Author Archives: Kevin McFadyen

About Kevin McFadyen

Kevin McFadyen is a world traveller, a poor eater, a happy napper and occasional writer. When not typing frivolously on a keyboard, he is forcing Kait to jump endlessly on her bum knees or attempting to sabotage Derek in the latest boardgame. He prefers Earl Gray to English Breakfast but has been considering whether or not he should adopt a crippling addiction to coffee instead. Happy now, Derek?

Dirty Gears and Dirty Streets

Second preview for our first novel Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow. Enjoy!

Available for Kindle and Print at Amazon.ca and Amazon.com!

***

Chapter 1: Jarret Renette, Seven Days Earlier

 

“The principles of electromagnetism and steam are perhaps the greatest discoveries of our time. Perhaps they are the greatest of all time. Now, the elements held solely in the purview of the Lord and nature are opened to the ingenuity of man. We are seeing a great upheaval of thought fueled by the revolutions of the cog and crank. Never has the destiny of man been so changed since the invention of the wheel.”

~ Alfred Patel at the Third Annual Academic Conference of Bélise

 

With a clap, Lieutenant Jarret Renette of the Queen’s Sixth Battalion slammed shut the pocket watch. It was impossible to shake the dogged anxiety. Not when he was so close to his destination and certainly not when he was already twenty minutes late.

Outside, a great crackle of electricity shot past the window and filled the air with the shock of its passing. The lingering flash echoed in Jarret’s eyes as he blinked the image from his mind. He sniffled at the smell of ozone as it wafted in from the cracked window. He would have shut it entirely but the heat emanating even this far from the engine would be suffocating.

To this is what I am returning, the young ex-soldier thought with a dry smile.

He could see the land outside. The view of the country offered little distraction from the jostling of the grand machine. The land, ostensibly famed for its lush greenery, was a brackish haze smeared across the bubbled pane. Small drops of rain pattered against the glass, causing once familiar beech trees to become twisted and deformed. They were the wracked, skeletal remains of a distant past that Jarret had nearly forgotten.

Jarret turned from the foreign countryside. He peered absently about his cabin, tired eyes drifting over the worn luggage shaking haphazardly upon the shelves overhead. The edges of those cases were frayed and stained with the grime of travel. Each rip and tear spoke a story – one filled with daring and adventure through the telling lips of unmended bullet holes. It was a life far removed from the trimmed morning coats and patterned ascots that they held. Wedged upon the polished brass shelves, those ratty cases were little rugged barbarians invading the pinnacle of refined society.

A cough from the other occupant stirred Jarret from his thoughts. It was a private cabin but, due to the excess of returning men, Jarret was required to share. Though he would have preferred the solitude – a commodity sorely lacking on the crowded ship – he could not find it within himself to say no.

But his fellow traveller hardly made an impression. The passenger still wore his military regalia, identifying him as a lieutenant of the Queen’s Cavalry. Furthermore, he occupied much of his time reading the local paper. It shook in his hands, though Jarret chanced to read the raised name – the Thyrian Chronicle. The front-page article covered, in exacting detail, a recent rash of thefts plaguing the city.

Curiosity led Jarret to browse the opening. After a cursory interview with a man by the dubious title of Grand Arcanist Loaghairne, the columnist proposed his own theory for the thefts: a secret cabal of sorcerers whisking the dining platters of the wealthy for use in disturbing but unknown rituals. Jarret expected to find mention of the Queen’s troops and the war waged for Empire and throne. But such business had already fallen from the interest of the world’s mightiest Empire.

The Lieutenant cleared his throat before folding the paper and tossing it to an empty seat. He regarded Jarret coolly.

It was hard to distinguish his age beneath the well groomed chops and moustache but he certainly was no more than a few years Jarret’s senior. Neither the cavalryman nor infantryman was familiar with the other. Jarret had only known a handful of the mounted troops and most of them did not returned with him.

“We must almost be there,” the Lieutenant spoke.

Jarret nodded, “That is my hope. It seems that even with these mighty inventions, public transport still fails to maintain decent promptness.”

“Punctuality: the lost art,” the cavalryman smiled. He leaned forward, extending a thin hand. “Lieutenant Remuel Bontflore of the Queen’s Third.”

Jarret grasped the man’s hand. Bontflore squeezed firmly – a trait common in the commanding officers.

“Are you on leave?”

Jarret shook his head, patting the head of the cane stretched across his lap.

It had become his closest companion over the long return home. Simple bands of silver reinforced its humble frame and a plain handle topped the polished rosewood. Only a subtle, weaving design etched around the top betrayed its foreign origin that valued small but exacting detail over obsession with progress in the face of propriety. It was the last souvenir Jarret obtained and was one he would keep with him for the rest of his life.

His companion gathered the meaning immediately.

“Forgive me. Most of the men I knew returning were either wrapped in bandages or born in boxes.”

“As were mine,” Jarret said. “I was fortunate that the offending bullet pierced clean through the flesh. Unfortunately, where the weapon failed the jungle succeeded. The physicians said the infection has been practically purged but the damage left shall be permanent.”

“So you were a member of the patrols?”

“Not exactly but we certainly passed through the jungle enough to feel as such. My detachment was entrusted with visiting the villages and ensuring the rebels found no safe haven there.”

“That must have been a most… difficult task. I confess I rarely left the cities as there were few places that accommodated the equestrians. If only we had been trained to ride those fearsome pachyderms like the locals.”

Jarret gave a smile that belied the tinge of horror he felt. Those beasts and their terrible march were impossible to forget.

“I heard stories of some rebels using the beasts in skirmishes. I can only imagine the courage needed to face down that foe.”

“Courage is a remarkable thing. In the moment, it is nearly indistinguishable from foolishness.”

Bontflore nodded. Another shock of electricity cackled, startling both men. They turned, bearing matching childish grins.

“I am certain we must be getting close,” Bontflore said.

Jarret forced himself to leave his pocket watch tucked away.

“I shall not miss this trip.”

“Nor I!” Bontflore laughed. But the smile quickly faded. “It almost pains me to think that the Empire plans to build these machines back there.”

“Considering the beasts they rode, this wouldn’t be as terrible.”

“Save for the smell.”

To accentuate Bontflore’s point, another cackle of electricity burnt ozone into the air.

“Will you miss it?” the lieutenant asked, following Jarret’s gaze towards the window.

Not an unexpected question, but it was one for which Jarret possessed no answer. He had been through much he had no desire to dwell upon again but for three years those jungles had been his life. The world he left behind was now the one that felt strangely foreign.

“I shall never forget it.”

“I often find my thoughts wandering those distant lands. I mean to say, so many months at sea will make any land appealing and while I loathed it while there, those boats forced me to reconsider the jungles with a touch more affection. And now, it seems all I do is try not to dwell on it. It’s been so long but I wonder if I felt this way when I left the isles.”

“There are things I missed,” Jarret said. “From both home and abroad.”

“Oh, truly. However, heading there carried the great sense of adventure. There was wonder and excitement over the unknown. But the return is so…”

“Predictable?”

“Terribly so. It is as if the Empire stood still while we were gone.” Bontflore laughed. “But yet, we say this upon the infamous Lighting Rail. This must be the recollections of world-weary sons.”

“I am sure, given enough time, we shall fall back into the familiar routines.”

“If I stay that long.”

“You plan to return?” Jarret asked.

It was Bontflore’s turn to regard the clouded window. His expression grew distant as if his eyes saw past the countryside and to another land.

“I don’t know if I have truly left. My dreams still carry their exotic aromas. Even the nightmares seem more real than this. I fear I left something behind. Something I must reclaim.”

Bontflore shook his head.

“I must sound like some love-struck poet. The truth is my return to Thyre will surely be limited. Arrangements with my trading partner back east are already made and I shall only oversee our business venture for a short time.

“But what of yourself? Are you happy to be returning?”

Jarret knew he should. But there was something familiar in his companion’s words.

“I, too, have some business to address in the city,” he said. “But I fear mine shall keep me for quite awhile longer. Regardless, I fear I am no longer in much shape for distant voyages.”

“Ah yes, the leg. She certainly left her mark on all of us, hasn’t she? That land was a wild mistress.”

“That she was.”   

The car shook as it thundered along its rails. Gears screeched as metal ground metal. Between the bright shot of sparks, Jarret noticed the pastoral landscape slowly dissolve. A grand road now wove outside, connecting the growing collection of houses. Farms vanished and Jarret could see the dark, smoky bulk of the city looming in the distance.

The capital of the world’s greatest empire, Thyre, did not rise from the ground so much as erupted from it.

Enormous towers scraped the skies, belching thick clouds of dark smoke into the heavens. Two large escarpments rose on either side of the winding rivers running into the endless sea of steeple-roofed homes. Tall, ancient walls surrounded the old city, ineffectual in containing the sprawl. Those walls were legendary for holding back the barbarian hordes. And now, the city had accomplished what dozens of invaders could not.

One cliff-side of the city was covered in the expansive terraces and gardens of the aristocratic estates capping at the great golden domed palace. Across from it, its twin cliff was pock-marked with porous holes from the endless mining in its side. They were the scars of the never ending search for metals smelted and laid out across the old cobbled streets.

With reckless abandon, the train ploughed maddeningly toward that pile of steel and smoke.  

A gurgled, disembodied voice crackled through the cabin as the engineer announced their arrival. With a great lurch the machine’s brakes deployed as a horrific scream – as if the metal beast were screeching its final breath – pierced through the entire cabin. Jarret slumped hard into the seat across from him as his cases crashed upon the floor.

Bontflore was quick with his assistance, retrieving Jarret’s cane and helping the soldier disentangle himself from the fallen luggage. Jarret could feel a flash of anger bite his face but he held back the urge to push the man away.

“We shall leave the trunks,” Jarret said curtly as Bontflore reached for the luggage, “we have almost arrived.”

The engine’s cry lasted the entire descent into the city as the last of the bent trees gave way to cobbled walls. At last the train rolled to a stop amidst a dock of stone and steel. Great cables hung from the girder-lined ceiling like the looping vines of a metal canopy.

Jarret waited until he was sure the machine had stopped before planting his cane heavily against the floor and clambouring to his feet. He turned his attention to the fallen cases, quickly inspecting his things to make sure they survived their fall.

The door shook open and a porter appeared, confused at the bags already waiting upon the floor. Jarret gave a beckoning nod before doffing a simple chimney-pot hat. He waited for the porter to bundle his things before turning to his companion.

“Perhaps we will see each other again, sir,” Bontflore smiled.

“A pleasure,” Jarret nodded. He paused. “Sir Jarret Renette. Perhaps you would be interested in stopping by my estate in the future?”

Bontflore started.

“Forgive me, I was not aware you were a lord,” Bontflore bowed.

“It is unimportant. We are both soldiers. And I dare say, I would not mind a comrade’s visit before he departs the city once again.”

Bontflore smiled, gathering his extravagant walking stick in his hands as he bowed the Lord out.

“I would like that very much.”

The hallway of the car was lightly carpeted and small brass lanterns jutted from the walls between the rowed cabins. The lanterns hissed at Jarret’s passage, the small flames waving their delighted farewell from the gas pumping through the inlaid pipes. Jarret could hear the raucous chatter of homesick boys and men finally returned.

Jarret pulled his pocket watch loose.

“We are near an hour late.”

“Begging your pardon, my lord, but the machinists are still working out the kinks. We apologize for any inconveniences while riding the Lightning Rail.”

“Have they considered the troubles this could cause the concerning gentleman?”

“Once again, sir, we offer our apologies,” the porter bowed. “But I would like to say that the trip from Dovern could nary be completed within two hours by either carriage or ship. It’s our hope this doesn’t impede your decision to travel with us in the future.”

“Well, it certainly would not be the only thing,” Jarret muttered.

They emerged from the machine and stepped down to the bustling platform. Jarret could feel the hairs on his neck tingle as he passed the energized hull. A footman was waiting to offer his hand and ensure no passenger mistakenly touched the metal. As if bidding farewell, the engine released one last great crackle of energy into the air. The blast struck the retaining rods bolted to the ceiling, discharging harmlessly above the heads of the gasping crowd in a great sheet of forking light.

The train was certainly an experience.

Officers in dusty uniforms shepherded the masses with brass whistles clutched in their teeth. The porter stood apprehensively by Jarret’s side as the gentleman peered about the faceless bodies moving past. Impatiently, he rubbed his sore thigh. The immobility of the journey had caused a terrible cramp to take hold of his leg.

It was just as his crest was falling that a friendly face emerged calling as he strolled forward.

“My word, has there ever been a more haggard visage of a half-dead phantom!”

He was a vibrant gentleman wearing a white wing-tipped shirt beneath a brazen double-breasted vest patterned in bright, swirling emerald and lavender. Great frills poked from the sleeves and collars held barely intact by a mauve cutaway tailcoat. White gloves and a simple black top hat finished the daring ensemble.

“The trip was quite different from that of my departure,” Jarret replied. The two young men embraced. “It is good to see you, sir Theodosius.”

“Ha, such formality is best saved for the unacquainted or the fawning! Come, we have long kept our correspondences during your foolhardy excursion to the wild, far-flung colonies. As I was when you left, still I remain your ever humble Theo.”

“Much has changed my friend but your new-found humility is something even I can not believe.”

“You wound me!” Theo gasped. The gentleman motioned for one of his servants to relieve the porter of his burden then beckoned Jarret through the crowd.

“Come, you must visit my estate at once. My curiosity over your journey will not be satiated until I bear witness to the great trophies of your excursion!”

“I fear I bear little that is worthy of attention,” Jarret confessed, his cane tapping rapidly to keep pace with his friend. “But surely our visitation can wait till after I have caught my breath at my own home?”

“Save such foolish talk. A strapping man like yourself has no need of rest! I simply must hear the story behind this keepsake.”

Theo lightly tapped Jarret’s cane.

Jarret grew quiet.

Theo sensed his companion’s hesitation and paused to examine the mighty Lightning Rail. Despite the lack of electricity, there was still a tangible charge in the air that caused travelers to give the engine a wide berth.

“What are your thoughts? I have yet to ride its magnificent interior. It is the first of its kind, as you undoubtedly know. Works off the principles of electromagnetism put forward by the top scholars of the Academy.”

“Quite the industrious empire we have.”

“Did you not enjoy your ride?”

“We heard tales of the wonder in the jungles,” Jarret related, leaning heavily on his cane. “The officers delighted in the advancements back home and spent many nights discussing the newest curiosities in our weekly rag. Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but I would have preferred the carriage.”

“Old-fashioned? My boy we are on the cusp of the future and Thyre shall lead the way into a glorious new age! This is a very exciting time for the empire.”

“If it is anything like the factories, I suspect it will be less glamourous than you imagine,” Jarret replied turning and continuing from the platform. “I would be quite pleased if I never saw that contraption again.”

Theo hurried after his friend. They emerged from the busy station to find a solitary carriage awaiting. Jarret’s belongings were already being loaded and the doorman gave a polite bow as the gentlemen approached.

Jarret looked about the street but there were no other persons to greet his arrival. Save for the carriage and the servants, only Theo remained.

“Is this it?”  

“Ah, yes. My apologies but it seems your arrival was a touch untimely. I fear most are involved with a rather important ball at the ha Romonte’s family estate.”

“I see.”

“Their son has just returned from the Far East himself. It seems now is the homecoming of the city’s prodigal children.”

“It is always important to remind one’s self of his place,” Jarret said. He climbed as best he could into the carriage. “I presume, from your presence, your invitation was lost in the mail?”

“Dreadful system we have. It always seems my address is cursed by neglectfulness. I harbour suspicions that no service wishes to travel the length of my boulevard.”

“Ha! Of course. Well, if its length has not become too ungainly since my last visit, I would be delighted to travel such an unfathomable expanse.”

“Our course is settled then. I take it as my personal responsibility to remind you of all the finer things likely forgotten since trampling around your smelly wilderness. It would be my greatest failing if you are not once more overcome with your misplaced patriotism by the time I am finished.”

“Since when did you become an avid supporter of the monarchy?”

“Less Queen and Country, Jarret, it is the women and wine where my loyalty lies. They may be awfully pale, but I am sure they are sweeter than what could be found in your muddy adventures.”

“The women,” Jarret asked, “or the wine?”

“Both. To home!”

***

Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow is available on Kindle or for online reading from all Amazon sites. Canadian customers can find the digital copy here: Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow Kindle Edition

Paperback versions are also available but only from a limited number of Amazon sections. If you are in Canada, you’ll need to order from Amazon.com. If you’re in the United States then you don’t need to worry! Check it out: Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow Paperback Edition

Welcome to the Smoke and Shadows

Greetings everyone. It’s been a long time. For those astute observers, they’ll have noticed that it is now May which means last month was April. It also means that there was little activity on the site. That’s because I was neck deep in work and thus unable to post regularly. However, I have finished the first draft of an exciting new novel called The Nanny State. But don’t expect to hear that name for quite some time.

What is more exciting is the release of our first novel Thyre. You may have noticed an announcement for its availability on Amazon. You may even notice it advertised in our little banners on the sidebar of the main site. This is a very exciting time for us and I just wanted to try and share that enthusiasm. As such, I thought it would be a good idea to post a little taste of the book for people to gauge whether it would be something they are interested in or not.

So, without further ado, here is the first preview for Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow. Enjoy!

***

Prologue

So loud was the beating of his breast that even the haunting lamentations of the Raven Tower could not drown its song. A chilling jolt swept his body, snaking along his skin and reaching the tips of his tingling fingers.

And something stirred within him. An alien sensation that caused ecstatic shudders to run along his spine.

He adjusted the sleeves of his long coat and stepped into the shadows as the other guest brushed passed without a word – two familiar strangers passing in the night. Only a hint of vanilla lingered in his wake.

The moonlight broke through the scattered clouds, casting down in grand beams that filled the cramped courtyard. Beneath that heavenly light, she was there. She stirred from the ground and the softest of moans emitted from the deepest crimson lips.

Tattered breaths came in short spurts as she crawled to her knees. Her hands cast about the cobbles, alighting upon a small string of shimmering stars. Her fingers wrapped about those beads as she pulled herself to her feet. Her mouth quivered, addressing the shadows that enclosed her on all sides.

She parted those lips and with the sweetest of voices she began to sing.

He could see her clearly now, illuminated as she was in the glow of the pale moon with the stars clutched in one hand and the ribbons of her gown in the other. She called out to the darkness, a gentle string of epitaphs floating upon the midnight air.

She raised a slender finger to her face. Blues and purples decorated her cheeks like a harlequin’s mask. She drew back, admiring the soft train of tiny rubies left against her flesh. A small, moist tongue slyly drew across her beaten mouth.

She was more beautiful now than he had ever seen her. Her visitor had come and enacted his will upon her. She sang so beautifully for him, a familiar tune he had heard so long ago. The stranger left his mark and it made her radiant: just like he had always remembered.

He wanted to go to her as she stumbled upon cracked heels. But he dared not emerge from the shadows. Fear clasped his heart. It squeezed the life from it till the muscle hung limp in his chest. He could see rejection lingering on her tongue and he dared not tempt fate.

She inspected her attire in the fading light. She cursed its torn skin and stained flesh. She plucked at the loose strings, tying what she could until it hung more naturally upon her frame. Then she turned to the prize still in hand.

She raised those glittering jewels to her neck, the string gently resting against her painted skin. It was a stark contrast of brilliant white against the dark circles of purple and blue. Her arms reached behind her as fingers worked sightless upon the clasp.

Suddenly, her fingers slipped and the stars fell to earth.

She bent to reach them but stopped as nails scraped the ground.

“Are you still there?”

Her eyes seemed to pierce his dark cover and stare directly into his own. She held him captive in that look, drawing him slowly into sight.

He took one careful step forward and then another. She straightened at his approach and the cloth of her dress clutched at her bosom. His eyes lingered upon her chest as it rose with each cautious step. He could see the prickling of her flesh. He could see the flush of her skin.

Slowly he bent and fetched her discarded jewels.

“You weren’t who I was expecting,” she whispered.

A smile caught at the corners of her lips. He held out her fallen prize and she turned her chin to him, exposing the long nape of her neck. With those languid fingers, she plucked the gentle flow of her hair and drew it back to reveal her full glory.

She was so beautiful.

Tentatively he reached out, holding the string against her. Fingers brushed against her and he almost dropped the gems.

She laughed. It was a sound as gentle as chimes.

His breath caught in his throat as he pulled the ends together. The clasp was cold in his hands but her skin was so warm.

“You are too kind.”

He froze.

She had given him praise. She had laughed at his touch. He wanted to say something. He wanted to speak the words that had grown knotted with his tongue.

But as he leaned to her ear, all words but one stuck in his throat.

“Marie.”

He could feel the heat drain from her.

“How did you…”

She turned, the unclasped jewels falling limp over her shoulder.

“Who are you?”

Her eyes clouded with suspicion as the smile evaporated from her lips. He could see the growing sneer. His heart fled before the inevitable lashings. He wanted to turn and make his escape while he could.

But his hands had other plans.

They sprung to life of their own accord, snatching the loose end of the string and pressing those beautiful stars tight against her neck. She stumbled back, her body striking against the red brick wall.

She raised her fingers to loosen the string. Chipped nails scratched at the inset stones. Her lips twisted, those dark words boiling up from within her. He pressed harder and harder, attempting to stop them before they could escape.

A hand lashed out, striking at the old spots. But they lacked the force they once had.

She tried to push herself from the wall but he slammed her back again and again until her resistance subsided.

She was disarmed. Her words were gone. Her strength was gone.

He wrapped his fingers tighter and tighter around that dainty throat until even the stars failed to shine.

***

Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow is available on Kindle or for online reading from all Amazon sites. Canadian customers can find the digital copy here: Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow Kindle Edition

Paperback versions are also available but only from a limited number of Amazon sections. If you are in Canada, you’ll need to order from Amazon.com. If you’re in the United States then you don’t need to worry! Check it out: Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow Paperback Edition

Thyre: City of Smoke and Shadow

Available for Kindle and Print at Amazon!

Paperback – March 22, 2017

Find it on amazon.ca or amazon.com.

Wounded and haunted by the Queen’s Campaign, Lieutenant Jarret Renette returns from the colonies to discover Thyre has become an unfamiliar city smothered in smoke and secrets. Struggling to reintegrate into a life of frivolous salons and visitations, Jarret’s disappointments mount as he bears witness to the relationship changes between his friends. A rash of curious silver thefts has grappled the fickle attention of the Thyrian elite and whoever can unmask the identity of the bold thief will receive a pair of pistols, opera tickets, the services of a sorcerer and, most importantly, a date with Lady Isabella. Needing distraction, Jarret is more than happy to accept a friendly wager amongst his colleagues. Unfortunately, what begins as a friendly bet becomes a sinister game when the group of unlikely companions discover the thief brutally murdered in his own manse. Suddenly, the sporting chase for a rascally thief has twisted into a dangerous hunt for a vicious serial murderer. As the investigators close in on their enemy, Jarret and his friends start to attract the unwanted attentions of deadly sorcerers, paranoid nobles, reclusive mechanists and an unforgiving constabulary. Prestige and noble ancestry won’t buy them any favours on the gas-lit streets of the Empire’s capital. And once Jarret learns that Isabella’s life is at risk, he must find a way to overcome both his physical and mental deficiencies if he hopes to spare his beloved from the killer’s knife.

Feature Image

Racism without Racists? Get Out

On February 22, a CERN spokesperson responded to allegations that their experiments with the Large Hadron Collider have not opened up a portal to an alternate dimension and sucked us unwittingly through to a universe where Trump won the American presidency.

I’m not convinced. On March 13, I found evidence of an artifact from the true timeline where the world hadn’t suddenly been engulfed in collective madness. I saw Jordan Peele’s Get Out.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s give the non-spoiler rundown so anyone interested can read this short list and then happily leave if they don’t want to ruin the movie for themselves:

  • Betty Gabriel is incredible. She sells the concept so hard and practically carries the entire horror atmosphere on her performance alone.
  • The first two thirds of the movie are actually pretty decent. The third act twist undermines it entirely.
  • Jordan Peele’s insertion of random comedic elements is tonally dissonant and breaks pacing.
  • Rod the TSA agent is both the worst character and worst actor. His goofy scenes demonstrate that Peele just can’t shake his comedic inclinations no matter how detrimental they are to the overall themes and narrative.
  • The movie sucks. Don’t bother watching it.
  • It’s got Josh from the West Wing trying to be creepy and sinister. But it’s still just lovable Josh from the West Wing.

We good? We good.

Now let’s get into the meat of things.

Get Out is a horror/thriller movie ostensibly about racism that is neither horrific, suspenseful or actually about racism. To say it’s a complete failure is to put it politely. Which is a shame because it was doing so well until it drove its narrative completely off a cliff.

See, there’s difficulty when an artist attempts to change genres. Oftentimes, they can miss the nuance or technique required to communicate the tone and emotion of the piece they’re trying to accomplish. In particular, Peele falls into the dangerous trap of trying to force an M. Night Shyamalan twist into something which really, really did not need it.

But first let’s talk about the shallow, empty promise of Get Out.

Get Out and its associated trainwreck and media all belongs to Jordan Peele, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures and whatever other sorry saps would want to tie their names to this mess.

The trailer and the majority of the movie promises to take a peek into the horrifying effects of racism. Even more, the premise offers something fresh in that we’re offered a window into the terror of social racism from the viewpoint of the victims. It’s such a beautiful concept in its simplicity. Pluck an urban black boy and plunk him down in rural, white, pampered walled communities and watch the growing horror of a world that appears so normal for everyone else take on slow, terrifying new dimensions from another perspective.

The one promising aspect of Get Out is its topicality. There’s no denying that American has a race issue. There was perhaps an argument at some naive point a mere year ago where sweet summer children perhaps professed that racism was a thing of the past. “We’re in a post-racist society!” exclaimed those—at best—idealistic voices. “We’ve elected a black man to be President. Surely man has reached equality amongst himself.”

It’s a quaint proposition and one people had been trying to politely refute beneath Obama’s tenure. But as the Tea Party voices rose and then we had a hugely polarising election where a giant, orange blow-hard who ran on the most blatantly racist platform swept into the highest echelons of the American government, bringing in tow the most racist and corrupt appointments seen in… well… it might have the distinction of being the most racist and corrupt government America has ever had. No one is refuting that racism is alive and kicking in American now. Not when the Ku Klux Klan openly announced a victory parade in Trump’s honour in the streets of North Carolina.

It was cancelled – I think. Due to protest. But I hazard to guess they didn’t plan such demonstrations when Obama won two terms. I certainly didn’t hear anything about their jubilation over Bush winning.

And this isn’t even touching any of the other events making world news.

Ferguson. Flint. Trayvon Martin.

What do all of these events have in common? They are all far more horrific than Get Out.

If I can be generous to the movie, it seems made under the assumption that Hillary would win. It’s a gentle finger wave from yuppie liberal capitalists looking to cash-in on the persistent racial driven protests without carrying an ounce of understanding or clarity for what those protests are about.  It’s a movie meant to villainize micro-aggressions—small social faux pas that accidentally perpetuate racist stereotypes or uncomfortable atmospheres towards marginalised groups—instead of actually making any comment on blatant or systemic hatred. It reduces persecution to a small swarm of nettling questions and statements of varying levels of inappropriateness.

“Is it true what they say about sex with a black man?”

“Tell me Chris, what is the black experience like?”

“You don’t have to worry; I voted for Obama myself. Twice. I’d have voted for him a third time.”

It is a movie, as the title says, about racism but without racists.

Which is a pity because it’s clear that Peele isn’t ignorant about those issues. The interaction with the police officer demanding Chris’ licence even though he wasn’t driving after the accident involving the deer shows an awareness for systemic racism in law enforcement. The dramatic pause when the apparent police car pulls up the driveway in the end—to find a pile of dead bodies and the house on fire—only works as a tense situation if the expectation is that Chris will unfairly be killed by an outside actor immediately assuming his guilt due solely to his skin colour.

However, those are the only two moments of racism. Everything else is a fake-out.

You see, Get Out isn’t about American home grown racism. It’s about magical pseudo-science brain transfers. That’s the third act turn. Well, it’s a part of the third act turn.

No, the true third act turn is Peele proposing that white people are racist because they just desperately want to be black people oh so much.

I cannot easily convey how mindbogglingly awful the twist is. There’s nearly an hour and a half of lead up drawing on black slavery and abuse that’s suddenly and immediately dispelled upon the realization that the villains of the movie are simply motivated out of a deep, profound sense of wanting to be black people.

I wish I was making it up because even typing it out sounds so stupid.

You see, Josh Lyman is a brilliant neurosurgeon who has perfected a technique for transplanting human brains into new bodies. He first performed this technique on his ailing mother and father. Unfortunately, the process requires a rather larger organ donation than the Red Cross is used to providing so the Armitage family looks to darling Rose’s love interests to provide the necessary vessel for dear Grandmama and Grandpapa’s grey matter.

This is, in Peele’s own words, the Armitage’s new millennial slavery. The only problem is that this isn’t slavery at all.

When pressed for why any of the villains are doing their evil, Stephen Root’s character best summarizes their motivations during his explanation for why he purchased Chris as his new body: “Why do they want this? I don’t know. I just want your eyes.”

There’s literally no explanation offered for why the Armitage’s target only black people for their bodies. Sure, Stephen Root hypothesises that black people are more fashionable—whatever the hell that means. But why any character is involved with this villainy is never provided a reason. Why does Rose fall in love with so many of the victims to lure them home? We know she actually loves them as both her moments with Chris are never once held as anything but sincere and she confesses that he was one of her favourites. And as for those aforementioned micro-aggressions? They take on new meaning with the reveal that these old, crusty people are looking at a new body. They want some insight into the persecution or perks they’ll gain by shedding their withered, dried husks.

These aren’t people that hate black people. These are people who desperately want themselves or their husbands to be black. They see those lithe Nubian bodies and think “I wish I were them.”

Seriously though, the only shining star in this is Betty Gabriel. If there’s one positive to be squeezed from this travesty it’s in me wanting to see more of this woman’s work.

This is about as racist as turning to a pretty Asian woman and saying, “You are so beautiful. I wish I could look like you.”

To best describe how the brain transfer element of the movie undermines Peele’s bumbling attempts to tap into racial conflict, I want to turn to the debate around same-sex marriage. Often times, LGBT campaigns pull on the civil rights movement to inform why their causes deserve equal sympathy and support. I just want to take a moment to marvel that it’s now the LGBT struggle that can inform how misguided and empty Get Out is.

See, one of the prevailing arguments against same-sex marriage and LGBT rights is the assertion that sexuality is a choice. It’s not, according to pretty much all research in the field. But it’s the largest argument used against it. The counterargument to the claim was elegant in its simplicity:

“Why would someone choose to be gay if all it will lead to is social ostracism, imprisonment, chemical castration and discrimination?”

No one would choose to be gay in societies preceding ours. And yet they existed. Hell, I’d be surprised if anyone would choose to be gay in today’s society and we have incomparable support and acceptance compared to the last five hundred years.

And yet, here is Get Out proposing just that. These rich, old white folk are, en mass, rushing into the wilderness of rural, white America eager to throw their cash and their lives into the hands of crazy Josh Lyman in order to become black. These same people know that black people face discrimination—they ask Chris about it directly and even Rose has been dating enough black guys to be offended when the police officer pulling them over displays systemic racism against them.

But apparently the mystical strength and sexual prowess of the black man is just too much for the white man to resist.

Course, the mind numbing stupidity doesn’t rest there. Once we learn that the black people are actual white people in black bodies, it seems suddenly weirdly cruel how the Armitages are treating their beloved Grandma and Grandpa. Georgina and Walter—originally introduced as the housemaid and the gardener—aren’t being enslaved by the Armitages. They are the Armitages. And yet Josh and his wife are happy to force them into sparse living quarters and put them at menial work in their old and vulnerable age. All to make creepy slavery illusions whenever Rose brings a lover home.

It lays bare the naked and mindless emotional manipulation attempts of Peele. Since, you know, the Armitages could have simply introduced Georgina and Walter as family friends while still maintaining their cover that the two black people on the estate aren’t really the family’s matriarch and patriarch. That wonderful hour and a half spent on creating the unsettling racism of suburban white communities is so hollow and meaningless.

There’s no maliciousness in the Armitage and their clients. They’re not motivated by racism. They don’t hate black people. No one even knows why they specifically pick black people. They could chose white people. It’s not like Armitage’s brain swapping procedure can only work along separate ethnic lines. And, in fact, if the family and friends were actually racist, you would think they would be kidnapping white people to extend their lives indefinitely as.

I think the best summation for Get Out and it’s clumsy, fumbling attempts at a message and horror are best described in the final scenes as Chris is breaking free from the Armitage’s basement clinic.

Having knocked out Jeremy Armitage and plucking a deer head from the wall, Chris ambushes Josh Lyman wondering what is taking his son and patient so long. After being fatally impaled, Josh Lyman stumbles into the operating room and in his last dying grasp reaches for stability and knocks over a single candle lit at the foot of Chris’ empty operating chair, setting the whole room aflame.

It’s such a wonderful scene for how absolutely stupid it is.

Why is there a single candle in an operating room? Surely a brilliant neurosurgeon like Josh Lyman would know that the smoke released from it is unsanitary considering he’s moving a person’s brain literally through it. It’s not like the damn thing was providing any needed light since it was both set at the foot of the chair (as far away from the brain as it could get which is where Peele seems to be most comfortable) and there were a number of bright clinical lights to allow him to see. We can’t even rely on the old Satanic Ritual that mindless, C grade horror schlock lean upon in their creative bankruptcy since there wasn’t any upside down pentagrams drawn in Chris’ blood to bless the holy surgery.

No, the candle literally existed to be knocked over in Josh’s death to set the house on fire.

Just like the racism literally existed just so you could be horrified that the movie wasn’t about racism in the first place. It’s sad that even Jordan Peele doesn’t feel like racism itself is scary enough to carry a horror movie.

Nothing makes sense. Everything is cobbled together in an amateur attempt to draw on topical controversy to sell tickets. Peele’s Get Out has as about much substance on the issues of modern American race relations as the empty cavity of senior Roman Armitage’s skull.

The most poignant moment in the movie is when Andrew Logan King grabs Chris by the shirt and tells him to “Get Out.” It’s a message that resonates across the screen since if the audience doesn’t heed it immediately, they’re about to be left as brain dead as the movie’s protagonist.

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Guess Who’s Coming for Dinner

So our copy of Arrival finally came in to the library over the weekend. This was actually one of the few movies this year I was excited to see. Unfortunately, circumstance saw that I wasn’t around when it passed through theatres so I was left waiting for rentals before I could enjoy it.

And there is something for the theatre experience. I had always dismissed people’s preference for the cinema as being delusional. However, whether it was through a worn disk or ailing DVD player, the audio quality was a bit lacking. We missed a good five minutes of the film trying to get a functional volume that didn’t burst our eardrums anytime an aircraft entered the scene (which is quite frequent) but still allowed us to hear the dialogue.

Granted, no one wants to read a review of someone complaining about their substandard view conditions. Or, maybe they do. I don’t know, I haven’t polled anyone about it. I’m assuming they don’t so I’ll just leave off with going to the cinema is definitely better even if it is crazy more expensive. But I’m not here to review Arrival either. At least, not really. Since I’m so late to this discussion, just throwing my opinions on the matter is probably redundant by now.

So I’ll just give a broad strokes review: I enjoyed it. I didn’t enjoy the time paradox. That’s not how language actually works. Conceit is better than Interstellar’s magic space library.

That should summarize the salient points.

No, there’s a different aspect of Arrival that I really want to discuss.

Awhile ago I wrote a little piece on racism in fantasy. It wasn’t my best argued piece, largely because it was just for the blog and beyond getting a first draft up, I wasn’t going to wed myself to the argument to tighten it further. Suffice to say, it’s a very common pitfall for creators to lean heavily on historical or cultural precepts when making new fantasy and science fiction races. This can, inadvertently, introduce biases, prejudices or stereotypes that were unintended. This can lead to a very flat depiction of a fantasy race wherein all members behave and act as one concept thus reinforcing preconceived notions that “all people are like X.” Wherein X is the original inspiration for the race but oftentimes is a rather unflattering depiction of a real world culture.

For a very simple shorthand, take a look at the modern depiction of elves. What do you imagine? Isn’t it a drunk, hairy midget who speaks like a Scotsman? I’d would be shocked if it was this:

Accessed from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alv%C3%ADssm%C3%A1l#/media/File:All-wise_answers_Thor.jpg

Thor converses with the dwarf Alviss by W. G. Collingwood.

Here we have the potato-headed Alviss coming to Thor to claim his daughter as his wife. Thor, conversing with the dwarf, argues he was made unaware of such an arrangement and will hand his daughter over if the dwarf is able to answer his questions. The dwarf is exhaustive in his reply, speaking with Thor until the morning sun rises and turns him to stone.

Sound familiar? It’s the concept Tolkien used in the Hobbit for defeating the trolls. Tolkien pulled heavily on older mythology and the Poetic Edda in particular for crafting his world. He laid the groundwork for most of our modern tropes.

But outside of being short, Alviss is hardly what you’d first imagine for a dwarf. Not to mention that Tolkien did exhaustive work to present his races in as rounded a manner as he could. I have little beef with Tolkien’s representation outside of it simply being copied ad infinitum since its creation. Hell, the Hobbit had so many dwarves in it that it would be hard to draw a single stereotype of them since they were presented with such a wide spectrum of behaviour.

Anyway, I don’t want to rehash the old argument because my driving point was that the issue with modern races is that instead of shooting for Tolkien’s creativity and diversity, we were getting endless derivatives that were reducing these concepts down to shallow stereotypes. Why not have new species and races that are formed and expanded beyond simple conceits and are informed by their own culture, biology and history into something wholly new, different and challenging?

Thus, we come full circle to Arrival.

Arrival is everything I want in a fantastical race. Not only are the aliens weird but their weirdness is a pivotal crux to the philosophy and themes in the piece. It’s the driving portion of the conflict and it’s really well done.

Needless to say, I’m going into spoiler territory so if you care… why are you reading one of my reviews again?

Anyway, Arrival does a fantastic job of enveloping its audience in confusion and uncertainty. Partly this is the editing and format through which the movie is presented. Sequences are played out of chronological order but, seemingly, in a benign way. I don’t wish to spend too much time discussing the nonlinear time elements. I hate time paradoxes and, sadly, Arrival introduces them with almost maniacal glee at the climax of its action which, instead of being the highlight for me, was the film’s lowest point. I’ve actually studied language and perception so the idea that thinking in the alien’s language suddenly grants super powers is a bit lame. I was willing to accept the conceit – I mean, you always have to accept some outlandish components of genre pieces – but that Amy Adam’s magic powers came even before she fully learned the language meant that their own explanation wasn’t internally consistent in the piece.

Regardless, I don’t want to discuss that. The whole circular time element is only good for its visualization within the written language of the cephalopods. Which ties back to my whole argument of designing alien cultures that are incredibly alien to what we know.

And everything about the cephalopods is meant to be alienating. It feeds into the overall disorientation of the piece and it’s done with such expertise that I couldn’t help but fall in love. I mean, the first appearance of the alien’s vessel – their black kidney bean shaped structure passingly reminiscent of the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey – is probably the most underwhelming aspect of the film. The smooth black curved contours were likely meant to reveal as little as possible for what was to come next and, potentially, lull the audience into a brief sense of respite.

If that is the case, then it does a good job since the first meeting with the aliens is pretty nerve-wracking. I absolutely loved how Arrival puts you on edge even though most of the film is, essentially, going through the daily drudgery of what would occur should we actually make first contact with an alien species. That is it say, it’s focused almost entirely on diplomatic efforts with a high priority placed on creating a line of communication than adhering to any action beats. In fact, the only action beat in the whole film seems really out of place.

However, there’s nothing more delightfully unsettling than that first scene where they board the cephalopod ship and enter the partitioned room. Watching the glass fill with gas as two dark shapes drift down  to hover like enormous disembodied hands before the minuscule contact team and their small, caged budgie is sheer visual brilliance.

And, ultimately, we don’t get to see much into the cephalopod culture over the course of the movie. There’s some excellent visual flair in rendering the language as some sort of mutable ink pattern, whose beginning and ending is so indecipherable that their program for creating responses has to present the cobbled lexicon together in multiple configurations during the course of a conversation. But even as we start to understand what little we can between the interactions of the lead characters and the alien visitors (including humanizing them by giving the two characters names of famous comedians), the movie throws us further off kilter when Amy Adam’s is brought aboard their vessel without the standard protective bio-suits near the film’s culmination.

Arrival and all associated images belong to Denise Villeneuve and Paramount Pictures.

We get a peek behind the curtain and we discover things are even weirder than the little we’d grown accustomed. The ground of the alien’s craft is actually some peculiar white ridged surface that looks more like frozen soundwaves. We’re introduced to an even more monstrous cephalopod that looks stranger than the other two we’ve met and the film itself takes on a grainy, dream-like quality for the exchange. Then, Amy Adams is dropped off and, instead of the ships taking to the sky, they just sort of roll over and vanish in a cloud of disembodied smoke.

It’s such a well conceived depiction of an alien that shares nothing in common with humans and I simply love how their own baffling biology is considered from their culture (language) to their technology (ship propulsion). Even better, you never actually see any terminals or anything in the ship since the aliens don’t have any appendages remotely similar to hands.

It is this kind of detail and consideration that makes you intrigued and wanting to learn more. It also works well for convening the mood and atmosphere of the story. Arrival addresses all my standard criticisms and I wholly recommend it for such an outstanding presentation of the power of science fiction imagining and just how it can be used to promote atmosphere and philosophy without falling back on tired and tried tropes and stereotypes.

Unless, of course, we want to argue that they were Lovecraftian horrors. But given the overall lack of destruction of Earth, I’m willing to let the antediluvian pelagic references to slid this time.

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The Most Dangerous Game

We’re going to do something a little differently today. Normally I shy away from talking politics on the blog. People (presumably) come here for entertainment so I try and keep things focused more on that than the nitty, gritty world out there.

But things change and sometimes you just have to type some words about it.

2016 was a year of many things. We saw some rather… unexpected outcomes across the world. Some were jubilant. Others were anxious. At the very least, a number of people and countries were hurtling towards uncertainty. Because at least that would be a fun change from what we normally have.

Up here in chilly Canada, we’d been warming up to our newly elected Prime Minister. Justin Trudeau has been, essentially, everything that Stephen Harper was not. He was young. He didn’t have hair plucked from a Lego man. He led the red party and not the blue. Even more amusing, and after a number of teeth grinding years beneath Harper’s Conservatives, he was the spawn of the more polarizing politician Pierre Trudeau. I wasn’t around for Papa Trudeau’s tenure but I have family who were and, suffice to say, they weren’t big fans.

But Justin was saying all the right things and playing all the right notes so that people were generally willing to overlook this admittedly irrelevant quality. There’s no point in tarring the son for the actions of the father, as they say. I think they say that. I also wasn’t around for the age of tarring people.

I’ll go out and say it though, while many in Canada and the rest of the world were swooned by Justin’s flowing locks, I was hesitant. While I considered him a step up from the prior administration, his handling of Bill C-51 was, at best, amateur. I don’t expect many people to be aware of this bill, least of all most Canadians, but it was our northern version of the far more discussed Patriot Act that implemented a number of concerning powers to overstep citizen’s privacy in the name of federal security. Bustling little Trudeau vowed to address the more sticky parts of the bill should he be elected (holding the bill hostage, I suppose) while the rest of the minority parties outright argued against its disingenuous and dangerous precedence.

Well, news flash, here we are two years later and there’s still no peep from wittle Justin and his lovable band of diverse misfits over addressing the tightening of state power over citizens’ lives. A broken campaign promise? From a politician? Why I never.

I suppose it could be still in the works and Justin just hasn’t gotten around to it. He has been pretty busy with his townhall meetings across the country, don’t you know.

But I get it. Politicians lie. They just want your vote and they just want power. We can’t really trust them after all. But be sure to show up to the ballot box to make the one you’ve arbitrarily chosen like your sports team so that those even worse lying other guys don’t get to take the government and invariably implement what they promise to do on the campaign trail.

Because, as it turns out – and quite contrary to Liberal apologists – most politicians actually make honest efforts to implement their platforms. A Rutgers study in America by Gerald Pomper found that between 1944 and 1976, winning candidate’s implemented two-thirds of their platform. What doesn’t pass is usually due to obstruction by other representatives and not due to the candidate blithely pitching their words away before the eyes of a cynical public. Hell, even President Obama managed to address seventy percent of his 2008 and 2012 campaign promises and he faced six years of hard Republican obstructionism in congress (which accounts for twenty-two percent of his broken promises).

This scepticism of campaign policy is not only unfounded but can be rather dangerous when people elect politicians on the basis that they don’t believe said politician will deliver on their words but pursue some fantasy platform held only in that voter’s own mind.

Thus, we shouldn’t shrug our shoulders in acceptance when a politician does brazenly, boldly and bald-facedly break a key plank in the platform.

Hello, Justin. Please tell me again how 2015 would be the last election in Canada under the First Past the Post system.

You see, the Liberal Party of Canada spent quite a bit of air time telling us  how they were going to push through electoral reform if they were to gain power. I mean, they kind of had to since both the NDP and Green party were banging that drum pretty hard and let’s be honest – the Liberals are not ever going to win an election unless they can somehow convince NDP and Green voters to begrudgingly give up parties they actually support to hold their nose for the Liberals at the ballot box.

You see, it wasn’t that Justin Trudeau walked on stage in glitter and beneath spotlights wooing the Canadian public. He won the election because, quite frankly, there was a massive grassroots effort to replace Stephen Harper with someone – anyone – and people would work together to see that goal realized. I think the Liberals walked away from their majority win (on 38% of the vote) with this delusion that they had somehow converted the majority (well, barely a third of voters) to their side.

Thus, nearly out the gate, the Liberal government has been trying to kill electoral reform. I’m not going to repeat the sad display they’ve put on over this. I will repeat the highlights, however:

Accessed from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sir_Robert_Peel,_2nd_Bt_by_Henry_William_Pickersgill.jpg. It is available, by Wikicommons statement to be in the public domain.

I’d rather not post a picture of your smarmy face, Justin. Here, let’s put up Sir Robert Peel. You know, the man that let the Irish starve to death so the government could cynically steal their land instead.

“We don’t have a mandate despite you voting for us being a good enough mandate to enact all our other policies. So we’ll put together a consultation committee to see what people want.”

“Oh shit, why do you want Proportional Representation? Wait, this is a recurring conclusion founded by all parties, too? It’s only our party representation that’s now arguing we should take some time after the next election to implement it instead of putting it forward now? You know what, we just simply haven’t heard from enough people.”

“Why do people keep bringing up our own committee’s recommendation for electoral reform. Look at this equation they used to measure the accuracy of election results to the vote totals. That’s math! Math is too hard!”

“Look, we’ll put out the world’s most misleading and disingenuous survey to get people to finally admit that they secretly want Ranked Ballot and not Proportional Representation.”

“Oh shit, that didn’t work. Fuck it. You’re not getting reform.”

Kristy Kirkup at the Huffington Post wrote a great summary for this about face from our inglorious leader on why he was turning his back on his promise. Now was not the time for such reform. He feels its not within Canadian’s self interest to have reform. He fears “extremist” voices getting seats in the government and propped up Kelly Leitch as his boogeyman.

Well, surprise Trudeau, but Kelly Leitch could very well be the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada. What are you going to do then? Ban her from running? Or is it that you’d actually rather run the chance of dangerous “anti-Canadian values” individuals getting top billing of your closest rival in the hopes of tarring them in future elections to keep your power?

And tell me, how is playing chicken with hateful, anti-Canadian rhetoric and beliefs in the best interest of Canadians?

If Trudeau legitimately wanted to safeguard Canadian values then it would be to open up proportional representation. Please, let Kelly Leitch run her own party. If she doesn’t represent the majority of Canadians she’ll get a meagre portion of the votes and end up with… what? Two or three seats? On the other hand, if she does represent Canadian values, then she’ll have to convince nearly 50% of Canadians that we’re all xenophobic assholes willing to throw our history, heritage and values in the garbage to bang some misleading drum about Islamophobia… errr, sorry, Barbaric Cultural Practices (TM).

But what you’re doing now is safeguarding nothing. You’re casting the dice, hopeful that Canadians will take her hateful words at face value and run back to the ballots to put you in place to keep her at bay from riding a minority of votes to a majority seats in the government. You’re basically asking us to support you, a self admitted liar and turncoat, to not believe your words but to believe your enemies. Because their words are scarier.

And you’re just a weasel trying to maintain control.

As it stands now, I’m looking at two big parties and neither represent Canadian values. And, news flash, but we don’t live in a two party system no matter how much you’d like that. There remains alternatives for me to choose. And those alternatives have historically siphoned off your votes leaving you in a helpless position to do nothing but watch as “anti-Canadian” advocates dismantle the country you profess to love. And it’s not like you even promised to enact Proportional Representation. You promised to end our broken First Past the Post where just about any other option would be better. Thus, I can only conclude that you’re keeping our broken electoral system (as described by you) simply because you think you can profit off it.

It’s a gamble and the most cynical one at that. And should the Conservatives not elect the boogeyman you’re hoping they will, I’ll shed zero tears if this blows up in your face.

Because it should. You’re not a normal politician, Justin. At least an honest one would have actually kept their word.

Grumpy White Men By The Sea

I don’t always review video games on this blog. Sometimes I review other things as well. Video games just happen to be a field I’m more experienced in. But if there is one thing that I require little encouragement, it is in providing my unsolicited opinion about topics in which I’m not adequately knowledgeable to provide.

Thus, let’s do a movie review this week!

Oscar season is nearly upon us. At least, I assume Oscar season is nearly upon us. Perhaps it has already happen and this discussion is merely academic between two handsome intellectuals like you, dear reader, and myself. In which case, the rest of my introduction is wholly unnecessary so let’s just get to the review on Manchester by the Sea.

As is often my style, I’ll give the short summary before going into detail: I liked it.

There, if that was all you needed from me to form an opinion about something then we’re done! See you next week!

For a more in-depth and tirelessly examination of why is going to take quite a bit longer. And, of course, necessitate spoilers.

Manchester by the Sea and all associated images are properties of Kenneth Lonergan, Amazon Studios and whoever else.

I saw Manchester by the Sea almost two months ago. I realized I hadn’t seen much within the theatre that didn’t result in me complaining about big Hollywood blockbusters and how they’re morally and creatively bankrupt wastes of time design solely to fleece you of your money and return little more than a fleetingly saccharine experience. Manchester by the Sea is no such thing. It is, as we casuals like to say, an “artsy-farsty” movie. If you’re looking for big explosions, big set pieces and big noises then you’re going to be disappointed.

In fact, I had low expectations for the movie in the first place. By the time it actually released near me it was already generating a bunch of positive buzz but from the trailers I thought I had the movie pegged pretty squarely down: a redemptive story about some cold-hearted uncle returning to his ancestral home to raise his bereaved nephew and learning the importance of family, love, God and warm apple pie.

Ho, how wrong was I!

There’s a funny thing about expectation. Ofttimes it can be the most impactful element to determining your feelings on a piece of art. Usually I’m sorely disappointed because my expectations are well above what the artist is actually delivering. But there are the rare times when I completely misread a piece and am shocked to discover that it surpasses my expectations by doing something I never imagined and I didn’t even realize I wanted it to do.

Manchester by the Sea is such a movie. First, it’s a character piece. If you’re looking for a tight or compelling narrative then this is not the place for it. In fact, my earlier assumptions weren’t too far from the mark in what the actually story is about. But the thing with character pieces is that a simple story isn’t a detriment but often required in order to concentrate on the development and emotions of the character you’re examining. But the way that Manchester engages the audience is by exploring its character in a novel way:

They don’t talk about it.

Manchester by the Sea is more a movie of people not speaking than it is anything else. It’s both the source of the film’s greatest strengths and biggest missed opportunities. I have a keen interest in communicating without communication. Many of my stories involve characters that are either discussing some greater matter couched in a discourse over a petty incident or are telling a story through the things they won’t tell. So I was enraptured watching the film execute a technique with which I struggle constantly.

And the movie delivers on its method with varying success. I find it hard to believe that most audience goers don’t pick on this “lack of communication” element. It’s presented almost heavy-handedly but still manages to not be overbearing. I mean, the opening sequence with Casey Affleck working his janitorial job presents three instances of characters talking without directly talking.

You have the stilted conversation between the old man and Affleck as they stare at a dripping tap. In seconds you can get the older man’s frustrations as he tries to wrangle an answer for how he should fix the tap while Affleck – not being a plumber – refuses to say anything that could be held as a liability against him. Then, we see him fixing the toilet of a woman who is talking on the phone with a friend of hers in a neighbouring room where she’s going on and on about how she has a crush on her janitor and doesn’t know what she should do about it without realizing Affleck can hear every word. Then we have the most important (technique wise) conversation between Affleck and a tenant who thinks he’s being a pervert and trying to see her shower naked when in actuality he’s trying to tell her he simply needs to run the water to find where the leak is while getting more insulted with her insinuations.

The third interaction is perhaps the most important in my mind because it’s a moment where two characters are talking past each other. Presenting the audience with this technique early on and clearly is vital for the later interactions between characters to be understood. There’s a lot of moments in Manchester by the Sea where cross purposes are what lead to the tragedies its narrative encircles.

Following this rather lengthy opening sequence, we then see Casey Affleck go to a bar and turn down the advances of a single lady before displaying clear self-destructive tendencies by getting in a fight with two innocent bar goers. This clearly establishes Affleck’s character as a broken man from the start with the initial intrigue for the audience being the explanation for how he got there.

And this is the point where Manchester by the Sea sort of loses me.

I have no idea how this project was originally conceived by the pacing in its reveal of information seems rather disjointed to me. There are essentially three major hooks at the start of Manchester to draw the audience in to its unfolding story. These are, not in chronological order: why does Affleck have such a negative reputation in town, why is his nephew’s mother unable to be his guardian and why is Affleck self destructive? Unfortunately, two of these hooks are revealed by the end of the first act. The last of the hooks ends up being incredibly minor. We then have a large portion of the movie lurch between rather unnecessary scenes that reinforce what we’ve already learned by that neither advance the character’s arc or lead to a greater understanding of the situation.

And I can’t help but wonder if maybe this was the result of some editing room decisions. I want to say that Manchester by the Sea was originally conceived so that you never had a direct explanation for why Casey Affleck moved away from Manchester and is absolutely against raising his nephew. I feel like the movie meant for you to piece together a lot of vague scenes to come to the conclusion itself. Unfortunately, given what we have of the film, I could see in early screenings that a lot of audiences might be confused or unused to filling in the blanks themselves. Thus, a clear cut explanation was provided in a rather brutish and drawn out solution.

See, the worst part of the movie is when Affleck must sign the guardianship papers for his nephew. He then stares off into space as we go into a very long “flashback” sequence that illuminates us about why he’s self-exiled from his hometown. We learn of the tragic fire, the loss of his children and how he blames himself and tried to commit suicide. Then we hop back to reality and watch the rest of the movie unfold with the new understanding of his personal demons.

Except, so many of the scenes afterwards lose their poignancy because they mostly feel redundant. We see him try to get a job in Manchester but the wives of the men are adamant he shouldn’t be allowed within their stores. We know those minor characters blame him for the tragedy and think he’s irresponsible but this rather obvious conclusion was better represented in Affleck’s ex-wife’s sub-arc. We also have moments where he burns his pasta because he fell asleep on the couch and starts to panic. We know this is because it triggers his memories of the accident but it doesn’t make us feel any greater sympathy or emotional connection to the character. So much of the movie is this reinforcement of rather basic concepts already established that I can’t help but think they were the sole vessel for the narrative before.

If that were the case, I’d have really liked to see Manchester by the Sea without its flashback sequence. As such, I’d say that its pacing is easily the worst thing about the movie since there are many examples of small scenes that don’t do much but just remind you about characteristics of the principle characters that we already knew.

Now, the film still succeeds even with this clumsy editing. I think part of what makes Manchester by the Sea so powerful is that, ultimately, it’s not a redemption movie. We watch Affleck eventually fail to meet his duty to his brother and his family. The wounds inflicted by his past – all almost entirely self inflicted too – are simply too great for him to overcome. Here’s a dramatic moment that should transform a man and he shrinks away from it, retreating from the pain much like he was at the very start. It’s tragic and that’s what makes it work.

But as far as tragedies go, Manchester by the Sea is a fairly cerebral one. Ancient Greek tragedies were meant to put your emotionally through the wringer so that at the end you were utterly drained and left in a numbed state of catharsis. Manchester is a bit strange for its genre because it doesn’t really wring the emotions from you. I feel like it asks that you engage with the movie not emotionally but intellectually in order to understand what is happening. This is largely because, once again, no one is truly talking to each other. It’s like the whole movie is in passive voice and keeping you as detached from the involved emotions as Affleck is trying to be detached from his pain.

So… yeah. I enjoyed the film. It did something I could immediately recognize and in a way that was a little different to keep me intrigued. It’s experimental and from that experiment we see results not normally produced by traditional methods. It’s not particularly refined but I was engaged nonetheless. I would definitely say it’s Oscar worthy though I suspect it won’t be an Oscar winner.

But it has earned its acclaim. That is for certain.

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Brighter Basements

Alas, this will be my last video game review for 2016. Not because I feel like five weeks is a long time to be doing reviews (because I’d keep going if I could). But simply because I’ve run out of new games I played in 2016. Alas, as you get older, you end up with less and less time. But that’s ok. I’m sure I can find something else to review from 2016 until I get to April and then go silent as I go back to novel writing.

Darkest Dungeon and all associated media and gruesome art is the sole property of the twisted psyche and corrupted imaginings of the disturbed folks of Red Hook Studios.

Not to say that there weren’t other games worthy of discussion that released. Sadly, I won’t be hitting up Pillars of Eternity since I’m nowhere near finished with it. Plus, I’ve started Age of Decadence which I’m surely going to discuss on a future date.

But we came for a review and a review I shall deliver. Thus, I present to you my opinions of Darkest Dungeon!

Unlike the other games I’ve reviewed that I haven’t finished, Darkest Dungeon is different than the rest. For one, I’ve tried twice now to get through it. However, it’s greatest negatives keep holding me back from finally completing the game. However, following that first point I know I will finish it because in the end I like the game despite it’s horrible stumbling.

But let’s start with the positives.

Darkest Dungeon drips atmosphere. It’s a dungeon crawling game that set out to blend Lovecraftian horror with Dungeons and Dragons tropes. Visually and audibly it hits those notes perfectly. I adore the the heavy inked visual style the game adopts. Even more, I love their direction for a early gunpowder era and their reimagining staples of class based party gameplay. The healer of the game is the Vestal who is some type of angry battle nun. Other support classes include the Middle Eastern Occultist who directly channels Lovecraft’s fantastical orientalist who is steeped in otherworldly knowledge and spiritualism. Then we have the plague doctor to address poisons and maladies.

Each class is delightfully flavoured and visually striking with distinctive abilities that make coming up with party combinations an interesting mix of careful planning and delightful discovery. Unfortunately, while they do have a large range of abilities, I find that certain builds seem far more useful than others so you will specialize most of your classes in a similar manner. This was a recurrent problem in Xcom so it’s more an unfortunate expectation than a large disappointment.

The expert visual design isn’t reserved just for the classes, however. Both the town and the dungeons are perfectly captured. You get a real sense of progression as you turn your rotting hamlet into a veritable fortress through investments of your family heirlooms into its well-being. And reclaiming those goods from the four themed dungeons is very engrossing. Each dungeon not only places an emphasis on different game elements but are also themed with different types of horror motifs. You have the catacombs filled with undead monsters immune to bleeding but vulnerable to holy powers and just outright damage. The warrens, however, are body horror caverns choked with cannibalistic pigs with large health pools and ready to spread disease at every corner but can be overcome with stuns and bleeding. The weald has been taken over by coven of hags and their mushroom monsters that poison but are susceptible to bleed. And finally the cove is crawling with Lovecraftian pelagic terrors that melt beneath acid.

The developers clearly adore the game and have provided a number of interesting updates since its release. One of them added town events to make your return from dungeon delving even more interesting – and potentially perilous.

As you explore these locales, you will have to overcome ambushes and consider how to interact with curios while attempting to complete a random assignment within its halls. I love the curio system that forces you to prepare your expeditions and guess which equipment will overcome potential traps to reveal even greater treasures then you’d normally discover. It adds yet another concern when your readying a mission than just selecting the best men and women for the job: you need to make sure they’ve got the best tools for the areas too.

There is a certain amount of repetition to the game, however. I happened to really enjoy the base exploration and combat mechanics which was fortunate for me because you do a lot of it. Your immediate goal is to train your adventurers to level six while upgrading their equipment in order to prepare them for taking on the horrors that await beneath your family estate. Since the game adopts a number of Xcom elements and roguelike properties, you’ll invariably be setback while you’re training your troops. There are different bosses available in each dungeon to hone your skills and test your fortitude. And for the most part these bosses are really fun.

But this bleeds into the biggest problem of the game. There is no getting around that after awhile the whole system feels like a grind. Part of it is due to the imbalanced difficulty. Low level missions are stacked in your favour while high level missions very clearly put you at a disadvantage. I’m normally ok with this sort of challenge but each setback doesn’t push you towards a failed game state – it just eats up time. You can’t technically lose Darkest Dungeon since every week you receive new adventurers to toss against the grinder of the different locations. However, each adventurer that dies represents a loss of time more than anything else. Adventurers are easily replaceable, it just takes forever to do so.

And the further you progress in the game, the easier it is to lose your investments.

At the time of this writing, there is an update in the works to reduce the time and grind investment of the game. As I am already locked into the original format, this has no bearing on my criticism though, once again, great on Red Hook for addressing the game’s shortcomings.

Contrast this with Xcom where the initial months of the game are the hardest as you’re stuck with substandard gear and inexperienced rookies. You don’t have the skills or armour to really push through opposition and some bad turns can make it so you can’t keep up with the alien progression. However, if you manage to make it through four months, you’ll have progressed past the alien’s technical prowess and find that you’re just rolling over even the scariest enemies. The more time you invest in a soldier in Xcom, the less likely you are to lose them.

It’s a tough tightrope to balance and it’s unfortunate that neither Darkest Dungeon nor Xcom really found that sweet spot.

So everytime you lose a hero it’s demoralizing only because you know just how much time it’s going to take to build another character up. And it’s not like those first couple of levels are hard either, as mentioned. Furthermore, there’s little in the ways of variety to make repeated levelling of new adventurers interesting. Each dungeon has three assorted bosses that you can kill for improved rewards and to unlock the next level of missions in that dungeon. Unfortunately, those bosses return again and again only with improved damage and health. I was excited at first to see the variation between the bosses and how dramatically the can change the scope of battle. But by the third encounter, you knew exactly that you needed to fight them and it was, once again, more a chore to slay them than any feeling of achievement.

Combat in Darkest Dungeon is turn based with your forces aligned in ranked rows against the enemy. Attacks target specific locations which makes eliminating key targets as well as shuffling formations out of position the key to victory.

But perhaps the worst offence for Darkest Dungeon was it’s titular final level. It was clear that these final levels were design to be the most nerve wracking for the player as you’re warned even retreating from those missions will incur an automatic random hero death as a party member falls in the retreat. What you don’t know until you’ve succeeded on a mission is that every member of that expedition refuses to take on another Darkest Dungeon foray. Thus, assuming that you don’t lose any heroes whatsoever in the course of the game, you need at minimum sixteen heroes at max level and equipment to beat the game. And this is ignoring the inevitable setbacks that the system is designed to incur. Even worse in particular with the Darkest Dungeon is that you really need to have a party tailored to the particular challenges of that level if you want to succeed – something you won’t know until you embark. Which then means you’ll lose at least one hero automatically when you invariably have to retreat. That’s more heroes that require training and equipment. And this is ignoring that certain heroes are far better in the missions than others so some of the heroes you’re levelling end up not being that useful in the end after all.

Which means you’re back to grinding up low level adventurers to deal with the final mission. And then, of course, the real nail in the coffin is that adventurers refuse to do missions below their difficulty level so you need to keep enough adventurers at each difficulty step to train up the recruits you’ll need in the end.

It’s a long, grindy chore. And it’s really bad. I can see what the designers were attempting and I applaud their commitment to the challenge but I can’t help and feel like there must be a better way to implement those ideas. Personally, I would have liked to see the Darkest Dungeon restrictions scaled back. Either have automatic death on retreat or have party members refuse further expeditions – not both. That would ease a bit of the unnecessary grind in the end – which will be well over seventy hours if you wanted to go and kill all the different permutations of the different bosses before taking on the final missions.

As it stands now, there’s really no point in playing Darkest Dungeon without loading up an online guide or walkthrough to cut significantly down on the time you have to take to make up for mistakes. And that’s why I prefer Xcom’s execution over Darkest Dungeon. With Xcom, failure is less frustrating since your options for bouncing back are better. Or, in the worst case scenario, you can simply restart the entire Xcom campaign and still finish a second try without coming anywhere near Darkest Dungeon’s runtime. Darkest Dungeon straight up punishes you for experimenting and learning and it drains the enjoyment from the game.

Each class has specific barks within game which extends to when their will gets tested if they experience too much stress. Darkest Dungeon requires that you manage both your heroes physical and mental health if you wish for them to survive.

Which is a pity because otherwise it hits the rest of its notes pitch perfectly. The story is… well… adequate enough for what it’s trying to accomplish. I think it’s telling that I felt the four base dungeons were more engaging and interesting than the Darkest Dungeon itself which oddly enough seems less horrific despite its attempts to try and up the scale of cosmic horror. But it quickly becomes more over the top than anything else. That and coupled with the aforementioned frustration sucks what fun horror you could extract regardless.

But I know I’ll finish the game and for one reason alone:

The narration.

My goodness is the narrator in Darkest Dungeon amazing. Between the moody dialogue and the expert delivering, I could listen to the Darkest Dungeon soundbytes all day. And with such lines as “Prestigious size alone is of no intrinsic value unless inordinate ex-sanguination is to be considered a virtue” how can you not love it? The tale of the Ancestor’s fall isn’t one that has an inherent draw but the voice actor’s performance make you want to hear every single twisted turn in it over and over again.

Major kudos to the actor and writer for easily the best audio in a game all year. Which is good, because you’ll be hearing him warn about trapped halls and corridors for many, many hours as you retread your steps in the unending gruel that is…

The Darkest Dungeon.