarty’s popularity can only really be attributed to Sherlock’s description of him in The Final Problem. The professor never really performed much in terms of narrative impact save for a timely air tackle and if it weren’t for Sir Arthur Doyle hyping his prowess I’m sure Moriarty would have been forgotten along with the likes of Jack Stapleton (bet you didn’t remember him even though he’s the villain of the most famous Sherlock Holmes novel). The only reason Moriarty was given such a fearsome reputation was to ease the blow of Sherlock’s death in the story. If Sherlock died ridding the world of a great menace then perhaps people would stop bugging Sir Doyle to write more tales about him.

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Sherlock (the series) decided to hype the great Professor before his grand reveal. Which, while a noble prospect, actually became a rather annoying issue. The problem with forcing Moriarty into the narrative prematurely is that he had no business being involved in the issues. A Study in Pink is a story of a rather pedestrian serial killer. Moriarty gains nothing by association with him and actually loses quite a bit since now the authorities are aware of the master criminal’s presence… because he was giving money to the cabbie for some imperceptible reason. The reason Moriarty is so sinister is because he’s portrayed as the puppet master; the invisible hand behind so many criminal actions that he’s essentially the Emperor of the Underworld.

This aspect is completely abolished if every lowly criminal scum and every despicable crime is directed by his hand. Someone stealing candy from a child doesn’t have to be motivated by Moriarty’s apparently boundless depravity. Sometimes crime can be unrelated to each other.

Anyway, it was a single moment of the show trying to be cute and failing. Except they replicated the exact same issue in the next story, The Blind Banker. Which is unfortunate since Moriarty had more reason to be involved in that story but now him being everywhere was starting to come across as contrived. The Great Game sealed the issue in fantastically bumbling fashion when Moriarty is revealed to not only be an obnoxious twit but also a “consultant criminal” who is far too fast to sell out his clients to the authorities with absolutely zero gain.

The Great Game is perhaps the stupidest episode I have ever seen. The characterization of Moriarty wasn’t fresh but idiotic. There is no way that a nattering young man with impulse control issues could ever achieve the complex web of criminal control that he’s suppose to obtain. No one in their right mind would work with him. And the deus ex machina of there being a “sniper on the roof” was played far to ridiculously for it even to have such an important role on the story.

Clearly the writers felt the same since the first episode of the second season resolved the “cliff hanger” standoff between Sherlock and Moriarty by the writers literally phoning in an excuse to resolve it and never speaking of the issue again. Except, after completely bumbling the character’s appearance they decided it was still prudent to bring him into every episode following until the absolutely retarded Reichenbach Falls. So, I have to correct my previous paragraph – The Great Game is the second stupidest episode I have ever seen. Reichenbach Falls is far and away the dumbest, least thought out story I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Nothing in the episode makes sense and already these three sentences I have written on it are more words than it deserves.

Which brings me to the issue of rivals. Rivals make fantastic literary characters, especially for serial stories. They add that personal element to the main character’s struggles. Played well, rivals can even be as popular or even more liked than the actual main character. But they require a certain finesse in their execution. Moriarty and Sherlock Holmes can never be rivals in this literary sense. The two characters are far too great a threat to each other that they can’t have a protracted engagement since neither benefits by leaving the other alive. Moriarty has far too much to lose with Sherlock ruining his plans and his organization. Sherlock has far too much to lose with a criminal who is willing to kill anyone and everyone that interferes with his aims. The moment Sherlock becomes a threat, the master criminal wouldn’t play with the detective but dispose of him as quickly as he could.

For a rival to work, there must be some compelling reason for each other to not put a bullet in the other’s face or slit their throat when they first meet. In this regard, The Joker and Batman are far stronger rivals. Both characters are motivated by philosophical prerogatives that forbid them from killing the other. Batman believes that all people are decent and must face the justice for their crimes (and he apparently has a rule against killing even though he plays fast and loose with that one). Joker believes that everyone is a corrupted monster and is just one step away from plummeting into the abyss. So strong a paragon are they of their own beliefs that just outright killing the other wouldn’t prove their point. They must either drive or redeem the other in order to prove they are correct. Thus, you can have both commit monstrous acts against the other but they would never actually slay their nemesis. It would be akin to mentioning Nazis in an Internet discussion; the very act immediately ending the debate and proving the offender unarguably wrong.

Thus, ultimately, rivals only work if they have more to gain by the continued survival of their arch-nemesis. If your character is better served by just killing his enemy and forgetting him then they aren’t good rivals. They require a compelling personal reason to maintain the relationship – otherwise it just comes across as silly and illogical. It creates a disconnect that threatens your suspension of disillusion.

Remember – if your audience asks “Why doesn’t X just kill him?” and you can’t come up with a compelling answer for that then you have a big problem. These characters aren’t rivals but enemies and are better regulated to the simple rogues of your typical serial then trying to hamstring some greater eternal struggle.

Also, can someone get Moriarty some ritalin. Goodness that portrayal was awful.

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Balls – Part 2 of 8

< Return to Balls Part 1

When last we met our fearless heroes they were balanced on an impractically placed ship. They were also letting some mysterious pirate captain get the better of them. However, one name seemed curiously absent from this encounter.

Our eponymous bard appears to have sat this little adventure out. I wonder what he could be getting himself involved in…

—————Break —————

“I just don’t know where I see this going.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be here. They’re only two days late.”
“I don’t mean that,” Aliessa sighed. “Have you not been listening to me at all?”
“Weren’t you saying how annoyed you were that the others weren’t here and how you couldn’t wait anymore?” Derrek asked.
He looked past the irritated woman, eyeing the man climbing upon the stage with suspicion. Aliesse leaned back into his vision, expectation written all over her face.
Derrek regarded her politely.
“Yes?”
“Do you even remember what day this is?”
“The Seventh of Wintermarch according to the Aretessian Calendar, also known as Trolfynnan Day in honour of the Corindian god of flutes, whistles and general drunken revelry. It is the day that many bard colleges decide to hold a festival in his honour and to test the mettle of all registered minstrels through challenges of skill, knowledge and trivial uselessness.”
“… and our anniversary?”
“Yeah… that too.”
Aliessa sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Her exaggerated attempt at agitation caused her nestled newt to scamper from his perch upon her wrist and seek refuge beneath the slip of her shoulder strap.
The young woman of elongated delicateness wore a shimmering dress of shifting emerald and turquoise scales that appeared almost as if it were fashioned from the skin of some exotic beast. Her hair had been gathered amongst several colourful wooden pegs in which her pet snake had wound herself amongst like a long streak of cardinal highlight in her chestnut hair festooned with soft pink petals.
She had even worn delicate shoes that appeared as if they had been fashioned from the very element of ice and exposed carefully painted toes that seemed to refract into a rainbow of colour within her footwear. Not that Derrek could see this as her cat had curled upon her feet to nap as the evening progressed.
All in all, the girl was woefully overdressed for the establishment she currently occupied. Upon her arrival, all the patrons had turned to ogle in their muddied and tattered leathers and cottons. It was perhaps the long, curious staff that kept them mostly at bay. The curving fingers of the top seeming to trap an ever shifting eye within that maintained a wary, unblinking stare at anyone that showed too much interest.
The woman sighed, reaching for her drink. From beneath the table sprung a small ferret that bounced across and pushed her cup to her outstretched fingers.
But Derrek didn’t care. It was the man that was standing upon the stage, shouting at one of the audience before him and gesticulating wildly towards that chair that drew his attention.
“You know,” Aliessa said, setting down her cup, “when your friends had set off on their quest, I thought this would have given us the perfect opportunity to spend some time alone. It seems I’ve hardly seen you since you’ve been tromping off across the countryside for what seems like years now.”
“Mhmm.”
“And when you said that this weekend was going to be special I thought you had taken the time to arrange something pleasant for the occasion.”
“Yeah.”
“And instead you dragged me to the Copper Laurel and haven’t even said a word to me since entering the door.”
“Sure.”
“By the blistering winds of Arcadia! WILL YOU PAY ATTENTION!”
Aliessa slammed her hand upon the table, causing the cups to jump and spill their contents across the stained top. A small dish of nuts spun, tipping the food upon the dirty floor before immediately being beset by the ferret.
All the present eyes turned to the couple, save one pair. Derrek still looked warily upon the man at the stage, wrestling the stool from the distracted patron.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” the man called, his voice high and screeching like someone scrapping their fingernails over Derrek’s eardrums, “but I’m trying to put a show on here!”
“I’m sorry,” Derrek said, finally blinking. “Was there something you said?”
Aliessa stood, a small gerbil tumbling from the folds of her dress.
“I’m going to use the chute.”
She stomped away, pursued quickly by her mini-menagerie.
Derrek merely motioned for more mead and kept a cold stare towards the fat man now fixing himself upon the stool.
“Right. Let’s get this start. So an ugly orc walks into a bar, right? And he’s got this parrot on his shoulder. Well, the bartender takes one look at that parrot and his eyes get real big. Then he’s all like ‘that’s pretty neat, where did you get it?’
“’In a cave!’”
The man gave a terrific squawk and fluttered his arms in mimicry of the colourful animal. The great rolls of his arms, squeezed out of the pressed but stained white shirt, flopped wildly about as he gestured. But only dead silence greeted his performance. Derrek merely shook his head.
“Guess I’ll have to explain it later,” the man called. He shrugged, picking up his lute and plucking at the strings a couple of times. Derrek could already tell the instrument was out of tune, but the man made no effort to fix it. Instead, he broke immediately into the Ballad of Baronug Crossing, his straining voice belting out the lyrics raucously over his hamstrung cords.
It was a painful experience, made even more intense by the slowly built clapping from the crowd. By the final stanza, they were cheering and singing along with the tune, mindless of the creatively void performance. At last, the song came to an end to mediocre applause and a few celebratory coins before the bard stood, kicking the stool to the ground and boldly striding down the steps.
He took enough time to smile and chat with a few passing patrons before making a beeline towards Derrek.
“Ah, friend, long time no see! How long has it been since the mighty Derrek Gungrik graced this fair city? I hardly recognized you earlier.”
“Alec Carver, still training in the practice of the lute I see?”
“Haha! I am a graduated master!” the fat man laughed, slapping Derrek upon the back. “I do hope that my performance hasn’t dissuaded you from joining in with the festivities.”
“I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to overshadow you once again. I mean, there’s only so long people can put up with your music once they actually hear talent.”
“Aha! Indeed! I’m so glad to hear that your lengthy exile hasn’t softened that wit of yours. I suppose you couldn’t enter the competition seeing that you are not a registered minstrel. Pity.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to reveal you for the fraud that you are.”
“Ha, you wish, dunderic. But I see your date has decided to come back for some reason.”
Aliessa returned slowly to the table, eyeing Alec carefully.
“My lady! Still treating with second rate, two bit musicians after all these years.”
“Good to see you too Carver,” Aliessa smiled.
“I suppose that university of yours never found a cure for your unfortunate condition then?”
Aliessa merely crossed her arms.
“There is nothing wrong with me.”
“The lady doth still protest,” Alec smiled. “A pity too, you would be quite beautiful if you ever got that seen to.”
“Careful Carver. Don’t forget, should I desire, I could always turn you into the toad that you are.”
“But you couldn’t transform yourself into a maiden? Hoho, you pair are a real laugh. Good luck with the challenge, Drek, it’ll take more than miss fancy fingers to get you past the preliminaries.”
Alec turned, giving a carefree wave as he walked out. Aliessa turned to Derrek, her cross expression never changing.
“The Challenge? You had no intention of celebrating our anniversary, did you?”
“You know how much this means,” Derrek said. “The winner of the Challenge receives the title of Seeker of the Cord!”
“I don’t care about your silly titles.”
“Title! Seeker is more than just a title. If I received it, they would be clamouring for my plays from her to the Boiling Sea! Derrek Gungrik would be a household name. People would start appreciating my unique melodies.”
“Fine!” Aliessa cried, reaching for her bag. “You do what you think is most important and seek this stupid title.”
“Where are you going?”
Aliessa shook her head as she stomped away, her cat and ferret bouncing after her.
“Aren’t you going to wait for the others to return!” Derrek called.
“They can find me at the Academy!” Aliessa shouted, slamming the door as she left. Derrek leaned back in his chair, looking at the half finished mead.

“If I knew she didn’t want to wait, I could have spent my time registering,” he grumbled. He turned to watch the next performer to take the stage. At the very least he could continue to scope the competition until his drinks were done.

Continue to Balls Part 3 >

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Yakushima Adventures (Christmas Boo Hoos)

It occurs to me that posting one day of my travel journal might be a little cruel since I tend to get in adventures that last more than one day. It also occurred to me that posting these might be a bad idea since I’ve never even spell checked them.

Let alone looked them over for anything embarrassing.

But despite these issues, I’ve decided to throw up day two of my adventures at Yakushima.

Day 2 – The Fun Never Stops
I woke up early (7:30) and was out of the hostel by 8:00. I decided to take a casual stroll down to the pier since I wouldn’t have any real time to spend in Kagoshima. Along the main road, the city had erected innumerous statues and plaques commemorating the important historical events that happened in the city. Most of it centered around the Meiji Restoration. For those of you not fluent in Japanese history, this was about the 1800s, when the Japanese Shogunate abruptly came to an end and a new monarchial parliament was put into place.
When I arrived at the pier I took a few pictures of Sakurajima – the volcanic island that never stops smoking. Once I gave up on trying to get something decent I strolled into the ferry office to discover it had left at 8:30.
Frantic, I confirmed that my ticket was still valid for tomorrow then meandered back to the inhospitable hostel trying to figure out what I would do in the city I had completely written off. I also worried about my hostel bookings in Yakushima and how well I would be able to change them.
Course, I stepped into the hostel and was abruptly asked for my reservation. I tried to explain my situation but the owner didn’t care, telling me that the hostel was completely full. I thought this was odd, since my booking last night had been last minute and when I was there only two other people were in my dorm.
It also struck me as odd that a hostel would be full on Christmas day when, presumably, most people would be visiting their families.
God damn it.
I pulled out my Lonely Planet and went searching for the next cheapest hotel. Wandered around the block about three times before giving up (having no desire in repeating the previous night). During my walk I pieced together all the disparate information I had gathered about my travel.
I was caught off-guard by there only being one ferry because there was no listed time on my ticket. I had read in my travel book that the ferries had a tendency to cancel at the first sign of a dark cloud in the sky and that catching the next ferry was usually a simple task unless you traveled during Golden Week or the summer. I also found out that the ferry ride was 13 hours!
I then realized that I had been confusing the JetFoil and ferry as one and the same. I had assumed the difference in my ticket prices was because Mary found me a holiday deal and not that I was taking two different types of boats. When I was planning my holiday, I still needed to prepare for my climb on the day I arrived in Yakushima and I wouldn’t be able to do this if I took the ferry.
So, I decided to just swallow the $40 ferry ticket and purchase and Jet Foil ticket. I sat in the Jet Foil lobby, waiting for my boat to arrive (there was an amusing mix-up between the two companies and my ticket and instead of trying to sort it out I just decided to take a later boat with the same company as my return ticket).
There is one other white couple in the lobby but otherwise I’m surrounded by a bunch of old Japanese. I’m also beginning to suspect that Yakushima won’t be as green as these videos are suggesting.
Nope, Yakushima is green. And a little rainy.
I had a brief run in with the couple from the ferry when I rushed outside to take pictures of Sakurajima exploding. However, I haven’t seen them since landing. Finding my hostel was easy enough. I just had to walk down the street and turn left. It’s a small, unremarkable building pressed up against some sea rusted factory. The proprietor is miles friendlier than the Kagoshima dirty one-sixth dozen and he communicates to me mostly in Japanese. Whether this is out of consideration or necessity I’m not entirely sure.
I stocked up on supplies before hunkering down in the hostel for the rest of the day. My first human contact was with a small group of Australians who weren’t very outgoing. I focused on packing my food, showering one last time and not reminding myself how alone I was. Also, I had to avoid the proprietor who is trying to tell me my path is snowed in. Obviously, if he can’t discuss the situation with me, the snow won’t be there when I arrive tomorrow.
That’s how things work right?
My roommates began to arrive later in the evening. The first was a very friendly Japanese man from Saitama with acceptable English. His sunny disposition lifted my spirits and his forthright attitude helped break the ice with my other roommate.
Though likely just starved for company, I chatted up the young Australian for quite awhile. He, too, is an ALT working with Interac. He’s placed somewhere near Kagoshima in two junior high schools. This is his second year teaching and he hopes to continue for several more. We share a similar taste in fiction though his taste in movies and music leaves something to be desired.
Translation: he likes noise.
Though, I have a small confession to make. While traveling in Japan I don’t like to admit that I am an ALT working here. I don’t know why, perhaps I feel it makes for a good excuse why my Japanese is so terrible. Also, it avoids the awkward “marry my daughter” moments with Japanese parents. Why I tell other ALTs that I’m just traveling is likely just to maintain appearances. Also, it spares having to do the same song and dance about my company, work and the other tired conversations that often come up between co-workers.
Dammit, I’m on vacation! I refuse to discuss Interac for the rest of the week!

Balls – Part 1 of 8

So here’s a little introduction since my counterpart just threw my writing willy-nilly into the Interwebs.

I’ve written a few scraps, collections and short stories tentatively branded as D&D (because I are so clever) and basically running under the premise of what life would be like if my friends and I lived in a fantasy world… of dungeons and dragons. Since they are all silly projects, I haven’t actually given them any editing time.

Turns out, there’s a lot less dungeons and dragons and a lot more bickering and squabbling. Most of the ideas for the stories come from big or little life events of the people around me. This one in particular was inspired by – you know what, I don’t want to ruin the surprise. It has the rather impressive title of Balls and is the first real short to feature Derrek as the main character.

Since they are all silly projects, I haven’t actually given them any editing time. So mind the spelling errors, grammar mistakes and logical inconsistencies. It’s the least I could do for my friends. So, enjoy!

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“If you know what is good for you, you will hand me the talisman.”

“Don’t do it!” Keirn called.
The wind whipped ferociously about them, mangling his words so that even Jeremiah had difficulty hearing them. He wasn’t sure if his friend was actually trying to persuade him or just giving the expected protestations of a man in his position.
Not that Jeremiah was in any shape to follow his advice. They were had by the balls.
The woman known as Scarlet Heather turned her hand crossbow, releasing a cackling bolt into the air that sizzled past Jeremiah’s left ear.
“Must this be protracted any further? Don’t make me ask politely.”
Her other hand held aloft the soft glowing balls clutched tightly in her fingers. They clinked as the woman swayed upon her feet. A great palpitation of light emitted from the twin artefacts, the flash curiously striated with red and blue. Jeremiah could almost hear them crackle like ice slowly breaking apart.
Jeremiah took one step forward. But the deck pitched beneath his feet, causing all those aboard to grab madly for support. Only the pirate captain herself seemed to keep her footing upon the pitching vessel, her tired expression never loosening.
“We need to hurry!” Vera cried. The squat girl had her arms wrapped tightly about some dangling netting, her feet barely skipping the rotting wood of the ship. “This ship won’t stand forever.”
“The least you could do is bargain our freedom first!” Kait shouted.
“Honestly, I could just shoot you know and take the talisman from your body,” Scarlet Heather said, aiming her weapon squarely at Jeremiah’s chest.
He felt his heart skip at the threat. He looked at her pleadingly, staring straight at that soft face framed by the long, whipping strands of shimmering russet hair. Only her hardened gaze stared back.
“Please!” he shouted. “Why… why are you doing this!”
The deck shifted once more, causing Jeremiah to slip and fall heavily against the wood. Pain shot up his banged elbow but his hand still managed to grasp the rail, keeping him from tumbling to his doom. Once he regained his footing, he saw his adversary’s weapon had dropped slightly.
“It’s nothing personal, dear,” she whispered, the words barely escaping her ruby lips. “Trust me, I had no intention of things ending like this. But I have a contract that I must finish. Please don’t think this is has any bearing on my opinion of your character.”
“But the bounty on us has been dropped!” Jeremiah said. “Our lives aren’t worth anything.”
“Speak for yourself!” Keirn shouted.
“Like I said, this is nothing personal. I just need the talisman, you can have your globes and we can all go our merry way.”
“You can’t give them those!” Vera shouted as her feet, fully airborne now, kicked helplessly while the ship leaned even further upon its side. “Our instructions were very precise!”
“Yours perhaps. I was hired solely to retrieve the talisman.”
“I don’t think that was the intention of your contract,” Vera said.
“I don’t deal with intentions, only with gold. Now, shall we continue this standoff or shall we wait for this miserable wreck to completely dislodge itself and plummet to our collective grave?”
The tattered sails overhead snapped warningly in the wind, each gust threatening to pull the vessel further from the craggy perch. The ship groaned beneath its own rotting bulk as if it were conscious of its eagerly anticipated demise.
“You can’t give her Messchernizzer’s Talisman of Shattered Dimensions!” Kait warned. “We don’t know the ramifications of activating it without the protection of Glory Aessalia! This could doom us all!”
A sudden gust careened against the hull, pitching all the members forcefully to the ground. A terrific explosion of splintering wood filled the air as the ancient ship screeched down the cliff side. Vera screamed as the ropes she clung to unravelled dropping her down the length of the deck as it ground itself to a sheer wall disintegrating against the stones.
Jeremiah suddenly felt his full girth supported by the lone hand grasping the rail, and his fingers burned with the strain of keeping him anchored to the collapsing vessel. With a shout, his strength gave way and he felt the sickening sense of airlessness as he tumbled. He caught sight of the hired thugs falling like screaming planks of wood to the yawning chasm beneath them. Jeremiah was about to join them as the old contents of the ship’s cargo burst through the hall, leaving enough broken wood and debris for him to land roughly upon the broken skeletal frame of the elderly craft.
He groaned, shifting to his side. But the wood splintered beneath his shifting mass, causing for him to throw his arms roughly about the thick shattered planks forming the sheer deck.
“We’re going to diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Vera shrieked. She clung hysterically to the dangling rope, her body swinging with momentum to smack her against the deck over and over again as the wind rushed up from beneath them.
Suddenly, the ship came to a sudden stop with a tremendous crash. More wood burst from its degraded bonds, raining in splinters into the air. Jeremiah looked between his legs to see what had stopped their fall. The ship had managed to drive itself between a great rocky spire pinning them, temporarily, in the air at a great ninety degree angle.
He then quickly looked towards his friends. Though now guardless, as the last thug fell screaming past with his arms flailing, the siblings remained tied securely to the ship’s mast.
But what of the globes?!
Jeremiah looked back where Scarlet Heather had stood. The space was now completely empty of both woman and artefacts. Had she dropped? He looked down the length of the ship frantically searching for the rogue.
Miraculously, she stood upon the shattered rail, her hands unimpressively resting upon her hips. Beneath her, a great spider web of coils had appeared, likely launched by the curious contraption upon her wrist. Her hands still even glowed with the faint light of the orbs.
“Well, now that my men have fallen to their untimely demise, can we finally finish this exchange?”
Jeremiah turned to the two dissenting opinions. But Kait merely looked on the verge of tears and Keirn dangled curiously with his eyes closed as if he had drifted off into a boredom induced slumber.
Jeremiah scrambled to find some footing, the wood groaning beneath him. At last, he found enough purchase to turn and hold the talisman out, looking down at the remarkable woman.
“Very well. The talisman for the orb and my friend’s freedom.”
“If you think I’m coming up there to release your companions, you have another thing coming,” Heather called. “But drop the talisman and I will send up your globes.”
“No,” Jeremiah said. “How do I know I can trust you? The globes first.”
“Seriously? It would almost be easier to just wait for this damn ship to crash and search through its wreckage.”
“Just make the trade!” Kait called, her voice quivering.
Jeremiah took a resolute breath, reaching his hand out into the growling air as far as he could, then he released his grip.
The talisman tumbled from his fingers, turning about and about as it fell. Its long silver chain whipped about like a wild comet’s tail.
Heather raised her wrist launcher, shutting one eye as she steadied her aim. With unerring accuracy, a single bolt was loosed, snatching the twisting chain and plugging the object into the hall just within arm’s reach of her position.
She then grabbed a single piece of leather, looping it upon itself and nestling the globes beneath. She fastened it to her launcher, took careful aim once more, and fired the orbs towards Jeremiah. It struck the side of the deck just by his head, the tinkling of the orbs within giving off another rainbow pulsation.
“Until next time!” Heather called, raising her fingers to her lips and blowing Jeremiah a kiss. He felt his heart skip quickly once more.
“What about my friends?” Jeremiah called.
“I suggest you get them quickly,” Heather cried. “I don’t think this ship will remain for long.”
She balanced along her makeshift platform until she reached the rocky spire, taking the time to inspect it before finding a suitable ledge to begin her descent.
“And what of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!” Vera cried.
“I shall see you back at the port!”
And with that, the pirate captain departed, leaving Jeremiah with the sobbing redhead and his still bound companions. With tears still running down her cheeks, Vera began to slowly inch her way up the dangling rope but Jeremiah had no idea of how he was going to get to Keirn and Kait.
Had he been a religious man, he would have prayed.

“Why can’t these things ever be easy,” he muttered.

Continue to Balls Part 2 >

Return to the Short Story hub

Yakushima Adventures (Oh God, It’s Friday)

Whelp, almost forgot to post today. Since most of my stuff is on my external (which is all the way downstairs and ain’t no body got time for stairs) I rooted about my computer until I could find some words to post. It’s also far too late for me to actually come up with something original so I present an entry from my exotic Christmas travels in the mysterious and verdant Yakushima Island.

Side Note – is it redundant to call it Yakushima Island?

Day 1 – Christmas Eve

To say that the start of my journey was a little haphazard might be a bit of an understatement. Let it be known, at the very least, I have interesting adventures. For some reason, I had the wrong dates in my mind for when I began and it was only a last minute confirmation that revealed I was leaving a full day earlier than expected. Apparently, I had been reading my ferry ticket instead of my airplane ticket for the last month.
So, my day started at 6:45 with a last minute check of Steam’s Christmas Sale. There are some priorities that just can’t be ignored. Sadly, there was nothing of interesting so I grabbed my pack and was on my bike by 8:30. The plan was to take the direct bus right to Haneda airport which, assuming nothing unexpected happened, would leave me with a two hour wait at the airport. I figured it was better to be early than late in these situations.
The plan also included stopping by the post office to get some extra cash. However, it seems, ATMs have more benefits than most workers as they were closed until after the yuubinkyoku opened at 9:00. So I had to stop at the central post office. At least that was on the way to the hotel.
I parked my bike in the notoriously dangerous Belinda/George neighbourhood, hoping that the sad state of repair my bike was in would deter any would-be thieves. I then hurried to the hotel and quickly purchased two tickets for the Haneda airport. Curious when my bus would arrive, I popped outside to check the timetable.
I had missed the only one that would get me there on time – at 8:00. The next one wasn’t until 11:35. Oh shit.
With few options, I hopped on the bus to Tokyo station, fishing my Lonely Planet out and plotting a route through Tokyo’s underground to Haneda airport. Thankfully, getting there by train was incredibly easy. According to my research, I had three stops and a twenty minute tram. It was good that I allotted two hours in case of emergency.
Alas, it turned out, that two hours wasn’t enough. Who would have guessed that the roads would be incredibly congested on Christmas Eve. Well… this probably surprises nobody but me. It took over 3 hours to get into Tokyo and though I got from the station to the airport without any difficulties, I still managed to arrive just as my plane was leaving.
Thankfully, the Japanese pride themselves on customer service and an incredibly helpful worker got me a new ticket for a plane in a hour and ushered me through security before I even knew what was going on. It seemed that, while everyone was going somewhere, they weren’t going by plane.
I also learned that my backpack counts as carry-on. Furthermore, I learned that tripods can’t be brought on as carry-on. Good things to know for when I return.
Now, I don’t know if it is customary or if the attendants saw me board, but they gave an English version of every announcement. I was more impressed that I could understand them more than anything else. Not that this was anything but a nice observation since I promptly spent the entire two hour flight unconscious save for a brief moment when they offered me a complimentary drink. Too groggy to want to deal with it, I told them I was fine in Japanese. To which, the attendants immediately began talking about how I spoke Japanese… or something. I can’t really remember too well since I just rolled over and went back to sleep.
I have notes here on turbulence during the flight but that’s pretty boring. Let’s see if there was anything else of interest that happened this day. Airport staff got me safely on a bus for Kagoshima. Couldn’t find my hostel for an hour since the Lonely Planet’s map is incredibly useless. Hostel service was pretty unimpressive but the place was cheap.
Oh, to celebrate the festive season I made some wonderful purchases for you – the reader. First was a new pair of earbuds that are both rain and sweat resistant! They’ll be perfect for my runs on Monday which, invariably, is the same day Kamisu decides to rain on every week. I also bought a tripod, one of those Gorilla things that can wrap around posts. I’ve been meaning to get a tripod in order to improve my photos for awhile now and Yakushima seemed the perfect time to try and get better photos.
I passed a Kentucky Fried Chicken and can confirm that the Japanese eat chicken on Christmas. There was no seating in the restaurant as that whole area was packed with piles of take-out buckets. I wish I was exaggerating. Had I my camera with me, I would have photographic proof. Sadly, you’ll just have to take my work for it.
My dinner was less exciting. I stopped by a conveni for a typical bento and a piece of “Christmas” cake and eat it in my bunk at the hostel.
Merry Christmas…
Sigh. Forever Alone.

FTL Review (PC Game)

Well, seeing that my co-contributor has decided to brazenly post some of my stories already leaving me with little to write myself, I’ve decided to start this off with something a little special.

As my interests are greater than just writing, I have a tendency to peruse the digital landscape for some of my entertainment. As such, I thought I would start this off with a little review of a rare gem released last year.

And what better game to post on a blog called Out of my Mind than a game that is literally out of this world? First off, an FTL review!

FTL – also known as Faster Than Light – is a delightful pseudo-roguelike space faring, ship captaining game. That little genre title is a fancy way of saying that there’s not much to the actual game then you exploring a “dungeon” or “space sectors” in this regard and everything you really need and will use to win is found through your exploration.

The premise is simple, which is what I really like about it. You are one of the last remaining loyalists fleeing from the unstoppable forces of the rebel alliance as you try and deliver some crucial information to your leaders. It’s a cute little reversal and homage to Star Wars and kind of nice to take a perspective that isn’t from the scrappy little underdog. The rebels really feel more like a galactic empire, with their drones reaching the furthest flung space sectors and their fleets always nipping right at your heels (FTL engines) the entire journey through.

And while the story is light, I would have liked to see the designers play with that a little more. You’ll get the odd dialogue entry from the planets you visit about how they have no love for the rebels (especially when they are seen bullying around these little colonies) but I would have really liked for a narrative to be subtly woven through in these random exchanges. We could have seen colonies express why they never sided with the rebels. Perhaps we could get a few captains comment on where the fell on the conflict or even offer possible reasons why the conflict occurred. It’s not much, but it’s the sort of subtle storytelling that not only seems to be growing popular these days but also offer some extra form or replayability to the game.

As it stands, once you get to the end you have a rather unexpected boss fight and then… it’s done. There are a number of different styled ships you can acquire but since the game ends the same way every time I don’t know if I see the appeal for repeating just because of that. And, unlike other games in a similar style, your ship and crew are almost wholly determined by what you can scrap up through your exploration. Having these little story elements could encourage some people to try and seek out all the little events in order to understand the greater, global issue.

But I could only be saying this because I love stories. What really bothered me about the game, however, was a tonal shift. It’s made pretty clear that you’re being pursued by these scumbag rebels and your ultimate goal is to press through dangerous and treacherous space to reach the last friendly outpost. The game really seems focused on this journey – the crew that you assemble on the way and the tough decisions you make between them and how you’ll deal with the issues facing colonies and other ships you encounter. It’s got a very strong ‘flight to freedom’ vibe, so I was more than a little disappointed when I reached the end to realize not only is the journey pretty short (only about nine sector jumps in total) but then you’re inexplicably expected to face this enormous boss at the end. Needless to say, you die the first time and every playthrough after feels like you’re now preparing for this fight that you really don’t narratively have any expectation to face. I can understand the inclusion of the boss as a way to add difficulty to a game that would otherwise be too easy (if you just fled from every encounter and made a strict beeline to the end of each sector) but I really would have liked to see the challenge balanced better. Make the journey itself challenging, not some artificial encounter at the end.

All in all, I really enjoyed the game and it’s a strong showing for a little independent developer. And a lot of my criticism is probably unfair since the people making this are more game developers than writers. But, at the very least, I hope some of my complaints can highlight how important stories are to our entertainment and just how they can be included in a wide variety of ways. Really, we’ve been telling each other stories since the earliest recording of history and I don’t think all our fancy technology will ever replace the enjoyment of a good tale.

Anyway, for anyone who would actually care for a numbered rating but don’t want to be bothered with this rambling wall of text with little real “games journalism” information, this one’s for you:

8.5/10 successfully killed space spiders

The Sliver – Part 6 of 6

< Return to The Sliver Part 5

Kait paused, her mind still struggling to understand what was happening. She stepped towards her brother, but Calos called out pointing towards the floor.

            She looked down, her eyes following a soft splattering sound. Her breath caught in her throat.
            The sliver was not just a piece of a thorn. Somehow, the thing had grown and thin tendrils whipped at the air and ground, slapping against the stones and blood. It bounced as if the flesh and blood had given it unreal life.
            “That… that… was in… me…” Keirn whispered.
            The demonic seed slapped some more, bouncing like a fish out of water. It eventually strayed close to the firewood where the thin tendrils stopped striking stone and hit bark instead. Filled with an unnatural purpose the tendrils wrapped around the wood digging into the surface. The thorny seed sucked against the bark, imbedding itself within the fibrous remains. There, it appeared to take root, new tendrils cracking from the seed’s surface and wrapping around the wood.
            Kait watched in horror as the firewood was quickly enveloped within a green mass. The wood shook from the ordeal splintering beneath the strength of the plants crushing grip.
            Calos immediately sprang forward, rapidly snapping his palm against the piece of wood. As if sensing his approach, some of the tendrils unfolded attempting to wrap around his wrist with their thorny grip. However, the strike came so quickly that they snapped only the empty air as the chunk of wood became airborne. It struck against the floor once before skidding into the dying embers of the fire.
            There was a popping and crackling as the flames leapt upon the new fuel. The fire burst into life as a sickening squeal arose. The sound persisted for a few seconds as the three watched the flames burst along the green plant, running all along its length and turning it into charcoal. The squealing then ceased.
            Kait hurried to her brother, who had already begun tying his blood soaked cloth around his open wound.
            “Are you alright?” she cried.
            He looked up at her. Gone was the wildness that had greeted her earlier, replaced by weariness and a hint of relief.
            “I got it,” he smiled before his head fell back and his eyes closed.
            Kait and Calos picked him up and lay him close to the fire. Calos padded up his bedroll as Kait tied a clean bandage around his hand. She used a damp cloth to clean his arm and face as best she could.
            “I’ll stay up and watch over him,” she told Calos. But he shook his head and refused to go to sleep. The two of them stayed up watching over him until sleep snatched Kait from her persistent vigil.
            When Kait opened her eyes, she was greeted with the bright morning sun. She slowly raised her head, half wondering if the events swimming foggily in her mind of the previous night had just been a bad dream. However, her heart began to beat furiously as she rose from her slumber.
            She was lying alone in that empty inn.
            Neither Calos nor Keirn were anywhere in sight. Keirn’s bedroll was still unrolled on the ground, rumpled and carelessly laid aside. Kait reached around for her bow, affirming its proximity, before she quickly tossed on her over coat. She was just clasping her cloak when Calos strolled casually into the inn, a few large branches tucked under his arm.
            He gave her a quizzical look as he walked to the fire, threw a few fresh pieces of wood on, stoked the flames and stirred the softly boiling pot.
            “Ummm… where’s Keirn?” Kait asked.
            Calos pointed out the door. Bow and quiver in hand, Kait walked to the empty entranceway.
            The town was still deserted, small whirlwinds of dust kicking along the dried streets. Kait looked up and down the main throughway then ducked back inside the inn.
            “Where exactly is he?” she asked.
            Calos sighed and waved his hand at the door. Kait frowned.
            “Wouldn’t it be easier if you just told me?!”
            Calos chewed his lip, and then smiled. He produced a pool, scooped some of the cooked wheat into it and offered it politely to her. Reluctantly, Kait dropped the subject and turned to eating the meagre gruel that was breakfast.
            She was almost done her bowl when Keirn strolled in.
            “Finally. I thought we would have to toss a whole day’s travels because you weren’t going to wake up.”
            “Where have you been?!”
            “I see Calos made breakfast. Great, I’m starving.”
            Keirn walked over and took the offered bowl. He ignored his sister’s queries until he had finished of the gruel and washed its bland taste away with a healthy mouthful of water.
            “You had me worried sick, where did you wander off?”
            “Well, by my estimation,” Keirn said, leaning back against his crumbled bedroll, “I suspect that the source of all our troubles is not too far from here.”
            “What are you talking about?”
            “That plant… thing that had unceremoniously been incubating in my hand,” Keirn said, his voice biting with bitterness. “I’m fairly certain I’ve located its root system.”
            “I’m sorry… what?”
            “Last night, after you had fallen asleep, I was given the chance to think over everything that had occurred. I’m fairly certain that I had been infected with some bizarre parasitic plant life that imbeds itself into other organic flesh to obtain nutrients and grow. What I had was just a feeler of the damn thing. But, since it is a plant, it must have a root system in order to obtain water. If we destroy the roots, the plant should shrivel and die. Just like plucking a weed.”
            “Wait, so that thing that… you had… there’s more of it?”
            “Yes, and I believe it’s in the farmstead to the south of us.”
            “What makes you say that?”
            “Well, it certainly couldn’t be living in this desolate waste and I contracted the sliver between the farmstead and this village. As we had already encountered animal life in the woods, it had to be the farmstead. Course, I went this morning once dawn broke to check it out.”
            “All by yourself?!”
            “Well, Calos had to tend the fire and you were sleeping.”
            “What if… you got seeded again?!”
            “Psh,” Keirn said dismissively. “Now that I know what I have to keep an eye out for, I’m not worried. Come, finish your breakfast. I hope you liked it; it’s the last of our food stores.”
            Keirn then stood, grabbing his sword and walked out of the inn. Calos shrugged and poured the ashes of the previous fire to douse the current flame before following. Kait ate the remainder of her breakfast and joined Calos outside, stomach still growling.
            Keirn picked up a torch he had left on the stone well and checked to insure it was still burning strong.
            “You aren’t planning on going there, are you?” Kait asked.
            “Of course, why wouldn’t I?”
            “Well, there are the obvious dangers for one.”
            “Come now, I would think you would jump at the chance to help your fellow man.”
            “But you wouldn’t.”
            “I’m wounded!” Keirn mockingly exclaimed, clutching his breast. “Now, if you’ve got your stuff, let’s go. If we’re quick, we can even get a half day’s travel before we have to make camp.”
            He then turned, strolling boldly from the town. Calos hurried after and Kait was left with no choice but to join them.
            They crossed the waste and reached the hill, Keirn never slowing his pace. Kait jogged to keep up with him.
            “Do you even have a plan for killing this thing? You don’t even know what it is?”
            “It’s a plant, what more is there to know? Destroy the roots, kill the organism.”
            “I’m not sure how I feel about going to its center when a simple thorn nearly drove you insane.”
            Keirn stopped and rounded on his sister.
            “I wasn’t insane. I was just concerned about infection. That is all.”
            He resumed his course.
            “Can’t we just continue on our way? This thing is behind us.”
            “Technically, it’s ahead of us,” Keirn replied, waving his torch in the direction of the hill.
            “You know, your pigheadedness is really tiring some days!”
            “You’re welcome to go home!” he called back.
            They continued on, Kait spending most of her time shooting hateful looks towards her sibling. However, anger turned to worry once they climbed the hill and began the treacherous descent down its steep slope. She had forgotten how difficult the thing had been to climb and stumbled multiple times even without the added weight of her pack slowing her down.
            Keirn made a show of wrapping thick cloth around his hands before climbing and the others followed as best they could in the path that he blazed. A couple of times he unsheathed his sword and stabbed furiously at the earth. Those moments, Calos and Kait made sure to give the spot he attacked a wide berth.
            After the treacherous climb, they faced the fence. However, this time around, there was a section that had been collapsed beneath a rather large broken branch.
            “I’m assuming that was you?” Kait asked.
            “I had to cross it again.”
            They climbed over the fence and skirted around the cornfield, sticking to the long grass that separated the field from the woods.
            As they drew closer to the farmstead, Kait noticed that the roof seemed to sway in a manner untouched by the wind. There was still the thin wisp of smoke escaping from the chimney, but it was much smaller now. The green colouration also became defined as they drew close and Kait felt her feet falter.
            The entire building was wrapped with green tubules that poured from every hole and space in the stone. The windows were completely wrapped by the plant and the straw in the roof was mostly gone, replaced by the writhing green tendrils.
            This was a much more mature plant then the one removed from Keirn’s hand. All along the walls, what could have been mistaken as individual climbing ivy was instead great leaves sprouting from the sinewy stalks.
            “I wonder how it seeds,” Kait whispered to herself, half forgetting the dangers that had preoccupied her mind before. Thus, as they circled the farmstead, gauging the best entry point, Kait spent her time looking for buds or cones that the plant could use for reproduction.
            “Here we go,” Keirn muttered. There was a storm cellar entrance that was framed in iron. Tendrils broke through the wood but most of it was gone and the plant seemed reluctant to wrap around the iron frame.
            “Everyone ready for this?” Keirn asked. He frowned slightly. “Kait, if you want, you can stay out here.”
            “No,” Kait said quickly, her curiosity peaked. “I want to go inside.”
            “Very well. I suggest we keep our weapons ready. If the seed’s vigour is any judge, we may have to defend ourselves.”
            With that, Keirn kicked in the remainder of the cellar door. The tendrils snapped back as he pushed his way in, the torch held out in front of him like a ward, his sword held back ready to strike anything that came near.
            They stepped down into the cellar. There was an incredibly earthly and sickly sweet smell. Kait couldn’t identify it, but assumed it was coming from the masses of green vines that stretched along the ground. Most of them ran up the stairs into the main household but a large portion was wrapped about a hump in one corner of the room. Keirn approached cautiously, the torch constantly flicking from side to side as if he expected tendrils to shoot from the shadows at any moment.
            The tendrils forming the hump seemed the most active, slowly wrapping and squeezing together. The sickly smell seemed to rise from that area of the cellar. Slowly Keirn held his sword over the mass. The plant didn’t seem to react, though how it would Kait didn’t know. After a moment’s deliberation, Keirn plunged his weapon into the heap.
            Several vines severed at the thrust. Those cut but still intact recoiled from the blow, snapping into the darkness and retreating through a collapsed portion in the cellar’s wall to the safety of the shadows beyond.
            A peculiar liquid oozed up from the darkened heap, pooling over the remaining vines. The tendrils that hadn’t recoiled continued their steady strangulation. Keirn lifted his sword to the light, the dark ooze revealed to be a sickly red.
            “Blood,” Keirn muttered. He bent down and cut away at more of the vines. Several snapped away while Keirn removed a portion of the plant. He stepped back once he had cut off enough to see beneath the tendrils, a look of revulsion on his face.
            “What is it?” Kait asked. She moved closer but Keirn pulled the torch away so she couldn’t see clearly.
            “Let’s keep going,” he muttered. He stepped carefully towards the hole.
            Kait lingered a little, trying to see through the dark at the heap. But she couldn’t make out anything distinct with the torch’s light vanishing. Also, there was a stomach turning squelching as the vines continued their binding. She took a deep breath and followed the other two.
            The room they entered appeared to be the wine cellar. Most of the casks lay broken and covered in the vines, which continued into rough hewn rock beyond. The trio didn’t linger long sensing that what they sought lay in the unshaped earth.
            The vines didn’t cover this tunnel as much as they did the farmstead. They formed a thick, slowly moving cord in the centre. Keirn stuck close to the dry earthen walls. Calos and Kait followed carefully in his footsteps. The tunnel began to gently slope downwards.
            “Do you think it dug this?” Kait asked.
            “No, I think this was part of the farm,” Keirn muttered.
            The tunnel bent sharply then opened up into a spacious cavern. Water, from an underground river, trickled out of a small mouth in the western wall, forming a short waterfall that splattered ominously.
            The vines coalesced near the center of the room, wrapping about themselves until they formed a large pillar crowned with a single broad white petal flower. A peculiar luminescence emanated from the petals, casting off a ghostly glimmer that lit the cavern on its own. Three enormous stamens emerged from the center, casting off soft golden flakes into the air.
            Unlike the tunnel, the vines spread out to ledges carved into the walls. Water trickled down these smoothed outcroppings that appeared to have been hand carved. Leafy protrusions grew from these elevated pools, each slightly different than the rest displaying a remarkable variability in leaf size, colour and texture.
            “I think that’s it,” Calos whispered.
            A loud scratching echoed behind them and the three all turned around. The long trail of vines was rapidly slithering down the tunnel, a large bulk transported within their grasp. The trio jumped aside as the large mass was yanked into the cavern, pulled towards the flowered pillar in the center. Once it retracted within the folds, the plant began to quiver and shake. The stamens released even more pollen as the pillar’s base expanded until the lump was dragged into the dead center of the plant.
            The vines then constricted into themselves, a ghastly crunch ensuing. The red sanguine poured from the numerous spaces between the vines, rushing down the stalks and painting them deep scarlet. The plant convulsed a few more times before the petals drooped; satiated.
“This is it,” Keirn said, stepping boldly forward, brandishing the torch in his hands.
“No wait!” Kait called.
Her brother paused.
“What?”
“You can’t just kill this creature.”
Confusion painted Keirn’s face.
“What?”
“It’s not evil, don’t you see? It’s just another organism, struggling to survive against the harsh trials of its days?”
“Kait… it kills people.”
“That may be, but there are many plants that abstract required nutrients from insects and the like. Are you to say that we must hunt them and kill them because that is the only way for them to survive.”
Keirn shook his head.
“Are you saying we should let this… thing live from some misguided sense of morality?”
“What makes us different from animals if not the realization that all life is precious and needs protection? This plant could very well be unique, the first amongst its kind. You can’t just set it on fire because of the ways it needs to eat.”
“Yes, I can, just watch.”
“But why?!” Kait cried.
“Because,” Keirn said, with steely determination, “it gave me a sliver.”
And before she could react, he pitched the torch with all his might. The flame flickered as it soared through the air, landing squarely in the stalky center of the creature. Immediately, the green vegetation caught alight. That same, eerie shrill filled the air as the flames engulfed the plant. Tendrils snapped violently in the air as the flames ran up and devoured the plant and its enormous flower.

Keirn watched long enough to feel satisfied the thing was toasted before he turned and beckoned the others to follow. Kait whispered a silent apology before turning and leaving the plant to its fiery funeral.

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